How do I do it?
 
 

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How do I do it?

This is a discussion on How do I do it? within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

     
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        01-07-2009, 10:18 PM
      #1
    Yearling
    How do I do it?

    Im not sure where I should have put this but move it if you have to!

    Im unsure on how to explain to my non-horsie mother that inexprienced riders shouldnt train a green horse. I have been riding for 3 years I can walk/trot, I know my diaganols, I can keep my seat pretty good but I'm not very confident in myself and I think its rubbing off on my pony Abby.

    Ever since I have bought her we have been having trouble with her. Yeah she is very sweet but undersaddle and lounging its a differnent story. I don't feel exprienced enough to keep training her and Im a bit of a push over which doesnt help much either.

    We were called up one afternoon and told to come out and have a look at her so we did. We had her old owners come out and have a look at my old horse Chester a while ago so I already knew him. He tacked her up basicly through the saddle on her, she just stood there. His daughter hopped on, walked around, then went to trot and she kept trying to buck. We were told that her teeth needed floated. Then he brings her in the round yard and I have a rider, when I get on she puts her head down and backs up, kick her foward and walks foward but is always trying to put her head down. Then each time I try to get her into a trot she kicks out, I get her into a trot and her ears back. After she bucks with me on her, he gets on, canters her and then she rears, he canters her back, gets off and shows us her girth chaffing and saddle sore. Then his daughter gets on bareback, she has her ears pinned back and kicking out.

    Then he starts talking and saying how if we buy her he will give us free lessons and will keep training her. I didnt like this idea but my parents sure fell for it! The reason why I didnt want him to train me was because I want to do some small Dressage shows and he is a stockman.

    Went home and had 2 hours to decide. Ended up saying no but then my parents went and said "But she is already on the propety we want to keep our horses" and "but he will keep training her" so I told them to decide. Still feel stupid for saying that!

    And here I am. I have a pony that I can't control and don't ride. So back to my question. How do I explain to Mum that Green horses and Green riders don't go well together.

    Sorry for it being so long!
         
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        01-07-2009, 10:25 PM
      #2
    Started
    Aww... that is really hard. Abby sure sounds like a handful and perhaps is a little too much for you right now, until you get more experience. Could you simply sit down with your parents and explain to them calmly and rationally what is on your mind. Be completely honest and say that you really don't feel comfortable with her. Is there any way you can ride a different horse to help boost your confidence and get you going?

    Good luck and let us know how it goes.
         
        01-07-2009, 10:30 PM
      #3
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jubilee Rose    
    Aww... that is really hard. Abby sure sounds like a handful and perhaps is a little too much for you right now, until you get more experience. Could you simply sit down with your parents and explain to them calmly and rationally what is on your mind. Be completely honest and say that you really don't feel comfortable with her. Is there any way you can ride a different horse to help boost your confidence and get you going?

    Good luck and let us know how it goes.
    The thing is I have tried and they say that they disagree, well my Dad does anyway. They have a local riding school I could possible go to. Thankyou and I will let you no!
         
        01-07-2009, 11:09 PM
      #4
    Trained
    This is the pony that you've posted about before, right? The one that's causing you troubles and troubles... OK, so seems like you have a few options:
    1. Don't ride Abby. Don't work with her. If your parents ask, tell them why. Maybe they'll get fed up with putting money out for something nobody is benefiting from.
    2. Take your parents up on the local riding school -- maybe you can ride a different horse and someone more experienced can ride Abby until she's ready for you and vice versa.
    3. Be a dutiful daughter, keep working with Abby until you are frustrated and miserable and fed up and maybe Abby gets the same way and one day somebody gets hurt.

    I'm all for keeping on trying, but if this horse isn't good for you, why would your parents keep pushing the issue? Perhaps they think you are not giving it enough effort or enough time or enough something? I don't know. What's their reasoning?

    If your parents don't have horse experience what are they basing their advice / decisions on? Is there someone else around that has more experience that could be an intermediary between you and your folks?

    The other thing you could try, is thanking them for the opportunities you've had to get to where you are with horses, that's it's been a wonderful learning and growing experience and you enjoy it and you want it to continue to be a positive thing. Unfortunately, this was a poor decision and those things happen. So, let's fix it and try again...

