I don't want to be judgemental... - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 15 Old 10-11-2011, 10:00 AM Thread Starter
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I don't want to be judgemental...

I'm a new horse owner this year. I've wanted my own horse since I was a little girl and finally it's a dream come true for me. At the stable I board my horse, I just found out another boarder had put to sleep her healthy mare (approx 16 yrs), who is also the mother to the 2 other horses she boards there. They are in the paddock next to my horse so I've become used to greeting them when I go see my horse. It's been so hard on me...I cried when I found out. Her offspring looked so lost without their mother in their paddock. I only kown the boarder to say "hi" and I don't want to judge her because I don't know her situation and why she choose that route. But why didn't she rehome or find a rescue place for the mare instead? Nobody at the barn was informed she even tried. The mare was healthy, according to the barn manager, and she had just spent over a grand on a new puppy she flaunted last month, so was money really an issue? I can't help but feel anger. That mare gave her 2 precious babies. I don't want to dislike her and now I don't know how I'll react next time I see her. But I'm just so sad and angry right now. It's so hard not to pass judgement.

"Life is short. Hug your horse."
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post #2 of 15 Old 10-11-2011, 10:10 AM
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You know nothing about this woman's situation, except for the gossip you've heard from other people.

You don't want to be judgmental? Your post is very judgmental.

You shouldn't form an opinion based on nothing other than the rantings of people who probably don't know the whole story.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!

Last edited by iridehorses; 10-11-2011 at 11:30 AM.
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post #3 of 15 Old 10-11-2011, 10:37 AM
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If it is eating at you, why not just talk with the horse owner? Barn gossip is not very reliable.
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post #4 of 15 Old 10-11-2011, 10:40 AM
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Whatever else happened here, I'm reasonably sure a horseowner that's been paying board and caring for three animals didn't just decide to put one down on a whim or without very sound reasons.

I think it's safe to assume you don't have all the facts, and best not to draw conclusions about this persons actions until you do.
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post #5 of 15 Old 10-11-2011, 10:48 AM
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Don't assume anything. Surely you've heard the clever little adage about that.

The mare could have been 'healthy' in appearance, but perhaps she had something going on internally. Cancer doesn't always present itself, nor does navicular or founder. If you're that bothered by what happened to this mare, just ask. The owner probably had a very good, sound reason for euthanasia.
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post #6 of 15 Old 10-11-2011, 10:57 AM
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Some people are a little quick to put horses down.

I knew someone pretty well when I was a kid and she had a horse that she used to lend to my friend to ride. The horse has "allergies" of some sort which could cause a few seasonal problems, but when fed a careful diet and a few affordable, easy supplements the horse was totally normal, she went through a year with the feeding and there were no ill effects. Then, come the new season the owner just puts the horse down out of the blue and me and my friend were very shocked. The owner was very upset but said the allergies caused too much of a problem. I did not understand this one bit. About a year on her horse that she loved and rode had some foot problems, don't remember exactly what it was but again it was a manageable, although slightly more expensive (but not prohibitively so) condition. Then she put the horse down and she was really devastated. I still cannot comprehend her, she had solutions, she could easily manage and afford the solutions, but it was like she one day decided it was, just not worth it, didn't matter, and so just put the horse down. I know people would have taken those horses and cared for them.

At the same time though, its only our personal attachment to horses that makes us feel this way. You wouldn't feel shocked about someone putting down a cow that had produced many calves, horses are just animals, like cows, sheep, dogs etc, we, as "horse lovers" just put more value on their lives. And maybe this woman didn't. Many people are fine with the deaths of cows, sheep, pigs, dogs even, etc. but mention horses and people go a little insane.

There are likely to be extenuating circumstances and even if their isn't, you shouldn't dwell on this experience, you can't change it, accept it and just take precautions for your own horses, ie. if you ever need to sell encourage the new owner to contact you if they ever can't keep the horse or something.
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post #7 of 15 Old 10-11-2011, 11:08 AM
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I agree with Courtney. Sometime horse looks good, but something wrong is going on internally. If all horses are well cared I highly doubt the owner would just put the horse down because she feels like it. And yeah, from my experience gossip (in general) may ruin the life quite a bit.

If you are confused and feel bad, just talk to the owner. I'm sure she'll explain you the reason behind her decision.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass: it's about learning to dance in the rain..."

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"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."
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post #8 of 15 Old 10-11-2011, 12:07 PM
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Personally,you are being judgemental and its none of your business. If you have only listened to the gossip from others, then you have no clue what was going on with the mare. If the BO is spreading that the horse was healthy how does she know? More gossip? You say you only know this lady by saying hi to her. What business is it of yours if she puts her horse to sleep? maybe it had cancer or another illness. Maybe it was an older horse with other issues. Just because it gave her two babies, doesn't mean something was not wrong with it healthwise.
You talk about a puppy she paid $1000 for, yet you are going on this because of more gossip? That is not your business either.
I'm sorry,but it sounds like you listen to gossip and rely on it. If you REALLY have to know what is going on, why she put the horse to sleep, why she paid $1000 for a puppy so money is not a consideration, then ask her. Of course, don't be surprised if she tells you to mind your own business.
Gossip is just that gossip.. Its other people talking behind someone elses back.
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post #9 of 15 Old 10-11-2011, 04:06 PM
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Rather a horse put down than given away to a poor home, slaughtered, left to suffer, whatever. Far preferable.

I just made that call on a horse at work. He's had significant past soundness issues, though currently he's fine, and he'll require maintenance. He has not been ridden in three years. And now he's showing aggression towards both horses and people. Sure, he's only 10 years old, and registered, but who is going to take this horse? I don't like signing his death warrant, but really, I think it's in everyone's best interest...including his.
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post #10 of 15 Old 10-11-2011, 06:23 PM
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that is so very true.
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