How can I explain this to my mom without sounding rude? - Page 3
   

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How can I explain this to my mom without sounding rude?

This is a discussion on How can I explain this to my mom without sounding rude? within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

     
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        11-18-2008, 10:14 AM
      #21
    Super Moderator
    ...I am going to go the other direction...

    Personally I think you should have your mom talk to him every time she walks by, skip, hop, jump... whatever. Because... when you are riding him, he should not be looking around or listening to his surroundings, he should be giving you 100% of his attention....

    I just think ... it's good for him in the long run and she really is just helping and she wants her involvment with him too...

    Just my 2cents...
         
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        11-18-2008, 11:37 AM
      #22
    Banned
    Well my main problem is, is that when we first begin to work his attention will be on me 100%, then when he knows he's about done his attention will start to fade, and then we realizes that everything is either interesting or horse eating

    Because of the cold weather, my mom hasn't been coming up to watch me ride and when she comes up he's normally in the pasture because I finished riding.
         
        11-18-2008, 11:51 AM
      #23
    Trained
    I agree that distractions are a good thing. It'll teach you both to work through them and help him gain trust in you. The more horse eating monsters he's exposed to the more bomb-proof he will become. Also good lessons in you gaining and keeping his attention
         
        11-19-2008, 01:43 PM
      #24
    Trained
    I wouldn't say anything to my mom. This is Sonny's issue not hers IMO ( I really really really am not trying to be harsh on you. You have come a long way with Sonny and I think that's great. Please read this with the nicest tone you can think of.)

    You can't protect the horse from the world around it. Birds, moms, balloons and crazy kids at the shows, horse eating trash cans etc, etc.

    You need to be a constant companion and guide for Sonny. You need to let him realize that YOU are in control, not the distractions. When you are aboard him he needs to be focused on you regardless of whats going on around him. He in essence has a job to do and that job is doing what YOU say.

    I think you are focusing on your Mom because ATM she is the only distraction you have any control over. She's being targeted because she's the only one that you can remove.

    JMHO but if I was doing all that your Mom was doing for my girls and they asked me not to talk to them when they were riding, I would sell the **** horse. I would be that hurt. I think it could be very detrimental to the relationship between you and your mom. She obviously loves you, why else would she be cleaning up Sonny's poop?!?! Know what I mean???

    I try to purposely distract my horses. To desensitize them. Ribbons on the fence, trash bags. I'll place a lawn chair in the pen or one of my Son's larger ride on toys.

    We obviously have different ways of training and teaching and that's OK.

    More than anything I want to caution you on putting the relationship of you and sonny BEFORE you and your mother. That's a huge mistake.
         
        11-20-2008, 02:20 PM
      #25
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JustDressageIt    
    I'm throwing this thread for a loop:

    I think the best training aids are things that disctract your horse - it makes you have to work through them :)

    Plus... your mom is cleaning up after Sonny.. I would have killed for a mom like that!

    I'm just saying!

    If it really bugs you, bring it up with her, but be nice about it :)

    Wow girl you read my mind!
         
        11-24-2008, 10:40 PM
      #26
    Yearling
    Well, as someone who has experienced this, I know how you feel, but like everyone else, this is Sonny's problem not your Mum's! (Good wording Dumas!)

    My Mum is incredibly fond of my pony Bailey... she's spoilt her rotten from day one... she was my first pony, and she's been a part of the family for 6yrs now... my Mum hardly comes out but when she does, she'll be out in my paddock patting that darn horse until she falls asleep in her arms. I've told Mum to not spoil her so much, but I certainly don't ever tell her to be quiet, not move etc whilst she's being ridden (not saying that's what you expect your Mum not to do either)... perfect example for this... me and Mum were mucking out my paddock the other day together as I've just come off crutches... Bailey was being ridden in the paddock by her rider and Millie was struggling to get her attention to stay focussed on her... my Mum started going "Ohhh show us your awesome strut Bailey... ohhh look at the pretty pony trotting... ohhhh look at the ponz! Aren't you just a good little girl?!" If anything it annoyed me than Millie! I was rolling my eyes at the stuff coming out of her mouth whilst smiling and shaking my head... but Millie didn't let it affect her... Bailey tried to use us as an excuse, and tried to veer to us a couple of times, but Millie told her no and told her to get on with her work... Bailey is incredibly cunning, and will use ANYTHING to her advantage... distractions are her best friend, but also a great tool for the rider... something to work through, and achieve at the end of the ride. Millie stuck it out, had her walking, trotting and cantering despite the distractions without Bailey using us as an excuse and then got off... we believe in the reward system... do what you wish to achieve, get it, then end on a good note with praise... Bailey being the attention seeker that she is, enjoys being rewarded, and has become SO much more accepting and happy in her work by doing it this way.

    Good luck!
    x
         
        04-08-2009, 11:36 AM
      #27
    Yearling
    My mom always comes to see me ride and talks to me the whole time. Super annoying, eh?
    Just say, "Sonny's distracted really easily, and you know he loves you so much.. I think when you come up and talk it distracts him.." or something.
         
        04-08-2009, 12:04 PM
      #28
    Trained
    If you say anything just be careful with how you say it.. she does a lot for you from the sounds of it, so let her know you appreciate it too. At least with my mom, even now when I'm not a kid anymore, I'm still her kid and have to watch my tone with her. Good luck though, if she has ever worked with horses on her own I'm sure she'll understand! Maybe you could get her to work with you, so that you're ready for the distraction so it could be a training aid? That way you're including her too!
         
        04-09-2009, 07:29 PM
      #29
    Trained
    This thread is an OLDIE. The OP is no longer with us.
         
        04-09-2009, 08:16 PM
      #30
    Trained
    LOL, oops
         

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