I could really use some advice.
I am seventeen, I have worked at many barns and I once had everything for a horse I had a huge dream of owning one once I saved all my money, whcih I slaved for I bought a saddle, 3 Bridles, breast collars, grooming supplies, saddle pad, all top stuff. Then they took the horses away from me and did not let me go near one for nearly 3 years(Without reason) in that time I fell into a drug addiction(No one knows about it though) at the time I was self medicating(Should not have because I have a addictive personality and my dad is addicted to multiple things alcohol, meth/crack which I hear people get hooked easily if they have it in the blood) due to family problems which I wont get into because thats not the point and the loss of the only thing I really loved Its horrible..MY grades dropped after the addiction I simply didn't care anymore about anything home life was horrible my own family pretty much disowned me ..about 5 months ago I took everything I had saved and I sold it on craigslist half price just to support my drug use I felt so low.
and recently my family has stumbled upon a large amount of money. They bought my sister whom is about a year and a half younger than me a convertible as her first car. They bought my brother a collection of world war 2 guns. this is stuff they recently wanted I have always wanted a horse..I was not supposed to receive anything they told me cleary. but my step dad talked to my mom about a month ago and decided we have good income and alot of money and about to come also, and we have almost 3 acres that they hate mowing so I could get a cheap horse so it could "Fix me". I was so excited I spent all this time searching for the perfect horse found this gourgous palomino mare , I started saving my money, I have been sober for two and a half weeks and not even thinking about drugs, I have felt very odd, Like happy?and no suicidal thoughts anymore my depression seemed to lift it was weird but I had something that motivated me, a dream, something to look forward to after having nothing for years.
Today I woke up( The day I was supposed to look at the mare) and all this changed, I didnt go they said I could not.They seem to have taken a new direction and changed their mind about the horse. Its really upsetting I now feel like a complete Idiot for it and Im tryng to hold back from blowing the money I have saved up I just want to stay sober I havent had clear thoughts in so long. I dont have any good friends or family to turn to so this is about the only thing I have.. Does anyone have any advice?
Last edited by Kylee; 07-31-2011 at 02:08 PM.