Husband only wants me to lease and not buy my own horse, advice please - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 31 Old 12-17-2012, 11:23 PM
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Hi Betty welcome to the forum
I agree with the others said

my husband always brings up the money part too

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post #12 of 31 Old 12-17-2012, 11:47 PM
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Hmmm this is gonna be a tough one seeing as how I'm one of few men here. Owning and full board isn't cheap and you're really loosing some connection with your horse since others are caring for it. So as for as bonding with your horse, it may as well be a lease. On the other hand owning a horse makes it your problem. 2am and it ran through a fence problem, which is now hubby's problem one way or another. Which is fine if he is onboard and is willing to make that a non issue. But it doesn't sound like it. My thought would be to lease a horse for a steady length of time, over winter especially and see how that goes. I like the lease with option to buy idea, but that may not be the horse you want forever. And be as involved with your leased horse as you would be with one of your own. Just to see how it goes. My wife personally quit her job so we could have horses. She handles a lot of chores since I work sun up to sun down sometimes. And may leave for a few days. They need to be taken care of. But we ride as a family so it works out. But I still get all the crappy chores lol
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Last edited by Phly; 12-17-2012 at 11:55 PM.
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post #13 of 31 Old 12-18-2012, 08:15 AM
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I am on the 'owning' side of the fence. Tried leasing but the bond was not there. I also tended to feel guilty if I was spending $$ and was not 'using' the horse, which took some of the joy out of it. I am much happier owning. Even on days when riding is not an option, I still love to go hang out and fuss with him, and not feel like I am 'wasting money' by not riding.
I think every couple needs individual interests, and most of the women I know enjoy our horse time with other women... I just informed my husband when my daughter and I got our horses, that "oh, bought a horse today!" and the way we set up finances ( each have our own play-money) it was not an issue. He spends his on his toys, I spend mine on the horses.

As far as buying a horse with the plan to finance him by half leasing him out..I would not bank on that. I think you need to know that you can afford him WITHOUT leasing him out, so you always have the option NOT to do that. If you NEED to rely on that lease $$ you may not always do what is best for the horse, and sets you up for issues you may not want to deal with as far as how they ride, how they treat your horse...
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post #14 of 31 Old 12-18-2012, 08:32 AM
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Originally Posted by DancingArabian View Post
How do you feel about it? Are you sure you really do have the time?

What about finding a suitable lease horse who comes with an option to buy at the end of the lease? Lease him for a few months, develop a routine and really see if you can spend the time and money. That way if you find out its too much, you can cut down your lease or something but you won't be stuck.
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^^^This is the most sensible and logical approach, IMO

And a big welcome to the forum

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post #15 of 31 Old 12-18-2012, 09:32 AM
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You didn't mention your goals in riding. If you want a specialized sport, then buying is a big commitment. If you want trail riding, entry-level dressage, little jumps, non-competitive games...then buying isn't a lifetime commitment. Where I live, you could buy an OK horse for under $1000. Nothing special. But OK.

And if it works, fine. Spend time improving the horse. Teach it basic barrels, or entry dressage, or to go on long trail rides without getting spooked. If you are consistent and fair, most under $1000 horses will get better from being handled by someone who provides certainty.

But if it doesn't work out, you can then give the horse away to a good home and lose a maximum of $1000. Our little mustang was free. The woman bought him for her husband (200+ lb husband and 13 hand mustang - am I the only one who thinks that is strange?), but he turned out to be allergic. They had one child, and wanted to have more and decided they didn't have time, so they put their two horses up for sale. The larger one sold, although some folks told me the larger horse was a PITA. The little horse didn't, so they offered him for free.

Cowboy now lives here. He's ridden about 1-2 times/month. Good little trail horse. Still gets nervous about arenas. I may start riding him (175 lbs seems a bit much, but he's stocky and I don't think 2-3 times/week for an hour each will be too much).

It isn't a crime to sell a horse. Some horses will match your personality, some won't. You often won't know until you've had the horse for 6 months. Sometimes the work of training their bad habits out builds a bond. But either way, it isn't a crime to sell the horse if your life changes. The husband in me doesn't like 20+ year commitments I can't back out of. But it isn't a 20+ year commitment.

