ahh, the disire of a horse. Its not just the horse but its riding, its the feeling of being free. That connection with a horse is like no other. When you ride you are one, like each fiber of your beings are connecting and each mucle is working together to make this beautiful dance.
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I started lesson when I was 7 but when I first got on a horse was 4 yrs. Then my mom (who knows you best) She was wanting to work at a stable to get lessons and I didnt want anything to do with it! But I came out once just ONCE and I was hooked. I started working and took lessons. See my mom tricked me into it.
I got so freakin annoying. Every day at the barn Id sit and watch people ride. Id wine to my mom "i waaaant a horse" I was pathetic.
So my boss/BO Was selling a mare and she let us make payments. She even gave us a REALLY good deal. She was for sale at 2800 but we baught her at 1600 and paid 100 a month. So 16 months she was allllllll mine! Now once this show season is over and she has some shows under her belt and another tune up I could sell her at 3000.
See Im dirt poor, lol. Well its true. Im 19 and I work at the barn to pay off board and still have extra to afford tack and stuff. My point is, that if your cravings are so darn bad. There are ways to get a horse a good one at that even if you don't have money you just have to work a little bit harder then the ones that have horses handed to them (meaning a few girls at my barn who are spoiled and don't take care of their horses) but once you get that special horse it will mean more to you then anything!
Edit: Oh I also sit up till 2:00 am and watch youtube vids, gives you inspiration to go out and ride better! ^_^
From east to west a travlin gypsy found her prancing pony for now their hearts run as one...into the north