How do I deal with this?

       The Horse Forum > Keeping and Caring for Horses > Horse Talk

How do I deal with this?

This is a discussion on How do I deal with this? within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category
  • I'm having severe anxiety while watching my daughter ride horses

Like Tree3Likes
  • 3 Post By AlexS

LinkBack Thread Tools
    02-20-2013, 02:16 AM
How do I deal with this?

I have written about this before, it has gotten better, but she is still a little monster (in my eyes).

This fifteen year old girl in my equestrian team is still driving me nuts. I had moved to NY for a little while, and I hear she had come to a very fine line of getting kicked out for her laziness, rude behavior, and ill mannerisms. Somehow she rebounded and is able to stay, despite her snark and back talk.

Whenever she is handling a horse, I can't focus on anything else because I'm afraid she, the horse, or someone else are going to get hurt. She is heavy handed with the horses while riding and on the ground. For example, Brown was confused by her lack/poor cuing. She took it upon herself to start yanking on the lead rope. Thankfully the leadrope came undone (I just did a quick square knot because both halter and leadrope are mine, and I don't have a clip yet). The halter we normally use doesn't have excess knots and is softer/more worn than mine which is stiffer, and has large knots on the nose band. I have seen her yank his nose, and the other horse's nose, as a means of discipline multiple times. Makes me cringe.

She is not very gentle in the horse's mouths. She is very in it and has more contact than necessary on a shanked bit. She rides like you would english on a western bit, and you can see the horse in question, in this reference, Brown, gaping his mouth and evading the bit. He tucks his head in and sometimes shakes it. I know when I get too into his mouth accidentally he will toss his head.

She was riding bareback and all I saw while she was riding were very "live" hands. They weren't steady and they were pulling slightly on the horse's mouth. My instructor had told her once to get out of another horse's mouth, as he has nervous issues and or needs a new bit, and it is also a curb, but not as long as Brown's. But she was still in his mouth.

I told her the mechanics of the shank, saying its not like a snaffle which has 1:1 ratio of pressure. You need to be on looser reign. It got ignored.

She has actually gotten yelled at publically for being in another horse's mouth, when the owner caught her doing it. Yet it doesn't seem to change anything.

The worst part is she was showing another greenie who is her friend how to do stuff. I -really- don't want to deal with another sass brat who doesn't listen and thinks all horses are good for is running them...

I have been told not to argue with her because I am an adult, and she is the child, and I am in the wrong for arguing with a child. But how in the living hell can I get through to her? It is driving me nuts and I feel like I'm having an anxiety attack watching and waiting for the day she serious @#)*$ up one of the horses.
Posted via Mobile Device
Sponsored Links
    02-20-2013, 02:28 AM
In life you will run into lots of people like this, in the horse world, even more so.

All you can do is decide how much is affects you. If she is bratty to you, don't tolerate that. If she is saying something to you tell her that you will end the conversation if she can't talk to you with manners and class. If she refuses, walk away. Repeat as necessary.

As far as the horse, talk to the instructors, then mind your own. There's nothing else you can do.
    02-20-2013, 02:30 AM
Right. Thank you.

I do intend on having a private chat displaying my concerns when an opportunity becomes available. But I fear I may be beating a dead horse, so to speak.
Posted via Mobile Device
    02-20-2013, 02:51 AM
Probably. I think you are better talking to the instructors, than the person themselves.

The horse world is rough. Everyone thinks they are an expert and if you tell a beginner they are doing something unsafe or unkind they react like they are an expert.

I haven't figured it out myself other than stepping in for clear serious abuse, like a severe beating and walking away from the rest.
    02-20-2013, 03:10 AM
We shall see. My instructor is wanting more coaches for specific things, so I tossed my hand to the pot. How soon he impliments it, I'm not sure. Or even if I will get the "position".

It just kind of sucks because she wears everyone out with it, and I think she could really benefit with a serious attitude adjustment and "training". Her seat is good-- except when its in a chair position. But who knows. It could just be that she's a teenager.
Posted via Mobile Device
    02-20-2013, 03:17 AM
Totally understand that she wears people out. Start an alt group to her, make friends with the good people, and then she will be the outsider.

Oh and best wishes getting the job.
    02-20-2013, 03:31 AM
Thank you! Its just a volunteer thing, but it would make me happy. : ) something to strive for.

Thank you again, hopefully everything sorts out.
Posted via Mobile Device
    02-20-2013, 10:44 PM
Who does the horse belong to? If it wasn't hers, I'd expect the owners to be upset at the treatment. I'd slap anyone who deliberately continued to yank my horse's mouth when told otherwise...

And honestly, why on earth is she allowed to behave like this? Whoever is running the place needs to get a backbone and enforce some discipline. At every club/school/whatever I've been involved in the instructors/leaders would never tolerate bad attitude or less than ideal treatment of a horse.
    02-20-2013, 10:48 PM
The horse is her Grandmother's. Her mother goes to practices, but isn't very horsey. But she is generally the disciplinarian. We aren't an official organization, just a group of volunteers. She has actually gotten yelled at, and disciplined (and almost punched in the face by myself) quite a bit. But the instructor gives her the benefit of the doubt because she has good days, and bad. And I've heard him say that she has gotten better, so that's part of the reason he let's her stick around.

Quick Reply
Please help keep the Horse Forum enjoyable by reporting rude posts.

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Does anyone else deal with this? Sinbad Love Rider Wellness 5 06-06-2012 10:24 PM
Well, it looks like a done deal... Starlite Horse Talk 7 02-25-2011 04:55 PM
why does it have to be such a big deal? Jubilee Rose Trail Riding 48 07-27-2009 06:55 AM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:26 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0