I can't get over this.
 
 

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I can't get over this.

This is a discussion on I can't get over this. within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

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        02-18-2012, 12:36 AM
      #1
    Weanling
    I can't get over this.

    Lately I've been posting all over the lost confidence threads pretty much just shoving people towards riding again because I'd never lost my confidence...until today.

    I didn't fall, but I was just crushed through my entire ride, to make it short, my coach was getting mad and blaming EVERYTHING on me. When I came up to a 3' oxer and Des shied to the right, I KNEW I was pushing her too hard, we went up in height too fast for her, she's not ready for 3' oxers coming off of 2'3 verticals! I told my coach plain and simple ' she's NOT ready, she can't do it ' to which she replied something like ' no, you're not riding and you can't do it ' ....okay..thanks.

    So I lost A LOT of my confidence there, jumped the small 2' vertical a hundred times until my coach again said, take the other oxer, just under 3'. I thought I could do it because it looked a lot smaller, I rode Des to it, good pace, fast but controlled, and she ducked out 3 times before plowing over it and snapping a solid wooden pole like a toothpick. I almost flew off but I took full impact on her neck instead, that's when I was just done.

    I don't like jumping anymore! I used to be height crazy, I wanted to jump 3'6 daily and 5 foot spreads. But now I really only want to do 2', if that.

    I don't know what to do, I jump in a lesson with my coach on her horse, them regularly showing 3'6 last year,and a soon to be student also jumping 3'6, and I don't want to be a dead weight keeping them at 2'.

    I guess I'm just looking for advice on everything I'm doing wrong. :(
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        02-18-2012, 12:57 AM
      #2
    Yearling
    You know the horse so if you feel that the pace is to fast your trainer should slow down and work with you not put you in the place of confusion I would ride the horse with out the trainer for a while so you and the horse could get back together
         
        02-18-2012, 01:03 AM
      #3
    Weanling
    The problem is it's her horse, she says she knows her better when she hasn't even been on her back over a fence in over a year. I don't want to act like I'm trying to be better than her..
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        02-18-2012, 01:07 AM
      #4
    Yearling
    Then the trainer should take it slow for you I have seen this with other trainer pushing there students to fast and losing them if your trainer keep pushing tell her You need to go slower until you feel better about doing it the jumps
         
        02-18-2012, 01:09 AM
      #5
    Weanling
    How should I tell her? Really in my heart I just want to be blunt and say ' you're pushing me way too fast and its working only in reverse, I don't want to show jumpers this year, I want to do hunters, low hunters, that's it ' but I don't want her to think she's just a screw up or I hate her or something..
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        02-18-2012, 01:23 AM
      #6
    Green Broke
    Well say that, a coach is meant to teach you what you want to learn. You've employed her. You can set the rules.

    Saying the horse isn't ready probably is not the best strategy. Especially because that probably is not the problem. At least 90% of jump problems, such as refusals or run outs is rider error and not horse error.

    If you don't want to jump the horse is going to know. You're the leader and if the horse can see you don't want to jump it, there is no way they want to either. So the best thing to say to the coach is that you don't want to jump that jump and you don't feel comfortable.

    Now you have a relationship where your instructor can't really know what you mean when you say something because you have been saying things you don't mean, and not saying things you do. Establish frank and honest communication and maybe you can fix a lot of these problems.
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        02-18-2012, 01:28 AM
      #7
    Weanling
    Honestly before this lesson was over I did love jumping 3', and I know I rode her to it with my utmost confidence, but the fact that she just wouldn't go over even when I did so is why my confidence started detiriorating. Which I know wasn't helping, I just feel we're both the most comforable in low hunters, I just don't want to seem like a witch when I say so to my coach..
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        02-18-2012, 01:28 AM
      #8
    Foal
    I say, you pay the trainer, you can tell them as bluntly as necessary what your comfort level is while jumping. This person is sending you through jumps instead of over them; that doesn't sound like a safe situation to me. If they're teaching you and you feel like you're only going backwards, speak up for yourself or find a trainer you'd feel more comfortable with being totally honest with.
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        02-18-2012, 01:31 AM
      #9
    Weanling
    I understand what you're getting at, I should be making the descisions, not her, it's my money going to her. I just don't have the self-confidence to do so, considering I had a blow up with my last coach about the same thing, and I really don't want to lose this one, but you're right, I'm not progressing if I just sit back and let her push me around.
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        02-18-2012, 01:39 AM
      #10
    Foal
    Ah. Most trainers (myself included) like to be know-it-alls, heh. If you say it with a tone of genuine concern for your confidence and safety, as opposed to frustration, they should be the professional and listen to how to work through your needs. Having blow-outs with professionals?? Find a different pro, Y'know? Being a rider, you know what you're capable of; you're the one ON the horse and a professional trainer should tell you more than 'Youre doin it wrong!!'

    Don't let one experience damper the enthusiasm you had for jumping the taller fences. It's just life happening.
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