I can't let go of a horse. - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 7 Old 12-05-2012, 09:28 PM Thread Starter
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Unhappy I can't let go of a horse.

Hi, so ... I can't get over a horse who I used to lease. He left 8 months ago, and I haven't been able to look a horse in the eye without thinking about him. I'm not kidding. I look at a horse and I think, "Oh, that's not what he used to do." or "He used to do that" ... whenever I get frustrated when riding I always complain how he never did that and this. I haven't seen my horse in maybe two weeks because I am 'busy', when I'm not at all. Just looking for excuses. I share him, so he is still getting exersized, but still...

I don't have fun riding anymore and even with a horse, I think how amazing it would be if I could have him.. :(I feel so selfish and ignorant. Please help?
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post #2 of 7 Old 12-05-2012, 09:45 PM
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You're obsessing over a horse that has never been and most likely never will be your own. It's normal to get attached to an animal and some you'll be more bonded to than others, but with a lease you knew going in that the horse doesn't belong to you.

If you're not involved with your current lease horse, why are you continuing with the lease? You're just wasting time and money.

If the horse that left means so much to you, did you offer to purchase him?
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post #3 of 7 Old 12-05-2012, 09:52 PM
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That's a tough one. You may of had "your" horse. Sometimes the horse and rider just click perfect. But when you lease, unless you have an option to buy, things like this can and will happen. But how you get over it will be up to you, ride lots of other horses and improve your riding and knowledge base in the process. The more horses you you ride, the better you'll be able to cope with different situations. Example, "your" horse does everything on your cues and rides awesome for you. You're at a show and your horse gets hurt (throws a shoe whatever) and your offered a horse to ride to keep in the show. Now this horse is hard mouthed or super sensitive. You don't have time to get a handle on your new mount before you run. But, if you've ridden 20 different horses, you already know how this "type" of horse should be ridden. So you take it in stride show well and move on to next weekend. I guess I'd use your situation to ride and work on me without an emotional bond to hold you back. I'm not sure if that'll make any sense to ya, but I tried.
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post #4 of 7 Old 12-05-2012, 09:54 PM
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Been there done that. But I owned the horse and trained him for 7 years.

Times changed, I was no longer his little girl, grew up and got married. He was talented and it was selfish of me for keeping him as a trail horse. I finally broke down and sold him to another little girl who runs barrels on him with 4H.

This was well over 2 years ago. And just recently have I actually let go of that bond and started picking up my pieces. I did have 2 horses that I moved to my new home with me, but when conditions changed they had to go back to my dad's.

It was hard, I had bonded so strongly with him over the years and he was my daily rider for a very very long time. But I am starting to bond strongly with my other horse (I was there the day he was born, we still have him, he is 10ish I believe). Just some horses you have that instant connection with, others it takes years...

I love my current horse, always have, but it took letting go of the bond with my old horse to be able to love this guy the way I should.

I actually thought to myself today that I missed him and couldnt wait to go to the barn and see him again, it has been a long time that I have thought like that about a horse that wasn't my "heart horse"
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post #5 of 7 Old 12-05-2012, 10:08 PM
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I think it just takes time. Try to look at the positive things your new horse does. You gotta give them all a chance.
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post #6 of 7 Old 12-06-2012, 01:12 AM
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Can you buy the horse?
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post #7 of 7 Old 09-09-2013, 04:27 PM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Oct 2012
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Hi guys I know this is an old post but I wanted to updated you...

I've been able to cope but of course that being said it wasn't easy and I developed other problems along the way. I have a lot of anxiety around horses so this is hard for me but definitely an improvement.

The horse recently passed away. She was taken too young & everyone who met her loved her. She was sweet and a horse who would really take care of everyone. She is reunited with her mom now..where ever she is I hope she is happy.

I have no idea where my old lease is but I hope she is well.
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