Ever since then, my heart, mind, eyes, and wallet, have all been at war.
There are always random horses who really catch my eye, and I develop these crushes on them and can't seem to get them off of my mind. It only happens rarely, but when it happens, nothing on earth will get me to shut up about them, and if I meet them it is a million times worse.
The first horse was just a plain little sorrel mare who I fell madly in love with. I made a little folder on my computer just to save the pictures that I found of her by endlessly searching her name on Google. Eventually, many months later, she was still for sale and a window came in in which I was able to meet her, so I did, and there was an awesome connection right away and my little imagination went ahead and ran wild to picture me braiding her long mane and tail, trotting her around proudly at a tiny local halter show, loping her around bareback at my stable, sitting around in the grassy field out back to watch her graze for hours, and the many other little kid things that I do for hours for years with horses and never get tired of doing them no matter how old I get. I had only met and ridden her once, but I had been stalking her like a creeper all year and I was certain we were going to be BFF and inseperable forever, but then she got sold a couple of days later.
I literally had a rebound horse that I had 0 connection with who needed major work who I almost completely bought before I realized I was being an idiot. Real mature, right?
After that I moped around for awhile.
Now, several months later, I am trying to avoid even clicking on a horse search site until I get a job (a more recently added requirement by my parents who have supported my addiction fully up until now) but just for the fun of it one day I go searching a few random somewhat uncommon breeds that I have always admired, seeing if there are any within my price range in my area, figuring I wouldn't find anything, and up pops this little Fjord mare, for a really good price, description totally suited to what I'm looking for. INSTANT UNCONTROLLABLE OBSESSION. Fast forward through me rambling on to confused non-horsie friends and family members about wanting to squish her cute little face (not literally, don't worry) and squealing about how cute she would be with a proper Fjordhawk, day dreaming about how cute she would be in that same little pink halter I had picked out for original-intense-obsession-horse, and here I am rambling about it further right here on the horse forum....
I would include a picture, but then who knows who might come and try to snatch her out from under me before I have the chance to meet her and fall madly in love!!!
I probably need some sort of therapy or something, because these things make me behave like a crazed little girl searching for her first pony without the assistance of any reasonable adults (which, admittedly, I spent plenty of years doing when I was little...that first pony took a LONG time to make it into my life)
Really, in the end, I do have enough reason to not (okay, not FULLY) do anything stupid, but I still feel a bit loopy. And at the moment I'm feeling a bit like a love-struck puppy or something.
FACE SO CUTE, WANT TO SQUISH WITH LOVE!
.... I really am 18 and not like 10, I'm not lying....I mean, it is 3am...wait, it's 3am??!
(Probably going to regret this thread in the morning, I'm a bit like a drunk at this hour...but I'm just going to go ahead with it anyway.)