AlexS: I keep trying, get down to my last, & go buy another pack, but am @ the wire. Patches too heavy-duty for me, try cutting them in half. I may just need to cold-turkey (amongst all else courageous things I have in mind). Thanks all for the "western" support, I do think that's where I need to go; very idea of that saddle is comforting (as is Australian; I had one & sold it. If ever can have/need a saddle, I'll be looking @ Australian..but that's in future-thought). Right now: just need candles/prayers that my spaghetti-trying will manifest soon. Really appreciate you guys, you're great. Oh: my weird job is an EMT/peace officer @ a large "active adult" community.
Maybe me sharing my personal stuff will deflect from the drama. So here it is.
TJT, If I could go buy another pack, I would so do that, like yesterday. Sadly, I am 37, don't have kids of our own, but would like to, we've been foster parents for 6+ years now. I've been burying my head in the sand about my lack of fertility, and so I went to a clinic this week with hubby, Brad.
I was told it would just be an info gathering visit, but then I was on day 5 of my lady visit, and apparently that's the perfect time to scan.
So they scanned. They wouldn't tell me anything, but I have issues, many of them I heard them talking about. When I asked, I was told, with smiles, nothing to worry about - screw them, I heard what they said.
Something is up with my uterus lining.
I have two cysts on my right ovarie
And my antrical folical counts are 4 on one side and 8 on the other.
So basically I am doomed.
And the killer, is that I have to give up cigs for 3 months before treatment - so at this point, I am giving up for no reason at all, as I don't even think it's possible we can have kids. When those Drs tell me that, I am smoking in their waiting room, while they explain the rest to Brad.