When you own a horse and ride it regularly for a few years, you get to appreciate their minds and personalities. You find out what they are really like, and they learn about you. That can be good or bad. But if you work them right, they will get better and gain or at least hold value. And if you don't buy a $10,000 horse, you can't lose $10,000. If your life changes 4 years from now, like life often does, sell the horse.

NOTE: The husband of 25 years in me noticed a while back that my wife is less annoyed when I buy a $600 revolver I don't need if I don't get annoyed when she buys a $800 piece of furniture we have no place for.

"Make the right thing easy and the wrong thing...well, ignore it mostly."

Last edited by bsms; 12-18-2012 at 09:35 AM.
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post #16 of 31 Old 12-18-2012, 12:40 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you all for the warm welcome and great advice! I especially like to hear the men's opinions.

So last night I talked to hubby and explained my plan to see how he feels about it.

I am going to do a part lease at a local barn which will cost about $350 per month for 3 days a week. This barn has some dressage horses for lease by their owners.

Then after my daughter starts kindergarten, I will get a lease with option to buy at which point I will take on the full responsibility. So in all it will take about 20 months from now to get the full lease or purchase). That is not too long and at least I get to ride until then : )

Hubby is totally on board with this and this way we can ease into it slowly. I think I just had to talk with him about it and ease him into the idea.

So here comes my next question. I see horses in my area for sale for around $5,000 (which would be near the max of my price range). Can I get a good all around horse with some dressage training for that price?

Secondly, what are the montly costs I should budget for:

Full Board: $750.00/month (includes everything)
Riding Lessons every 2 weeks: $100/month
Ferrier, assuming horse needs all 4 shoes: $?
Dewormers: $?
Teeth floated and other vet costs: $?
Liability insurance: $50/year
Horse health insurance: $?

Thanks again all, I look forward to learning from you all!
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post #17 of 31 Old 12-18-2012, 01:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Phly View Post
Owning and full board isn't cheap and you're really loosing some connection with your horse since others are caring for it. So as for as bonding with your horse, it may as well be a lease.
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I wasn't going to chime in (although I was recently in a similar situation to the OP!), but I have to say-- my full board barn is less than 5 minutes from home and I spend time there on a daily basis. I in no way feel that I have lost connection opportunities with my horse, or that it is comparable to a lease (of which I have had several). I can see where you're coming from, but in my experience that isn't the case.

And just a word of advice-- spreadsheets, spreadsheets, spreadsheets. Every paycheck of our budget is accounted for on a budget spreadsheet I use, which lets us know which bills to pay and when, and how much "extra" money we've budgeted to play with, etc. That is how my husband and I worked out the costs of ownership. There is now a horse sub-budget and I have assured him that outside of the costs listed, having a horse will not reach into our primary budget. It also helps to have a backup plan outside of your own budget-- for example, I have a Care Credit card that is accepted by our veterinarian so that, in the event of an emergency, I can cover the cost without hindering our primary budget.
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post #18 of 31 Old 12-18-2012, 01:56 PM
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One more thing! You mention that full board is $750 and includes everything-- does this fee include feed outside of grass/alfalfa? For example, grain (if your horse required), supplements or ration balancers, etc? These costs can add up as well.

I wish I could help estimate your other costs, but in my area, full board costs less than your part lease so I'd hate to skew your cost-of-ownership estimate! :(
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post #19 of 31 Old 12-18-2012, 02:25 PM Thread Starter
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Yes the $750 includes 5 feedings per day that include hay, grain (varies by horse's need) and minerals. If the horse needs it, I would have to buy the supplements and they will feed it.
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post #20 of 31 Old 12-18-2012, 02:29 PM
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For the farrier costs, it might help if you post your general location.

Most of the full board places where I live is $450 max, and that's with an indoor arena. I live in Maryland.
The ones without an indoor are 350 or less.

So if you let us know your general location, that may help.

Your place sounds super fancy, I bet its got nice facilities (it would have to for that price!)

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