But sometimes I feel that, even though I have an instructor, I'm not actively learning. I'm getting time in the saddle, but those "ah ha!" Moments are rare. I find when I work my lease, even though I am not as confident in my abilities with him as I am with the horses I have known for years, I feel I am actually learning and actively understanding and striving to achieve things I never could achieve before.
I was able to get him to round his back, drive with his butt, be in frame and properly collect. Never in the past three years have I gained that experience.
I certainly have come a long ways, and the team has given me experiences I have never thought possible. But I feel stunted, almost. But maybe that's because I put a lable on something it never had to begin with. Never once did my instructor say he would teach us the finesse and means of riding at practice, or how to ride. We need to do lessons for that. He gives pointers and coaches us, and we excel.
But half the time I feel like what I've learned isn't valuable, or that its "wrong". But I suppose that is the way the world works when you are a novice.
I'm thinking in a few years I might quit the team to split off and find something I enjoy, and learn with people I trust who can get me where I'm going. I already contacted a trainer seeking a pupil. They do cutting, and while that isn't my thing, the knowledge they are willing to teach in starting foals, tuning up horses, and training in general, is invaluable. Its a long shot, if I get picked, but doesn't hurt to try.
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