    Hmmmm... just depends how your folks need to hear it and whether you are hearing what they want you to as well.
         
        01-07-2009, 11:18 PM
      #5
    Started
    Sorry I couldn't be of more help, but it looks like northernmama has lots of good advice. I agree, about getting an "intermediary" who knows a lot about horses to talk to your parents about it. Maybe just explaining to them that someone is going to get hurt. Oh boy .... its really a tough situation.
         
        01-07-2009, 11:28 PM
      #6
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jubilee Rose    
    Sorry I couldn't be of more help, but it looks like northernmama has lots of good advice. I agree, about getting an "intermediary" who knows a lot about horses to talk to your parents about it. Maybe just explaining to them that someone is going to get hurt. Oh boy .... its really a tough situation.

    No need to be sorry! That did help, Thankyou.
         
        01-07-2009, 11:34 PM
      #7
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by northernmama    
    This is the pony that you've posted about before, right?
    Yes, I posted about her kicking and some other proplems.

    The one that's causing you troubles and troubles... OK, so seems like you have a few options:
    1. Don't ride Abby. Don't work with her. If your parents ask, tell them why. Maybe they'll get fed up with putting money out for something nobody is benefiting from.
    2. Take your parents up on the local riding school -- maybe you can ride a different horse and someone more experienced can ride Abby until she's ready for you and vice versa.
    3. Be a dutiful daughter, keep working with Abby until you are frustrated and miserable and fed up and maybe Abby gets the same way and one day somebody gets hurt.

    I'm all for keeping on trying, but if this horse isn't good for you, why would your parents keep pushing the issue? Perhaps they think you are not giving it enough effort or enough time or enough something? I don't know. What's their reasoning?
    I had a horse before her that didnt quite work out because he had been off work for sometime and I never had the confidence to hope on him. They think since this is my second bad horse Im never going to find that I like and that 'there all the same' :roll:

    If your parents don't have horse experience what are they basing their advice / decisions on? Is there someone else around that has more experience that could be an intermediary between you and your folks?
    I have no idea, its not my mother that is saying these things its more my Dad and we don't get along very well so maybe he is just saying those things to upset me, he tells me what to do alot while I'm around Abby I have no idea where he is getting some of the things he comes out with but who ever is telling him needs a slap around the head. The only person I can think of is my Uncle and a instructor.

    The other thing you could try, is thanking them for the opportunities you've had to get to where you are with horses, that's it's been a wonderful learning and growing experience and you enjoy it and you want it to continue to be a positive thing. Unfortunately, this was a poor decision and those things happen. So, let's fix it and try again...

    Hmmmm... just depends how your folks need to hear it and whether you are hearing what they want you to as well.
    Thankyou!
         
        01-07-2009, 11:46 PM
      #8
    Trained
    Do you have any friends who ride? If you could find someone with a bit more experience to come and give you a hand sometimes with her, it could help things. Or maybe, get your parents to watch you riding her and see what happens, then with someone more experienced so they can see the difference.
         
        01-08-2009, 02:02 AM
      #9
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by wild_spot    
    Do you have any friends who ride? If you could find someone with a bit more experience to come and give you a hand sometimes with her, it could help things. Or maybe, get your parents to watch you riding her and see what happens, then with someone more experienced so they can see the difference.
    No I don't have any friends that are interested in horses. Thanks for the advice!
         
        01-08-2009, 09:37 PM
      #10
    Trained
    CrazyC -- I really doubt that your Dad is saying stuff to purposefully hurt you, but sometimes things certainly can seem that way.

    Anyway, maybe you can talk to your mom and your uncle about it and get a better feel for your Dad's side? It will be easier to get through this if you can try to see what your Dad is trying to accomplish.

    And then also if your Dad can see what your concerns are, maybe from your uncle or the instructor...

    It's often hardest to communicate with someone that you see all the time. I don't mean just talk, but actually understand the messages from one to the other. I would try to talk to everyone individually and then as a group. And I would approach it as "I have a problem and I'd like your help." rather than "This isn't right" or "I want..."

    Good luck. Wish I could be more help. Family communications -- arrggh.
         

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