How do I convince my parents about buying a horse? - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 65 Old 07-27-2012, 11:50 AM
Green Broke
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You're not going to get your own horse (that won't even actually be yours, it'll be your parents' horse). I'm 18 and have wanted my own for 7 years..but it's not realistic, and I'm lucky I got a vehicle I'm allowed to drive.
My dad asked what I wanted to do for my 16th birthday, and I asked that I could go on a 2 hour trail ride with a friend. I knew I wasn't going to get a horse and I loved going on trails, so that's what I asked for, and that's what I got. That was both my birthday party AND my present.
My dad offered to let me choose my 17th birthday present, but I didn't ask for a horse again, because I knew it wasn't going to happen. Begging for a horse will never get you one unless you're spoiled rotten with absolutely rich which rarely happens. What I did ask for my birthday that my dad would pay for me to lease a horse for a few months, and he obliged, knowing that it made me happier than anything else. My dad actually went beyond what I asked and continued paying my lease until he died, in which my mum started paying because even though we had less food choice in her house, she knew it made me happy and didn't want me to lose that, without me having to beg for it.
After my dad died I found out from his coworkers that he was planning on buying my lease horse for me as a gift..I never asked for it. But, I am extremely glad he didn't buy her before he died, because I would've had no way to pay for it myself, and my mum sure as hell didn't have the money to pay for everything. As much as I still want my own horse, I know that I wouldn't have a vehicle to drive, the house I live in, or any other extras that I have now if I were to have one.
I took a house/dog-sitting job from my aunt to pay my lease of a new horse until I leave for college..Would I rather spend that money on cigarettes, fun, extras, etc? **** right I would, but I know I wouldn't be riding at all right now if I had. My mum told me I could deal without a horse for 3 months and she wouldn't pay for it since I "quit" on Lucky because I didn't like her new owner..I told her I couldn't continue riding Lucky if I was going to have to pay $20 a ride just to retrain her everytime I got on and was proactive looking at people I knew about leasing their horses that weren't being used to spend that $300 I got for house-sitting on before I spent it on items that weren't a necessity (for me).

Point is..the more you beg and sound ungrateful for getting lessons, the less chance you'll have to ride at all. I wouldn't be surprised if your parents pulled you from your lessons if you kept up the begging for your own horse. Maybe you could discuss adding some more chores in to switch from lessons to a partial-lease on a nicely-broke horse. But if they say no, don't continue to bug them, just let it go and pick up some extra chores before they ask you to do them (if you know how to do it right, that is). They might see that as responsibility and incentive to move up a little, in which they might look at as gratefulness and want to do something extra on their part to give you some more happiness.
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post #12 of 65 Old 07-27-2012, 11:50 AM
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There are a lot of little odd jobs kids can do to earn money. Gardening help is one of my favorites, especially with harvesting coming up. In the spring, you can plant flower beds "$20 a garden!" Mowing lawns, raking leaves, trimming and weeding... it is a great way to earn extra cash.

Join 4H and do the oddball stuff. Enter photos, and paintings, and artwork, and STUFF in all the county and state fairs. Ribbons always got me about $2-5 each. Plus it is FUN.

Start getting yourself on a budget. Save every little penny you find(Pennies spend the same!) and WORK for your goal.

"WORK" does not equal "JOB".

I know many people who have jobs that don't work(lazy jerks) and many people who work HARD that don't have jobs(deserve the jobs of the first group).

And of course, as HARD as it is to wait, it might take you a few years to get to your goal. The wait is worth it if it means that much to you. And the harder you work, the greater the end result will feel.

As for the "Free Horse" thing. There is no such thing. ;)
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post #13 of 65 Old 07-27-2012, 11:52 AM
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Originally Posted by LadyDreamer View Post
As for the "Free Horse" thing. There is no such thing.
Amen to that! My last two horses were 'free', and they're the ones who have cost me the most!
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post #14 of 65 Old 07-27-2012, 11:53 AM
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Neon, I don't know how old you are, but I'd like you to do something for yourself. Please print out your posting and put it in your diary or wherever you keep your treasures. Take it out every year on your birthday and read it.
When you start having the same reaction to it that many of the other posters on this thread are having, might be ready to get a horse.

Right now you just sound very young. The reasons you want a horse sound immature.
It might be eye-opening for you to see how your thinking matures as you grow up.

