I , too, am looking for a good instructor. Number one is how well they can communicate with human beings, number two (and almost number one) is their philosophy regarding the comfort of the horse and number three is how well they use the time.
I don't blame you for looking long and hard. It's expensive to take lessons and I have seen a lot of instructors that spend WAY too much time talking; about themselves, about theory about what ever! Riding as about DOING, not talking or listenting. Keep looking if you aren't satisfied.
I think I need to listen to my own advice.