Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: ~*~ NEBRASKA ~*~
I am so very torn right now....
A lot HAS been going on lately. First off, many of you know I've been a little frustrated with Cinny. Sometimes I think he just won't "get" Dressage at all, and I'm really really falling in love with Dressage, even if I sometimes seem to rebel against judges, scoring, shows, etc. I really do like it.
Recently work has been a little slow for Robo. We came to the realization that the stable Cin is at (which I love, again despite some of my rants) is costing us way too much. Not in board, the board is a GREAT price but... It's half an hour away. So, It takes about 2 gallons of gas to get there (about 10 bucks a day), plus I have to pay the babysitter for 1 hour in which I'm only traveling to the stable (another 8 bucks). If I only went 4 times a week (how can I go less, I just CAN'T lol) it comes to $540..... so we switched babysitters to one that just wants a playmate for her kids and charges a flat 40 per week.... so I essentially am no longer really paying for that travel time. So just in GAS it is still at least 300 if I only go 4 days a week. Gah.... So we are moving him to a different stable... The owner is a dressage trainer that I have seen at shows, and she's really nice. Cin will have a better "living quarters" and I will save the 300.... plus she includes Strategy in the board price so that saves me a good 50 bucks on top of the 300. That's a 350 Savings.....
So then I found this OTTB rescue and I literally FELL IN LOVE with him the moment I saw him. Having a second horse would really thwart our intent to save money. So, I set out to lease or sell Cin and got no bites until Monday night, then I was flooded. Found some great peeps... a 22 yo college student who wants to pasture board him with her fillies and she would just play with him and ride him on trails. A 16 year old that wants to do 4H gaming (light barrels, poles, etc) which I think he would LOVE to do, are my two favorites. Haven't heard much from the 16 yo but the other girl is coming tonight.
Then I made a big mistake. I took Cin out last night...the first time since the 18th because I've been busy and I thought he needed a break..he's been in turnout with 5 other horses having a blast! Anyway, he was WONDERFUL, even without lunging. And he kept looking at me like he is SOOOOO in love with me. It broke my heart. I contacted the guy about the OTTB and it fell through. Apparently he had not informed his gf that the horse existed and even though she has many others, she WANTS this one.... so he gave it to her out of fear of becoming single...his exact words. So I thought, well I will STILL lease Cinny out. He may be happier and we can catch up on finances as with the show I pushed the budget a little too far when the railroad has been slowing down on Robo. I'll just take lessons once a week for a while with the lesson horses and save us another 300 per month. That should catch us up by the end of summer.
But this morning I woke up, and now I can't BEAR the thought of leasing Cinny out let alone selling him, and the girl looking at him tonight wants the option to buy if she likes him. I don't know if I'm just emotional today or what, but I've been in tears all morning. I feel like Cinny is THE HORSE for me, no matter what our issues may be. So now I just want to move him and keep on with the very first plan... but we really really really could use the financial break right now. And I don't want to lease him to somebody and then when they fall in love with him, which I know they will... take him back.
I really don't know what to do.... I just don't, and I feel so heartbroken and torn up inside right now.
<-------------- Look at my avatar... look at that sweet face... This was taken last night. How can I part with that??????