I'm not a complete idiot--there are parts missing!

What you have become is the price you paid to get what you used to want.
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post #15 of 65 Old 07-27-2012, 11:54 AM
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Reality check

Originally Posted by NeonSnap View Post
So, I'm sure that every horse lover has a dream.. to own a horse. I do too, and unfortunately my parents said no. Of course they did, because horses are expensive to take care of. The horse I want is for free, but if it ends up being that I don't like him, then there is another Thoroughbred gelding I fell in love with.

Okay so you have a freebie and a fall back plan? Awesome, good for you. Except one thing. Free is never ever free when you are talking about horses. You are likely inheriting someone elses headache OR with this unfortunate economy, someone's heartache because they can't afford him/her any more. Which translates into poorly cared for horse which can drain someones bank account real fast. So once the freebie horse doesn't meet expectations we now gravitate to one that costs money to buy. See the problem here?

Originally Posted by NeonSnap View Post
I understand the big work and effort into bringing a horse into the family and paying for board, feed, and vet/farrier bills.

I'm pretty sure you don't even remotely have an understanding of this. Because this is not the *only* thing your folks have to take into account. Not only are you asking them to be saddled with this for your "enjoyment", somehow they have to make everything else work also. Like cars for employment, insurance, rent/mortgage, electricity, water, food, your future education, clothes, etc and that's just the stuff coming off the top of my 50 year old, very sleepy brain this morning.

Originally Posted by NeonSnap View Post
I'm far too young to work and have a job, so please don't tell me to get a job and work as much as I can.

Define far too young? Newspaper routes, yard work, farm work. Work at the barn where you take lessons. Etc, etc. You want something? Don't expect someone to hand it to you just because you want it.

Originally Posted by NeonSnap View Post
I'm trying to find very good ways to convince my parents within a year.

Stop convincing and start showing by doing?

Originally Posted by NeonSnap View Post
I would love to have a horse because it would be a wonderful experience and filled with joy.
It would teach me tons of responsibility also.

Learn responsibility by going for what you want and not expecting it to be given to you just because you think you want it. These "wonderful" experiences filled with joy are expensive! Prove to them you have what it takes to have earned it.

Originally Posted by NeonSnap View Post
It's just my parents think I'm being ungrateful for what I have. They pay money for my riding lessons and I thank them every day for that and try to work as hard as I can when they ask me to do chores.

Then stop making them ask. Do them on your own. Show you ARE responsible by taking action instead of waiting for them to ask you. You are VERY lucky in this harsh economy that they have the extra they are willing to give to you for lessons at all.

Originally Posted by NeonSnap View Post
They say that I'm very ungrateful for wanting a horse.
I love my parents but need huge help on how to convince them or at least make them think about getting a horse.
I'm willing to work but the problem is is that I don't want to walk dogs or clean people's yards unless I know them, and I only know 4 houses where I live.

And here-in lies the problem. You want to dictate what you will and will not do. Unfortunately for you, life isn't like that. NOW ... your personal safety should be at the top of your list, so being cautious is not wrong in seeking out extra work. However, I'd suggest you get with your parents and devise a plan of action where you can take on extra work safely.

None of this is going to "convince" them of anything. The convincing starts with you and it's not the words, it's the action. Even after all of this they may not be able to afford what you want, but then in the end, YOU can afford what you want. It may take you years. That is just the way life works.

Last edited by BBBCrone; 07-27-2012 at 11:56 AM.
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post #16 of 65 Old 07-27-2012, 11:59 AM
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Hi I am pushing 50 and just starting lessons soon
I have always wanted a horse too when I was your age too
I never got my horse but I did have riding lessons. I went to the
local stable for trail rides and in exchange for riding I was a stable hand
I rode my cousins horses. When I was 15 I looked after 3 horses
I rode 2 of them fed them cleaned the stall but I did not have to
pay for the food ,bedding, vet bills or tack It was a win win for the owner
and me, I had lessons when I was younger too
I am starting lessons soon, I know this is costly too

