How many riders does it take...?
 
 

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How many riders does it take...?

This is a discussion on How many riders does it take...? within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category
  • How many raiders does it take
  • Riders SCREW IN LIGHTBULB

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    02-26-2009, 03:40 PM
  #1
Trained
How many riders does it take...?

Found this on another forum:

How Many Riders Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?

Western Pleasure Rider:
Oh, my God, someone fix that bulb, I have to have light so that my silver and spangles all glow to their best and so that all the highlighter on Old Peanut Head makes his nose look so smooth and sparkly. Oh, maybe you without all the silver on your saddle, obviously you can't ride, you can do it.

Endurance Rider:
Light Bulb? Do you mind, I'm trying to get my horses pulse respiration/hydration levels down to respectable levels. Once that is done, I have another 50 miles to go before I can even think about changing a lightbulb.

Dressage Queen:
Change a light bulb? Are you joking? I couldn't possibly be expected to subject myself to such a menial task. Change it yourself. Oh, and wash your hands when you are finished. The very thought!

Classical Dressage Queen:
These things cannot be rushed, but must be approached slowly, with great patience, and adherence to the principles laid down by the classical masters, otherwise the light bulb will not attain its true potential, but will forever be just a shadow of its true self. Never, ever, use and type of gadget when changing the light bulb. That is an offense to the principles of classical light bulb changing.

Eventer:
Wuss! As soon as my arm is out of this sling broken after falling off at that stone wall while riding Hell Bent for Leather cross-country, I'll change it. Until then, deal with the dark. It'll put hair on your chest. Only dressage riders require lights, anyways.

Show Jumper:
Why on Earth would I need to change a light bulb when the whole world knows that the sun shines out of my rear. Why, when I release over a jump, the spectators are practically blinded.

Hunter Rider:
Well I'm waiting for my trainer to tell me exactly how but he's changing light bulbs somewhere else right now.

Fox Hunter:
As soon as we finish with hunt breakfast, Darling, and polish off what's left in our flasks...heck we only need light at 5 AM to braid on High Holy Day. We're used to catching our horses in the dark! OK, so after we collect all the hounds, hose our horses and ourselves down, have another glass of refreshment, I'll send someone else out to do it later, I need a nap.

And last, and my favorite! Natural Horseman:
You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that it sees you as the Alpha light bulb, using "light bulb dynamics" (video set available for $179.00 on my Web site). Once you have done this, you will find that there is really no need to change the light bulb at all, but that the light bulb will, with very little coaxing from you (using patented "light bulb coaxer designed by me-$99.00 each, for extra $49.99 you get an introductory video thrown in), behave as all good light bulbs should.
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    02-26-2009, 06:21 PM
  #2
Trained
Heee heee... I love it. Everyone needs to laugh at themselves from time to time!!!
     
    02-26-2009, 06:23 PM
  #3
Trained
Too true
     
    02-26-2009, 07:41 PM
  #4
Started
Saddleseat Rider:
On. Off. On. Off. OnOffOnOffOnOffOnOffOnOffOnOffOnOff.... Whoo hoo! Entertainment!
     
    02-26-2009, 08:08 PM
  #5
Foal
HAHAHA LOL that's great! Thanks for sharing!!
     
    02-26-2009, 10:08 PM
  #6
Trained
<giggles> ! Thanks.
     
    02-26-2009, 10:19 PM
  #7
Foal
Redneck Rider:

I think I have another lightbulb around back here. Let me see, just meebe I could use this one out of this here truck, it's not going anywheres up on these blocks. Or, meebe I can use the one out of the refrigerator on my front porch.

Or, the the Rodeo Rider:

Shebang! Move it or loose it! I got me a 60 watter right here in my back pocket! I can get it to you in a mere 7 seconds, oh, make that 3! Shoot! I just landed and smashed it all to smithereens!

Or, to make fun of me, Horsegma:

OK, take a deep breath, if that lightbulb gets to moving too fast, I can always start to screw it in a little bit slower and when I feel safe, go faster. I can always do a one rein stop and bring the lightbulb around to my side if I think it's going to burn me when it gets turned on. Oh, wait a minute, did I turn the lightswitch off? Let me sit back on my backside and move my head in the direction of the lightswitch so the bulb doesn't freak out if I make any sudden moves.

(Really, I have evolved quite a bit, but, I have had those days!)
     
    02-26-2009, 10:30 PM
  #8
Trained
Haha nice ones, Horsegma
     
    02-26-2009, 10:57 PM
  #9
Weanling
In some ways, those are too true! I can just see my Western Riding cousin talking about her bling, and my fearless eventing buddies and I (well Im not as fearless) tallking about injuries and cross country.

So funny
`~E
     
    02-26-2009, 11:04 PM
  #10
Yearling
I'm sitting here with my daughter sleeping in my lap trying not to wake her up from giggling. Too funny!
     

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