The Horse Forum banner
Status
Not open for further replies.

I don't know what to do, I don't want to lose her

3K views 16 replies 11 participants last post by  starrynightxxi 
#1 ·
Recently my 14hh mare Bonnie, has been pulling away and galloping off when I bring her in from the field. She does it on random days, and there is no pattern in weather, or her being in heat or anything when she does it. Our only idea is that she's bored, and is taking advantage of me. I'm not very strong, so I cant stop her when she decides to go. We've tried everything, a controlling headcollar, giving her calming supplements, putting the lead round her nose, taking loads of food to distract her, none of them seem to stop her. For a couple of weeks my mum has been talking about selling her. I've only had her since February. I love her more than anything, and I desperately don't want to lose her. But I know that one of these days I'm going to get hurt. We cant afford to get professional help, and in the past couple of days I've started thinking that selling her would be the best and safest option, even though it would be the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my life. This has happened to me before, my last pony Charlie became impossible to turn out safely, and I became scared to ride. It's all happening again. Bonnie is so lovely to ride, and I've only fallen off her once, and it was raining and really windy. But I've become scared to ride her. I don't know what I can do. I don't want to lose her. I really don't. But I don't know if keeping her is an option any more...

I'm sorry for the life story. I just had to get it off my chest. I've been worrying about it for weeks...
 
See less See more
#2 ·
Do you work her everytime you catch her in the field? Or do you sometimes just catch her and give her a treat and brush her then turn her loose again? Horses would prefer to just be left out at pasture to graze all day. Maybe just go sit in the pasture with her and take a couple of carrots, pet her and then leave her alone once or twice a week. Or catch her and lead her around to graze or just brush her once in a while. Sometimes if all you ever do is catch them and then saddle up for a ride they decide to not let you catch them.
Getting a little scared after a fall is normal. Just take it easy for a while. Get on and ride around for a couple of minutes and if you start to feel scared then get off, lead her around, take deep breaths and then get back on. Build up you confidence again. Or, have someone help you out and ride her on the lunge line for a couple of rides until you start to feel comfortable again.
If you've only had her since February then she is still testing you out. She's figured out your paterns and learned to get away with a few things. Switch up the patern and make her think and pay attention to you! Don't give up yet. Try some new things and give it a few more months.
 
#3 ·
The trouble isn't catching her, she's great to catch. Our horses are in a kind of double paddock, you have to walk through the first one to get to them. On the way out of the paddock, when we get to the second gate (the first one you go through to get to them), we usually leave it open, she just tenses up and gallops off. I have no way of stopping her. If we do sell her, I have to decide quickly, because the horse market is good in the Summer, and the Summer is almost over, my mum doesn't want to be stuck with a horse we're trying to sell for the whole winter. =/

Edit: To answer your question, most of the time I catch her to groom and feed her. When I ride, I ride in the morning before I put her out.
 
#4 ·
Sometimes you have to move on, sometimes you have to let go, sometimes you have to say--this isn't the horse for me.

...

...

...


...

...

....

.....


O.K.--do you feel a sense of relief, are you thinking "thank you, that's how I feel."?

If the answer's "yes"--talk to your mom about it, does selling this pony mean you get another, or will it be no horse for you?

If the answer is "no" then take a deep cleansing breath and relax. Try to find a way to work it out. Be fully committed to it--this will work, I will find a way, and project that self confidence to your pony. What about taking a week off? No horses for a bit to think and gather your thoughts? Is that a possibility?
 
#7 ·
You have gotten some really great advise already. I will just add you may try changing your routine if she bolts at the same spot, then start turning her in the opposite direction just before you get to that point. Do that over and over, hopefully you will get closer to your destination each time. It really does sound like she is testing you to see how far she can get. With horses the old saying give them an inch and they will take a mile is more true than with anything else I have ever dealt with. They will test you in very subtle ways too. just moving a foot forward when they are suppose to be standing still. If you don't correct it right then, the next thing they will be walking off on you. Good luck and any decision is obviously yours and your moms. I hope you don't end up horseless :(
 
#8 ·
Does she always gallop off at the same gate/ place? Maybe something could be spooking her. One time my shirt just was ruffled by the wind and my horse totally freaked out. So look around that area to see if there is anything thats flapping or making sudden movements.

She might also have a bad memory of that gate. Did she every get hurt around it or from it? Or maybe she got spooked badly once, and never forgot it. Horses are known to have fears like that.

Make sure to always be very calm around the gate. If you tense up, she will too. If possible, could you take pictures of the gate area? There could be a number of things that would spook her/she is scared of.

She could also dislike something you do when you groom her. It could be her body has sores that are not noticeable, or the tools are uncomfortable for her. If you let her run off then feed her without grooming her, she thinks she can take advantage of you.

Has anyone else ever tried to lead her out? if not, try to get a strong adult to lead her out.

I would also advise using a stud chain. I use them when I am dealing with stronger, bigger horses that try to pull away.

Also, just try to go sort of close to the gate. Not where she gallops off, but farther back. Stay calm, pet her, and talk to her soothingly. Once you feel her relax, make her take a few steps forward. If she tenses up, get right on back to petting her. You can even offer small treats. Once you finally arrive at the gate and you know she is about to gallop off, gently pull her forward and pet her. Offer a treat in gate.

Hopefully this helps.
 