The horse is the cheap part
there are lessons, food, bedding, board, tack, grooming supplies, vet and farrier
bills and more
You sound ungrateful to your parents
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post #17 of 65 Old 07-27-2012, 12:02 PM
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My kids were lucky ones. I have horses and love them, so they didn't have to beg for horses, as they are part of our life. However, I have one daughter with a bit of an attitude, and we've been through a few horses trying to find one that really suits her well. She has become a little girl who expects me to fix things for her, or just buy another horse. She was told last week, that this is the last horse, make it work or ride the old arab gelding that she hates riding, and if she ever wants another horse, she'll have to buy it herself. She was also told that she needed lessons, since she won't listen to what I say, and that she'd better hurry up and get a job to pay for them. She has a job already and is doing well, also doing well in her lessons. She's 11. If she can work to earn what she wants, I'm pretty sure you can too.
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post #18 of 65 Old 07-27-2012, 12:06 PM
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I wanted a horse for as long as I could possibly remember. I asked my parents every year, all the time. I offered to help work around the barn to defray costs of board, vet, farrier, etc. Didn't matter...too much work, too much expense, too much commitment. Never happened. I didn't get my first horse until after I put myself through college, got a good job, and saved for a couple years.

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post #19 of 65 Old 07-27-2012, 12:13 PM
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I would wait, especially if you think you can get one horse and if you dont like it trade it for another. If you dont like the horse and want to trade it for another, it makes me wonder what you would not like about the horse that would make you want to trade it for another. Horses take a lot of ground work as well as work in the saddle, so if it is their actions you dont like then maybe you should consider becoming more familiar with horses and how to work with them. Like someone said.. maybe continue taking lessons.

I took lessons before I bought my horse and I bought her my senior year of high school. I started working my sophomore year as soon as I was old enough and I saved my money. When I bought my horse I knew my job was secure, I in fact still work there while I am going to college. Where my parents live is not zoned for horses so I ended up boarding her with the family that was teaching me how to ride, it worked out well because they helped me work with Lady on the things she needed help with. I guess I am saying that if you are getting lessons maybe that is enough for now until you can take up the responsibilty yourself. A horse would be a major responsibility on your parents side not just yours and its much more then just getting a dog or something like that. Just take it slow and take complete advantage of the lessons :)

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post #20 of 65 Old 07-27-2012, 12:47 PM
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I'm a parent who bought a horse for my 9 year old. So, let me tell you the reality of horse ownership from my perspective.

My daughter asked for riding lessons. Luckily she had two things going for her 1) parents who believe in supporting her interests and can afford to do it and 2) a horse crazy Mom. She started taking lessons and proved her dedication by never complaining when her trainer worked her hard. She never complained that it was too hot or too cold. She LISTENED to her trainer and worked hard to absorb every bit of knowledge. She was 7 years old. She started checking out books from the library about horse care and really proved to us that this was NOT a passing fancy.

One year into lessons, she started showing on the school horses. Her dedication and focus to her sport really impressed her Dad and I. Our BO alerted us to an opportunity to lease or buy a sweet 7 year old AQH mare. After discussing costs and responsibilities, we chose to lease Acey first. This allowed us to evaluate the horse and with our trainers help determine if she was the right partner for Kitten.

We leased for 9 months. Kitten did ask if it was possible for us to buy Acey for her. Her Dad and I explained that owning a horse was twice as expensive as leasing one. We would have to see. Kitten began offing her own money to pay for play day entries and stuff for Acey. It wasn't much, but the fact that she offered without prompting told us a lot. After running the numbers, we decided that we could afford a horse, it wasn't easy and Kitten had to give up some other luxuries, but it was workable.

We have now owned a horse for almost 4 months. It is EXPENSIVE. Between vet bills, board fees, show fees, and other expenses, we probably spend around $700 per month to support my daughters horse. That is more than my car payment! Heck, it's more than the mortgage payment on our first home. We have probably spent close to $10,000 in the past year just on tack, show clothes, horse care products and trainer fees.

I don't regret it because my daughter never expected it and she KNOWS the sacrifice we are making as a family. She never complains and is the first to volunteer to take on a task.

This ONLY works because the whole family is dedicated to her success and Acey's well-being. A young child who cannot drive and cannot "work" is dependent upon her parents when it comes to horse ownership. If your parents are not on board from the start, then I cannot see it working.

You need to learn patience. Don't set unrealistic deadlines and lower your expectations. You are NOT entitled to own a horse, if you want one, PROVE to your parents with ACTIONS not words that you can handle the hard work an responsibility of horse ownership. You may still never obtain your goal until you are grown...learn to accept that possibility.
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Last edited by HorseMom1025; 07-27-2012 at 12:51 PM.
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