Horse vrs. Boyfriend.
 
 

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Horse vrs. Boyfriend.

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    02-15-2011, 03:00 PM
  #1
Yearling
Horse vrs. Boyfriend.

Let me just say that I am overly frustrated right now. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now and he KNEW when he started dating me I had a horse. That was RJ, at the time and I was boarding him. He was all into horses and thought it was the cutest thing and came over to see him and watch me work him all the time. So I was really ecstatic to find someone who liked horses too. Then I brought RJ home, and since he was kicked out of his parents house my parents were nice enough to let him move in for very little in rent. So I was trying to train a horse in hard circumstances, because I didn't have right equipment, the right people to help me, and they started logging behind my house. So I wanted to buy a different horse, so I went out looking and he got mad and me because I just wasn't going to sell RJ and be done with horses. And I explained to him that horses are my life, they are what I want to do in life and I will never live without one so long as I have the money to have one.
So now I have Gizmo, and because he couldn't save money my dad kicked him out, so he lives a town away and he wants an apartment, and I DO NOT want to live in an apartment! He KNEW this because I have only told him five thousand times, and I am not giving up Gizmo after I have searched so long for a great horse and finally found one.
He really doesn't understand that apartments around here run 900-1200 a month, if you saved that money instead of throwing it out the window into an apartment you can buy a nice house in a couple of years of savings. I don't know why he is trying to rush it so much I am only 20 years old! It is hard out there, things cost so much now a days. I would rather save for something I want than throw money out the window for something I would HATE.
So now all he says is that I love my horse more than him and that I never pay attention to him, and I do! I feel like I am neglecting Gizmo because I'm trying to spend time with him. I am so frustated and just have been crying about everything. Am I wrong and being selfish by not wanting to sell Gizmo and move into an apartment? I don't think I am. Does anyone have any advice or anything? I mean it has gotten so bad lately any mention of Gizmo he freaks out and won't talk to me the rest of the night.
     
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    02-15-2011, 03:02 PM
  #2
Weanling
I hate to say it, but you look pretty young and if it were me...I'd be single and have a horse.

ETA: You're in a good spot to have your parents support and a horse of your own. Don't make the mistake of moving in with a guy you've only been with a year and losing your horse. Life changes so fast, things might go downhill and you may be 30 before you can get another one.
     
    02-15-2011, 03:04 PM
  #3
Weanling
Any guy that wants you to give up your passion to pay more attention to them is NOT the guy for you... Plain and simple.
     
    02-15-2011, 03:15 PM
  #4
Super Moderator
Please do NOT move into the apartment with him. DO NOT. It will be a mistake and it will become progressively harder to extricate yourself. That is all there is to it.
     
    02-15-2011, 03:20 PM
  #5
Weanling
Think of it this way, do you want to live for yourself, or do you want to live for other people? He's clearly trying to live for himself, and trying to make it easier for him to do what he wants by trying to rope you into a commitment that benefits him.

Don't feel bad about wanting your life to be the way you want it to be. Don't let yourself be swayed by him if you don't think it's a good decision. If he's going to be a jerk about it, it shows his true colors.

Anyway, being single is much more fun than people give it credit for ;)
     
    02-15-2011, 03:21 PM
  #6
Yearling
Thanks. I have made my definite stand that I am NOT moving into an apartment and am NOT selling Gizmo. That is that. It is everything that is frustrating to me and the he calls me out that I love Gizmo more than him and how he says that because I don't want to move out from my parents house that I don't ever want to move out. Which is for sure not the case. I want to have my own place, what 20 year old doesn't? I just want to make sure that it is financially capable to do so and not be in debt for the rest of my life. One thing he says is that "having a horse is childish and a pipe dream" that hurts. It almost makes me feel stupid. I love horses and want a career with them and I have been working a degree for two years almost. But when he isn't like this, he is the awsomest most sweetest guy ever. Just mention the word horse and his attitude changes though.
     
    02-15-2011, 03:24 PM
  #7
Foal
I finally broke up with my boyfriend of 11 yrs last month. Long story short, I was settling for someone who didnt care for my horses. Everytime I would go with my horse and friends I would get a guilt trip. Made me feel like crap because I was trying to juggle work, horses, boyfriend, and life. Like you, he knew I was all about my horses. It got to the point I would dread going home.

Is it hard? You bet. Do I get lonely? Yes. Would I take him back? Not a chance.

When I am ready I want a boyfriend that supports my love of horses or likes them as well as I do. I am not settling.

If he is already this way what is he going to be like years down the road?
     
    02-15-2011, 03:27 PM
  #8
Started
Quote:
Originally Posted by DunOverIt    
I hate to say it, but you look pretty young and if it were me...I'd be single and have a horse.

ETA: You're in a good spot to have your parents support and a horse of your own. Don't make the mistake of moving in with a guy you've only been with a year and losing your horse. Life changes so fast, things might go downhill and you may be 30 before you can get another one.
Gotta agree with DunOverIt here.

When I started seeing my BF, I told him straight up, "Flash comes before you, if you ever made me choose - I would choose him hands down." I see it like having to choose between my son and a BF. My horse is dependant on me to care for him, exercise him, etc. My BF is perfectly capable of doing things on his own, caring for himself.
     
    02-15-2011, 03:29 PM
  #9
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by horselver1979    
I finally broke up with my boyfriend of 11 yrs last month. Long story short, I was settling for someone who didnt care for my horses. Everytime I would go with my horse and friends I would get a guilt trip. Made me feel like crap because I was trying to juggle work, horses, boyfriend, and life. Like you, he knew I was all about my horses. It got to the point I would dread going home.

Is it hard? You bet. Do I get lonely? Yes. Would I take him back? Not a chance.

When I am ready I want a boyfriend that supports my love of horses or likes them as well as I do. I am not settling.

If he is already this way what is he going to be like years down the road?
Thank you that helps a lot coming from someone who sounds like has been through the exact same thing. 11 years is a long time I commend your bravery. I am a very emotional person about break ups and things. I do love him so it is VERY hard for me to even think about breaking up with him. I keep trying to say, well maybe it will get better, and it does, but for a little bit and he is back in his bad mood again. We will have a good weekend together and then on Tuesday he will be back to being a jerk about everything and not loving him enough. It is wearing me down so much.
     
    02-15-2011, 03:30 PM
  #10
Trained
I broke up with my boyfriend of nearly 3 years partially because of my horse gypsy. He was mad because he came before her in my life [as in I was dating him before I got her] and I talk about her all the time and love her more than anything or anyone. He couldnt handle that and got really jealous of her and tried to get me to not ride or see her and stuff. I dumped him.

No one can tell you what to do, but if this doesnt change, do you want to spend the rest of your life like this ? Feeling guilty because of something you love ?
     

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