The Horseman's Book of Excuses. Please contribute!

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The Horseman's Book of Excuses. Please contribute!

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        04-03-2013, 06:28 PM
    Super Moderator
    The Horseman's Book of Excuses. Please contribute!

    I am thinking of writing, (and illustrating) a humorous cartoon book, called "The Horseman's Book of Excuses"

    This would be a catelogue of funny "excuses", such as

    My mare won't trot today. She has a headache. I think she's PMSing.

    I can't keep my lower leg solid, I shaved this morning and it's really slippery now.

    My horse won't stay out of my personal space. He really likes my perfume.

    Get the idea?

    Add the funniest ones you can imagine, or if you have every used REAL ones that ARE funny, let's hear them!
    Endiku, Wheatermay, FlyGap and 5 others like this.
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        04-03-2013, 06:31 PM
    Lol sounds fun :)

    I don't like to use excuses but I know I do lol my main one is that my mare occasionally invades my space. It only happens when she is nervous or trying to tell me something see I'm doing it, excuses Lol
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    Wheatermay likes this.
        04-03-2013, 06:34 PM
    Dang it, you must have edited cause I missed 90% of the OP lol
    Posted via Mobile Device
        04-03-2013, 06:35 PM
    My horse won't stop rubbing on me; I think he believes he's a cat!
    tinyliny, Dustbunny and Stichy like this.
        04-03-2013, 08:26 PM
    Here's my excuse......but it's pretty much true..if something is going wrong, I just tell my trainer. " I have no freaking idea what the heck I'm doing."

    Oh yeah, and "I've had 2 babies, my muscles don't work that way anymore." I use this when I'm tired of squeezing my knee in and posting.

    Oh, and one of my faves....."Well, he's an Arab, and that's why he's so spirited." rider goes flying through the air...
    nuisance and KylieHuitema like this.
        04-03-2013, 08:31 PM
    Green Broke
    It's raining.
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    Kelli likes this.
        04-03-2013, 08:34 PM
    Super Moderator
    Originally Posted by MangoRoX87    
    It's raining.
    Posted via Mobile Device

    If we used that as an excuse in Seattle we'd have nothing but excuses.

    I used the "I've had two kids" one myself.

    Ok. Like, "Sorry that he bit you, my horse doesn't like men"
    coudl be something like "Sorry she bit you, my horse doesn't like men who don't understand how she feels"
        04-03-2013, 08:40 PM
    I don't know why she won't listen to you, she listens to me. Maybe she sees how you treat your wife! ( I've actually said that one.)
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        04-03-2013, 08:42 PM
    Super Moderator
    OH. LOL!!! That is precious!
        04-03-2013, 08:45 PM
    Sorry he kicked you, he was rescued 10 years ago!
    Don't feel bad that he bit you. He has to bond with you before you handle him!
    I can't go out and work on my sitting trot today; there's probably ice under the inch of snow we got.
    We didn't place because this judge HATES Appaloosas.
    I can't keep my eyes up, my helmet keeps sliding down.
    xxdanioo, AllieJ333 and Stichy like this.

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