I Expect Too Much...She Doesn't Trust Me
I'll just get right to the point here.
My sister recently bought a filly to join our small herd. She's 2, very level-headed and trusting, and I've really seemed to "click" with her. I can't explain it-our personalities are just compatible-moreso than with my own horse. Or seem to be, anyways. I've worked with her a little bit (my sister's fine with it) and yes, she's really green and "naive" and wondering at the big, wide world, but she's so, incredibly trusting and though she has her headstrong moments, she's really willing to try and learn as well.
I'm not used to having a horse so trusting and faithful. I'll take the filly places she's never been before, and she might get high-headed about it, but in a few seconds she'll see that I'm totally calm and settle right down and continue following along with her head at my shoulder.
My own horse...is not like that. She's seen who the real me is, and has actually experienced scary things with me, and I've shown her that I'm not someone she can trust. I didn't mean to do it, obviously, but she was my first horse, and in the process of me learning the ropes, I totally ruined her. The filly's current unconditional trust is not something I will take for granted, and I will not make the same mistakes I made with my horse, but...I don't know what to do about my horse.
I think part of the reason I get along so well with the filly is I know what she's capable of. I know what pace to go at, when she's had enough and how much more she can take. With my horse, I don't know. I expect perfection out of my horse. I expect her not to be scared of things while at the same time expecting her to spook at everything, and to try her hardest when really I'm not exactly asking for her hardest, and to just be...good, but...I'm just not on the same connection level with her. Basically, I expect her to be perfect but don't ask her to be perfect, if that makes any sort of sense whatsoever. I think if I'd known what she was like when she was younger, and during training, I would have a better idea of what I can realistically expect, but...I don't.
I'd appreciate your opinions and/or advice, and what I'd really like is some idea on how to regain my horse's trust. Is there any way to get it back once you've lost it? I know she'll never adore me as much as she could, but I at least want her to look up to me when she's scared before thinking she has to take the situation into her own hands.
Last edited by AllThePrettyHorses; 02-20-2011 at 06:50 PM.