How to politely tell some one they can't ride your horse? - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 62 Old 02-09-2013, 07:00 PM
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: California
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For some reason this has always been super easy for me....."Nope I don't let anyone else ride my horse...sorry" There are many good reasons presented by those above me but honestly for me personally I am just really adamant about not wanting others on my horse and I really dont think I need to get into all those reasons with someone who asks. I agree that IMO it is just not polite to ask that of someone. I would just tell them straight forward in a nice manner and end the discussion so it doesnt get brought up and catch you off guard again. ;)
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post #12 of 62 Old 02-09-2013, 07:06 PM
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Ga.
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With the two horses I have now I just tell the truth. One has never had anyone on her but me and I honestly don't know what she would do with anyone else.
The second is a fire cracker that I don't even ride anymore.

Even if these things were not true I wouldn't let anyone ride my horses. I am very generous with most things but my horses....MINE...
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post #13 of 62 Old 02-09-2013, 07:23 PM
Join Date: Jun 2011
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Too much liability. The answer I always give is: "I am very sorry, but no. There are many nice stables in the area that offer lessons and trail rides if you are interested and they have the adequate insurance to cover any incidents. If you are really interested I can help you find somewhere appropriate to ride." That usually shuts them up.
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post #14 of 62 Old 02-09-2013, 08:11 PM
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"No" is a complete sentence.
If you want to be nice, recommend some lesson barns.

Other than my trainer NO ONE else rides my horse, period.
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post #15 of 62 Old 02-09-2013, 08:28 PM
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Middle Tennessee
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Originally Posted by WSArabians View Post
I would tell her I'm old school and if she touches my horse again without my permission I would not be above cutting someone's hands off.
^^^that works too

A Good Horseman Doesn't Have To Tell Anyone; The Horse Already Knows.
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post #16 of 62 Old 02-09-2013, 08:30 PM
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Originally Posted by mvinotime View Post
For some reason this has always been super easy for me....."Nope I don't let anyone else ride my horse...sorry" There are many good reasons presented by those above me but honestly for me personally I am just really adamant about not wanting others on my horse and I really dont think I need to get into all those reasons with someone who asks. I agree that IMO it is just not polite to ask that of someone. I would just tell them straight forward in a nice manner and end the discussion so it doesnt get brought up and catch you off guard again. ;)
ITA - short, sweet and to the point. The more "reasons" you start offering up the longer the conversation becomes and the more frustrated you stand to be.
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post #17 of 62 Old 02-09-2013, 09:02 PM
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Northeast Nebraska
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Originally Posted by BigGirlsRideWarmbloods View Post
Why is it that just b/c you have a horse, people think its okay to ride it? I would never ask if I could take some ones car or husband for a spin, or ask to borrow their dog.

So one of my old co-workers and his wife are renting our other house from us. We don't hang out but it wouldn't be out of place if we did. She called and told me she had repaired something (fine, it was expected) but then we got to talking and she said "Hey can I come out and ride your horse this weekend?"

I was so taken aback that I spouted off some very true but lame reasons why not, "She's a pretty advanced horse and she's kind of mean".

Seriously though, she's a 16.3, 1450 lbs Swedish Warmblood Alpha Mare, who was competing at 4th level Dressage before taking the last year off to foal and is only now just after weaning starting to get back to being ridden.

I tried telling her that, but since she's not a horse person, it doesn't mean anything. All she said was, "Why would you have a mean horse?"

I tried explaining that she's tests riders and if she sense you don't know what you're doing she will pull wonky tricks until you either get scared or fall off. (If she thinks you know what you're doing she's an angel and is highly sensitive and responsive.)

But she still assumes she can ride my horse and its just a matter of scheduling.

How can I tell someone I have a personal and business relationship with, that she is not good enough to ride my horse?
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No, you can't ride my horse. If they persist, no, my insurance won't allow it.
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post #18 of 62 Old 02-13-2013, 10:56 AM
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: State of Confusion (SC)
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Originally Posted by walkinthewalk View Post
Under these delicate circumstances, I would say:

1. I don't have liability to cover anyone but myself or my husband (as the Owners) to ride the horse.

2. Horses have varied personalities and levels of schooling. She is not your ordinary backyard/pasture pet that just anybody can ride.

3. She recently had a baby, sometimes has Post-Partem Syndrome, and will most likely remain 1,500 pounds worth of hormonal until her system gets back to normal from nursing a baby.

4. She is essentially a college graduate with a _______ degree in Dressage (what would 4th level dressage equal in a human degree?) That means she is extremely sensitive to physical signals; inadvertently giving her the wrong signal at the wrong time could end up with you "falling" off.

4.1 Annnnd that goes back to number one regarding no liability insurance

I have found more-often-than-not, if you can translate horse talk into language non-horse people understand, they have a more clear understanding, and hopefully fear, of why they don't need to get on your horse

I have been riding and training trail horses 53 of my 65 years and I wouldn't ask to ride your highly schooled horse for fear of giving it the wrong signals. There's a big difference between riding a trail horse and riding 4th level Dressage

And for that fact, she wouldn't be riding my trail horses either. In this day and age of law suits, I would simply say "nupe, you can't ride, I'm not watching you get dumped and land in the ER at my expense

I hope this helps

Personally, I'd be tempted to just print this out and hand it to her! If she really knows NOTHING about horses, this might help her understand just what she's asking. And why you are refusing.

If my neighbor had a Porshe in his back yard, I wouldn't be asking to take it for a spin....and it's the same thing except your horse is a living being instead of a machine. This woman can't tell a Porshe from a chevy or a highly trained dressage horse from a cart horse. She will need an education or she's just going to think you're being mean. Or you could just let her think you're mean. It all depends on you.

(If you have any suspicion that she might sneak out and actually try to ride, I'd make sure she knows she will be forfeiting her hands.....but then I'm just mean like that!)

I'm not a complete idiot--there are parts missing!

What you have become is the price you paid to get what you used to want.
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post #19 of 62 Old 02-13-2013, 11:23 AM
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My sis in law recently asked if she could go with me to the barn to see my mare and ride her. I just explained she's in full training, in a show barn, no one but me and my trainer get to ride her. She had backyard horses growing up, so a horse in training was foreign to her. I still feel bad about saying no, but one kick in the side and my sis in law would have been in a situation she couldn't control.

I'd politely just say no to your co worker.

My journal of my re-entry back to the horse world
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post #20 of 62 Old 02-13-2013, 11:51 AM
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I'd keep it as , "No, my horse not a lesson horse." and be done with it. If she asks again, just say no. You don't need to give a reason; it's your horse and no means no.

This is what happens when you have democrats in office
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