How can I convince my parents Im ready for ownership? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 8 Old 07-31-2011, 11:48 AM Thread Starter
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Exclamation How can I convince my parents Im ready for ownership?

I was wondering how i could convince my parents that I am ready to own a horse. I have been riding, showing, and volunteering with horses for the last several months. Is it too early to ask? Am I ready? I have loved horses ever since i was little. They are my life. Also, I know horses cost a lot of money, would an average middle class family be able to own a horse? Help!
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post #2 of 8 Old 07-31-2011, 12:08 PM
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I've been on both sides..... a teen wanting a horse, and now I'm a parent of a teen that wants a horse. My main concerns with my daughter are:

Will her grades suffer/will she complete school work etc?

Will horse ownership cause her to not want to be as involved with school events?

Will I get stuck taking care of her horse?

Will I get stuck having to PAY for everything for her horse?

What happens when my daughter looses interest, am I going to be stuck with a horse and the expenses of a horse that I can not sell??

My advice is to begin answering these questions for your parents, not by words but by actions. Make sure you have some money saved up, maybe a couple hundred dollars to prove that you are serious about contributing to the horse's needs and have money to help out in case you need a vet or something goes wrong. Make sure you have GREAT grades, and get involved in something in school too. It is really important to have relationships with your school mates and teachers and be involved with what is going on there.

I think a next step may be to ask to find a horse to lease. I know it's not the same as your own horse BUT, a lot of times you can use the horse's tack so it wouldn't be a HUGE out of pocket expense for your parents all at once and you can slowly build up your own stuff for when you do get a horse. Also, in that way you can prove you can keep your grades up, outside activities AND take care of a horse and make your parents feel like there is a little bit of a safety net (all parents are scared of being STUCK with a horse their teen no longer is interested in). I would stick with this for at least 6 months or so. I also think asking to lease first will show some maturity as well as let your parents know you want to really try it out without them risking being stuck with a horse that you either won't take care of, don't have time for or lose interest in.

When all goes well with the leased horse for a while, then I would sit down with your parents and calmly, logically have a conversation with them and ask for their point of view on how it's going etc etc and that you feel you have proven you are ready for a horse of your own. If they say no, or not yet.... then ask them their reasons and try to calmly listen, and then take a few more months to work on those things so that they don't feel that way anymore.

You also need to remember, that these are hard times still. Parents are very very proud creatures and we like to shelter our children sometimes so that they may stay young at heart as long as they can, or may simply be too embarrassed that we can't afford to give them everything they want. I can't even dream of telling my daughter she can't have something because we can't afford it... sometimes it's easier to just say "no" with no reasoning behind it. I'm not saying your parents are broke, but please be sensitive to the fact that there may be circumstances preventing them from getting the horse that they don't want you to know about for whatever reason. You are getting to an age where part of showing maturity will be in showing sensitivity to your parents stresses and what is going on in their life too. It is one of the greatest ways you can show respect.
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post #3 of 8 Old 07-31-2011, 12:45 PM Thread Starter
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I already am a cheerleader for my highschool and have straight A's in every class. The barn i ride at is 45 minutes away. They don't think I have enough time for a horse. I would quit cheering in a heartbeat. They are also not- so- keen to leasing a horse. I have to convince them too. any advice?
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post #4 of 8 Old 07-31-2011, 01:24 PM
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Prove to your parents that you are responsible. Pitch in around the house, making beds, dishes, helping with meals, etc. Do you plan on attending college? If so, then leasing or part boarding someone else's horse is likely your best bet. I rode at a stable whereby I was able to part board a horse for a while, then another as my skills improved then advanced to a wonderful jumper. Part boarding has it's advantages and it's cheaper as you're not paying full board.
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post #5 of 8 Old 07-31-2011, 01:33 PM Thread Starter
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Yes i am definitely going to college. I was thinking if I promised them that I leased my horse, would it cut the all the costs in half besides tack and like?
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post #6 of 8 Old 07-31-2011, 04:24 PM
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I grew up in a middle class family. But since I was one of five children, my parents could not afford to give such an expensive hobby to only one of their children. The bought us all a small sailing dinghy , instead. I did not realize that I was being selfish to ask for so much for only myself. But I could not have earned enough money to reall offset the costs.

Many years later, I have a special needs son, so once again, I dont' have the financial freedome to have my own horse.
But I discovered half leasing and have been able to have a horse that feels like it is nearly mine. It is an excellent solution for when ownerhsip isn't workable.
With college coming on, leasing is a more workable solution.
Good luck!
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post #7 of 8 Old 08-07-2011, 11:51 AM
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You are doing everything right to prepare yourself to be an outstanding horse owner when you are an independent adult and able to support yourself and your hobbies. Sometimes owning a horse comes down to practicalities, even though you may be mature, knowledgeable and responsible enough to care for one. Considering you'll be heading off to college within a few years, leasing might be a better alternative for your current situation. Also, adults discuss things, so ask your parents how they would feel about your leasing and negotiate according to their concerns. If it is money, have a plan to share or cover the costs. What ever their final answer ends up being, just know that you are getting a lot of great experience with horses now which already puts you ahead of many other people your age. Good luck!
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post #8 of 8 Old 08-08-2011, 08:02 AM
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Moved from other section so bumping it up for OP...

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass: it's about learning to dance in the rain..."

"When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves."

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."
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