The Horseman's Book of Excuses. Please contribute! - The Horse Forum

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post #1 of 61 Old 04-03-2013, 06:28 PM Thread Starter
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The Horseman's Book of Excuses. Please contribute!

I am thinking of writing, (and illustrating) a humorous cartoon book, called "The Horseman's Book of Excuses"

This would be a catelogue of funny "excuses", such as

My mare won't trot today. She has a headache. I think she's PMSing.


I can't keep my lower leg solid, I shaved this morning and it's really slippery now.

My horse won't stay out of my personal space. He really likes my perfume.


Get the idea?

Add the funniest ones you can imagine, or if you have every used REAL ones that ARE funny, let's hear them!
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Last edited by tinyliny; 04-03-2013 at 06:31 PM.
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post #2 of 61 Old 04-03-2013, 06:31 PM
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Lol sounds fun :)

I don't like to use excuses but I know I do lol my main one is that my mare occasionally invades my space. It only happens when she is nervous or trying to tell me something see I'm doing it, excuses Lol
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post #3 of 61 Old 04-03-2013, 06:34 PM
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Dang it, you must have edited cause I missed 90% of the OP lol
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post #4 of 61 Old 04-03-2013, 06:35 PM
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My horse won't stop rubbing on me; I think he believes he's a cat!
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"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
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post #5 of 61 Old 04-03-2013, 08:26 PM
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Here's my excuse......but it's pretty much true..if something is going wrong, I just tell my trainer. " I have no freaking idea what the heck I'm doing."

Oh yeah, and "I've had 2 babies, my muscles don't work that way anymore." I use this when I'm tired of squeezing my knee in and posting.

Oh, and one of my faves....."Well, he's an Arab, and that's why he's so spirited."....as rider goes flying through the air...
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post #6 of 61 Old 04-03-2013, 08:31 PM
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It's raining.
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post #7 of 61 Old 04-03-2013, 08:34 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MangoRoX87 View Post
It's raining.
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If we used that as an excuse in Seattle we'd have nothing but excuses.




I used the "I've had two kids" one myself.


Ok. Like, "Sorry that he bit you, my horse doesn't like men"
coudl be something like "Sorry she bit you, my horse doesn't like men who don't understand how she feels"
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post #8 of 61 Old 04-03-2013, 08:40 PM
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I don't know why she won't listen to you, she listens to me. Maybe she sees how you treat your wife! ( I've actually said that one.)
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post #9 of 61 Old 04-03-2013, 08:42 PM Thread Starter
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OH. LOL!!! That is precious!
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post #10 of 61 Old 04-03-2013, 08:45 PM
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Sorry he kicked you, he was rescued 10 years ago!
Don't feel bad that he bit you. He has to bond with you before you handle him!
I can't go out and work on my sitting trot today; there's probably ice under the inch of snow we got.
We didn't place because this judge HATES Appaloosas.
I can't keep my eyes up, my helmet keeps sliding down.
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