How many riders does it take...? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 15 Old 02-26-2009, 02:40 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Missoula, MT
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How many riders does it take...?

Found this on another forum:

How Many Riders Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?

Western Pleasure Rider:
Oh, my God, someone fix that bulb, I have to have light so that my silver and spangles all glow to their best and so that all the highlighter on Old Peanut Head makes his nose look so smooth and sparkly. Oh, maybe you without all the silver on your saddle, obviously you cant ride, you can do it.

Endurance Rider:
Light Bulb? Do you mind, I'm trying to get my horses pulse respiration/hydration levels down to respectable levels. Once that is done, I have another 50 miles to go before I can even think about changing a lightbulb.

Dressage Queen:
Change a light bulb? Are you joking? I couldn't possibly be expected to subject myself to such a menial task. Change it yourself. Oh, and wash your hands when you are finished. The very thought!

Classical Dressage Queen:
These things cannot be rushed, but must be approached slowly, with great patience, and adherence to the principles laid down by the classical masters, otherwise the light bulb will not attain its true potential, but will forever be just a shadow of its true self. Never, ever, use and type of gadget when changing the light bulb. That is an offense to the principles of classical light bulb changing.

Wuss! As soon as my arm is out of this sling broken after falling off at that stone wall while riding Hell Bent for Leather cross-country, I'll change it. Until then, deal with the dark. It'll put hair on your chest. Only dressage riders require lights, anyways.

Show Jumper:
Why on Earth would I need to change a light bulb when the whole world knows that the sun shines out of my rear. Why, when I release over a jump, the spectators are practically blinded.

Hunter Rider:
Well I'm waiting for my trainer to tell me exactly how but he's changing light bulbs somewhere else right now.

Fox Hunter:
As soon as we finish with hunt breakfast, Darling, and polish off what's left in our flasks...heck we only need light at 5 AM to braid on High Holy Day. We're used to catching our horses in the dark! OK, so after we collect all the hounds, hose our horses and ourselves down, have another glass of refreshment, I'll send someone else out to do it later, I need a nap.

and last, and my favorite! Natural Horseman:
You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that it sees you as the Alpha light bulb, using "light bulb dynamics" (video set available for $179.00 on my Web site). Once you have done this, you will find that there is really no need to change the light bulb at all, but that the light bulb will, with very little coaxing from you (using patented "light bulb coaxer designed by me-$99.00 each, for extra $49.99 you get an introductory video thrown in), behave as all good light bulbs should.
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post #2 of 15 Old 02-26-2009, 05:21 PM
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Heee heee... I love it. Everyone needs to laugh at themselves from time to time!!!

Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged by the size of the task, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.

1 Chronicles 28:20

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post #3 of 15 Old 02-26-2009, 05:23 PM Thread Starter
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Too true
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post #4 of 15 Old 02-26-2009, 06:41 PM
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Saddleseat Rider:
On. Off. On. Off. OnOffOnOffOnOffOnOffOnOffOnOffOnOff.... Whoo hoo! Entertainment!
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post #5 of 15 Old 02-26-2009, 07:08 PM
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HAHAHA LOL thats great! thanks for sharing!!
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post #6 of 15 Old 02-26-2009, 09:08 PM
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<giggles> ! Thanks.
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post #7 of 15 Old 02-26-2009, 09:19 PM
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Redneck Rider:

I think I have another lightbulb around back here. Let me see, just meebe I could use this one out of this here truck, it's not going anywheres up on these blocks. Or, meebe I can use the one out of the refrigerator on my front porch.

Or, the the Rodeo Rider:

Shebang! Move it or loose it! I got me a 60 watter right here in my back pocket! I can get it to you in a mere 7 seconds, oh, make that 3! Shoot! I just landed and smashed it all to smithereens!

Or, to make fun of me, Horsegma:

OK, take a deep breath, if that lightbulb gets to moving too fast, I can always start to screw it in a little bit slower and when I feel safe, go faster. I can always do a one rein stop and bring the lightbulb around to my side if I think it's going to burn me when it gets turned on. Oh, wait a minute, did I turn the lightswitch off? Let me sit back on my backside and move my head in the direction of the lightswitch so the bulb doesn't freak out if I make any sudden moves.

(Really, I have evolved quite a bit, but, I have had those days!)

Last edited by Horsegma; 02-26-2009 at 09:25 PM.
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post #8 of 15 Old 02-26-2009, 09:30 PM Thread Starter
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Haha nice ones, Horsegma
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post #9 of 15 Old 02-26-2009, 09:57 PM
Join Date: Feb 2009
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In some ways, those are too true! I can just see my Western Riding cousin talking about her bling, and my fearless eventing buddies and I (well Im not as fearless) tallking about injuries and cross country.

So funny
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post #10 of 15 Old 02-26-2009, 10:04 PM
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I'm sitting here with my daughter sleeping in my lap trying not to wake her up from giggling. Too funny!
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