Horse talk for mature people over 40 - Page 845
 
 

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Horse talk for mature people over 40

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        05-02-2013, 02:05 AM
      #8441
    Started
    One day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the rascally behaviour that was going on.. So He called one of His angels and sent the angel to earth for a time.


    When he returned, he told God, 'Yes, it is bad on earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not.


    God thought for a moment and said, 'Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.'


    So God called another angel and sent him to earth for a time. When the angel returned he went to God and said, 'Yes, it's true. The earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good..'



    God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% who were good, because he wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going.


    Do you know what the e-mail said?







    Okay , I was just wondering, because I didn't get one either.
    nvr2many, With Grace and teresa60 like this.
         
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        05-02-2013, 05:03 AM
      #8442
    Started
    To Be 8 again!

    A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his
    wife, who was
    Looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not
    Far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

    'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror ..

    On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

    Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

    Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

    Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

    He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?

    Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

    'I meant my dress size, you ******!!!!'

    Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong.
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        05-02-2013, 08:15 AM
      #8443
    Trained
    About Sereno, I think that he was just picking on me for picking on him. He surely knows we love him.
         
        05-02-2013, 09:22 AM
      #8444
    Yearling
    CW, AlexS, I agree that our DH's are all keepers. Sacrifices every day to keep us happy and safe. Wouldn't trade mine for the world, although at times I'd cheerfully strangle him and I daresay there are people who wonder why I haven't already done so.

    AlexS, I think Sereno is the white man with the sidearm in one of his pictures. I think it's their friend/riding companion who is the tall black man. Sereno, where are you? Hope you are well and safe and soon back with us!

    Stan, you are incorrigible. Have I said that before? Why buy Ros a weedeater? Just send her out there with pruning shears to cut the grass! Lots of bending, good for the abs and back, don't you think? See what she says and get back to us.

    Have a great day, everyone. It's raining here, slowwwly...and I'm hoping for a few more inches of rain. Only 5 for the year and we're still 15+ behind for the 12 months.
    AlexS likes this.
         
        05-02-2013, 10:02 AM
      #8445
    Green Broke
    I think it was said best by the wife in War Horse, "I may hate you more, but I'll will not love you less".
    Ladytrails likes this.
         
        05-02-2013, 10:40 AM
      #8446
    Trained
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Roadyy    
    I think it was said best by the wife in War Horse, "I may hate you more, but I'll will not love you less".
    Was that about Stan?
         
        05-02-2013, 11:08 AM
      #8447
    Green Broke
    I don't recall if it was in reference to Stan or Sereno...lol I always get the first without the last. I'll tell you why.


    I used to be a smoker and my wife always complained about the cost of them. I made the mistake of sending her after me a carton once. Apparently she decided to find me the cheapest brand and try to force me to smoke them if I wanted to smoke. While searching she ran across rolling tobacco and compared the cost of paper and a can as to the cost of a carton of premade. She came waltzing in with a huge prideful smile on her face like she just found the greatest deal ever and sat the bag in front of me. I, ofcourse, raised mortal cain about the aggravation it is to roll them every time I wanted to smoke and her response was to quit smoking. So I went ahead and used it to prove a point.


    Well, a few weeks go by and it's her time for cycling. She texts me to stop off and pick up her some feminine hygiene products on my way home. I go through the isles looking for the cheapest brand and run across cotton balls. Well the light bulb went off and I grab a huge bag of them and headed for the sewing department to grab some thread. Yep, I walked in and dropped that bag in front of her with a smile that looked like the cat that just ate the canary.

    She commenced to opening the bag and asked what was all of this. I explained that her products were too dang expensive and this would save a lot of money by rolling her own. She begins to complain about the trouble with this idea and that she couldn't do it this way, which I knew she would say. I smiled and said if you can't do this then you should quit!.
    AlexS, nvr2many, Celeste and 3 others like this.
         
        05-02-2013, 11:35 AM
      #8448
    Yearling
    Ahh a bunch of comedians today!!

    Was checking in to see if Sereno was ok...

    Had a great lesson yesterday, finally ran through all three tests and they went well, my trainer was pleased. The show doesnt start til next Thursday, but we haul the horses on Tuesday. I'll be hauling by myself again, plus one other horse. A little nervous, but I know it will go fine. I think we are taking the major highways, but at off times, so it should be a smooth ride and is only over an hour drive. Will get Kes settled in, drop the trailer and then drive home for the night. I'll head back on Wednesday to start working with Kes in the big arenas, and will spend the night in the truck. Sleeping bag and blow up mattress all ready to go. It's not going to be so rough...there could be worse places to sleep than the back of a Land Rover LOL!
    Ladytrails and Roadyy like this.
         
        05-02-2013, 11:38 AM
      #8449
    Green Broke
    Great Luck, WG. I hope you have a bed as soft as cotton to make sure you get plenty of rest.
    With Grace likes this.
         
        05-02-2013, 04:23 PM
      #8450
    Trained
    Hey nice to to see everyone again
    Have a great day
         

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