Yeah it is :( I loved the horse that we had to put down, adored him, and when he went I felt like someone had ripped my heart out. That had me down. Then I was ripped to shreds by a lot of people on one forum who disagreed with the situation, so I stopped posting there, and then they stalked me to ANOTHER forum and kept attacking me on there as well... which had me wishing that the hurt and the pain of losing Latte would stop, and then musing about ways I could just make it stop, mainly centered around the fact that dead people don't feel pain. I wasted a lot of hours considering how I could make it happen with minimal physical pain.
I really think that Monty saved me - the horse I had taken on to be my riding horse after I had to retire Latte, he was part of the cause of our crisis (we had 5 horses on the property at that time, and had no choice but to cut the numbers however way we could) but he gave me something to live for when I couldn't care about anything or anyone.
A CLEAN SLATE FOR THE FUTURE