#10 ·
like said above ask yourself how willing you are and how far will you go with this horse-and then if you stick it out with this one do only things that are confidence builders for a time so you both win each time you are together=also like said above change it up-instead of always work when you go out of the gate, stay inside the gate-walk past it-give a treat or a scratch- groom a little, take a walk (if it is safe) then let her go back to grazing. change time schedules and routines and maybe it will help? i use a stud chain on sonny but under his chin not in his mouth-for the same reason- he decides to go back out in the pasture and he is so huge he jsut goes-I am not strong enough to stop him and he hasnt even attempted it since i put the chain on him.
best of luck
 
#11 ·
Erin_And_Jasper, the stud chain is not put in the mouth. It does not hurt the horse at all, it just gives you more power.

The way I use it is I put it through the halter.

Look it up to see how to do it, I cannot explain it in words.

Never under any circumstances punish a horse for spooking. Then they will spook more, as they now relate that as a punishment and whatever they were originally scared of.
 
#12 ·
i'm only 5'2 and i used to try and lead my 17.3h Hanovarian, well he used to like to randomly take off like ur horse does and i only weigh 103lbs so no matter how hard i tried to hold on and how much rope burn i got i still couldnt keep him from doing it and it had to do with respect.

soo... my trainer told me to put the chain over his nose under the halter and also take a dressage whip with me, everytime he tried to walk a little past me i'd yank on his nose and if that didnt work i'd yank again and pop his chest with the dressage whip.

there was one time he really tried to take off and i jerked him and he kept pulling so i chased him backwards with the whip and kept making him go backwards till I LET him stop showing that i was the boss.

this shows them ur the boss and they cannot make the decisions and run you over, needless to say after doing that for about a week or two i could walk with right next to me even with his huge stride he'd shorten it so that he never walked in front of me and never took off from me again.

even my trainers husband who is a huge guy and weighs close to 300lbs couldnt get him to listen as well as i did.

this carried over into our riding and he was a perfect little angel.

I used to feel bad about doing it but my trainer reminded me, nothing i'm doing is uncalled for and i'm not abusing him and i cannot be hurting him nearly as bad as one of his pasture mates when they get in a fight.

so hope you try this and hope it works for you cuz it really worked for me.
 
#13 ·
You have gotten some good advise but I'm going to take a different position - one that you may not like but it's one that I would give my daughter.

Sell her and move on to a horse you can handle. There are a lot of good horses out there that may suit you better and I would buy one of those before I would let my daughter get hurt trying to handle a horse that she can't.
 
#14 ·
If this is the second horse that has started this I think you need to look at what you personally are doing. If you are timid you need to learn not to be so afraid of confronting and punishing your horse for unacceptable behavior. It is NOT appropriate or safe for your horse to be bolting but I would guess that this has progressed from minor behavior that you let go, to running off because she knows she can. Selling her on is up to you and your parents, but if you don't take steps to be in better control of your horses it's likely that any future horses will learn that they, too, can walk all over you.

You need to learn to detect and stop any bad behaviors before they start.

And don't worry about not being strong enough to hold her. It isn't brute strength that allows us to control animals but our intelligence. There is no way you will ever win a battle of strength with this mare, but you can win a battle of wits.
 
#15 ·
Arrow - The trouble is, I feel like she is the perfect match for me, all exept for this problem. I just dont know any more.

ParkerHorseRanch - I'm not using a bit. :| She doesnt bolt when I ride her, it's when I lead her in from the field.

Vidaloco - Thanks, I'll try that. =]

inthesaddle - I dont think anything is spooking her. I honestly think she's taking advantage rather than getting scared. There's no way she could be scared of the gate, nothing scary has ever happened to her around it.

KirstiArndt - Thanks. What exactly is a stud chain though? I've heard of them but I dont think I've ever seen one before...

FoxyRoxy - Thanks, I might try that.

iridehorses - Thank you. You've given me one of the most honest answers so far. My mum is really pushing for me to sell her, and to get lessons at the local school until I'm absolutely 100% confident. In alot of ways I think it would help, and I think it's a good idea. But I cant help thinking I shouldn't give up on her. I'm torn between my head and my heart. >_<

starrynight - With all due respect, I know that Charlie wasnt my fault. He was awful from the start. He was recommended by a friend of a friend as a really calm, bombproof beginners pony, we suspect the owners sedated him before we came to see him, and stupidly we only went once and didnt ask for a trial. I'll accept the possibility that Bonnie acting up is my fault, but not Charlie.
 
#16 ·
STUD CHAIN=it is a chain on a lead that hooks through the halter and as above NEVER used inside the mouth-it can loop under the chin and attach on the other side =if you dont have a head tosser or up and over the nose if your horse is a head tosser or tends to be head sensitive. Mostly the jiggle and slight pressure of it is enough but please please please dont use a stud chain or any new equipment without someone physically showing you how-
with Sonny who is a draft cross and i am 100 lbs-one quick snap and release of pressure is all it takes-not constant pull or rubbing or jerking of the chain on tender face or jaw.

like everything else it is a tool in the right hands and a weapon in the wrong. I had a trainer show me correct use before i put my hands on it as i am not as experienced as some of you-it works wonders with sonny
 
#17 ·
3llie said:
starrynight - With all due respect, I know that Charlie wasnt my fault. He was awful from the start. He was recommended by a friend of a friend as a really calm, bombproof beginners pony, we suspect the owners sedated him before we came to see him, and stupidly we only went once and didnt ask for a trial. I'll accept the possibility that Bonnie acting up is my fault, but not Charlie.
fair enough. good luck with whatever your decision is :)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
You have insufficient privileges to reply here.
Top