This would be a catelogue of funny "excuses", such as
My mare won't trot today. She has a headache. I think she's PMSing.
I can't keep my lower leg solid, I shaved this morning and it's really slippery now.
My horse won't stay out of my personal space. He really likes my perfume.
Get the idea?
Add the funniest ones you can imagine, or if you have every used REAL ones that ARE funny, let's hear them!