how do I get my confidence back? =( - Page 2

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how do I get my confidence back? =(

This is a discussion on how do I get my confidence back? =( within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

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        02-06-2012, 12:22 AM
    Since you say that your horse isn't the problem then hopefully taking things step by step with her will slowly build your confidence back up. Don't push yourself and only do what you feel comfortable with. My confidence has taken a real knock since being bucked off twice by a horse I had on trial. Although I am still looking for a horse to buy I am a lot less motivated than I was before, especially since I have not enjoyed the rides I have had on a neighbours horse since then. My nerves are really bad and I constantly worry about falling off.
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        02-06-2012, 07:59 AM
    Baby steps...I had a similar experience to the poster who rode a ton and then did not ride for twenty some years and then looking for a horse had a bad throw. I now have a SOLID horse but I am not. Does not matter how solid the horse if the fear is there. I am actually relieved when something happens and I cannot ride that day but I know it is important for me to get in that saddle. I am starting back by doing ground work to gain my confidence back and then short rides in the arena or pasture. I have had set backs where I will saddle him up and go out in the pasture, get on and am off within two minutes. That might happen but the important thing is to get on. I love all of the advice that was given because there are a lot of us out there. There should be a forum here for people with confidence issues.
        02-06-2012, 08:18 AM
    I've only recently regained my confidence with jumping after a couple of falls and some incidents with the ponies I ride and it took one lesson with one of the best instructors I have ever had the honour to ride with on our schoolmistress over little fences and now I'm flying again. I have a fear of horses bucking around fences because a few years back I came off and broke my shoulder and it took all my confidence away. So when I had two falls in a row then several bad jump lessons I was in pieces. Literally I went into my room and cried for ten minutes after one lesson because it went so horribly. But after that lesson it was completely different, my confidence was back and even so though I came straight off in the jump lesson afterwards (we've decided that there is a mutual dislike between the pony and I) I got straight back on and instead of being in pieces I was laughing it off. Sometimes it takes forever to get back to where you were, I'm still nervy about using my crop even though I'm better than I was, and other times you have a crystallising moment and suddenly there's a huge improvement. You just have to wait and do what it takes to get you comfortable again even if it means having someone around with you to do simple stuff or just chilling out with your mare and getting used to her all over again. It will come.
        02-16-2012, 05:58 PM
    (apologies for not replying to this sooner, my computer had a terrible virus and had to be sent away to have everything wiped including my external ...yikes!)

    Thanks so much for the replies everyone. It really helps to know that other people have/had this same confidence problem as I do. I'm clearly not the only one!

    Since I posted this I have been back in the saddle another 4 times, and it seems some days are really good and others I am all nervous again. I am so much better with being able to handle my mare on the ground though, but there are times when I just get scared over literally nothing. Last week I had a really awesome ride and stayed on for about 20 minutes and even did some trotting, just on the lunge though, at this point I just will not go off it but slowly, very slowly, I feel like I am making some form of progress. Last night I was a bundle of nerves again, even though I trotted I felt SO nervous the entire time, such a change from the other night. And then something like 4 nights ago my trainer got me to hop on double bareback with her and of course Beverley was amazing so my trainer hops off and I rode around for a minute on my own.

    I'm getting there, but soooo slowly. Like stuck in traffic that sometimes moves forward and sometimes sits still haha

    But the replies really do help so much, I agree we really should have a forum for people with confidence issues it helps to talk about it!
        02-16-2012, 06:50 PM
    Green Broke
    Glad to hear you are still working at it, & have had some success ,just keep chipping away at it & hopefully dthe confidence will come back. It's hard after getting injured to go forward w/confidence but baby steps, & fake it till you make it are a couple of things to kjeep in mind. Sorry you had that computer problem-mine has crashed too, & I'm on hubby's laptop, & it's just so different.
        02-16-2012, 06:58 PM
    I think most riders suffer from confidence issues at some point in their riding lives whether it's from not riding for a number of years, or taking a bad fall or being "overhorsed" we all go through this. I think if you don't have a healthy fear of these animals you'd have to be a little nuts LOL.
    Working with a good trainer and just putting the hours in the saddle is what will slowly bring your confidence back. I would really check out some reading on mentally programing yourself and learning to push though your fears. I have found a lot of these techniques to be extremely helpful ;)

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