I have to get this out. Bella went down hill. - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 16 Old 02-10-2010, 12:00 AM Thread Starter
Weanling
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: San Diego CA
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Unhappy I have to get this out. Bella went down hill.

Went to the ranch yesterday after the BO called me to tell me one of Bella's tumors (melanoma) had burst. We have already been down this road, and I knew it was a good thing,just messy and smelly. So I show up to clean it out, and it was WAY worse then I've ever seen it. Bella was being super sensitive so I decided to brush her down to get her to relax. I got o her stomach, and I noticed it felt funny. I looked to see a HUGE mass... and I'm not talking fist sized.... it went from her girth to her teats and nearly as wide as her stomach and 3 inches deep. I have never seen anything like this before so I went straight to my BO who has been breeding/boarding for years. She said it looked like edema, which, still, I had no idea what it was. She told me in older horses often it meant heart failure... She then told me that the Vet would be out the next day so I could have him look at her. So Then I took my time and cleaned her up real good.... the tumor was really bad, and it took 3 hours to finish cleaning and wrapping it... but it was time spent with her

I got there today at noon and went straight to Bella.... she is still acting her normal self. Lovey. I brought her over to the vet where he looked her over. He told me to look carefully at her neck.... it was pulsing. He then told me that having a visible pulse in the neck isnt normal, and is also a symptom of a heart problem. Then he looked at her edema and then hr melanoa tumors, and said that the edema, in Bella's case, would be caused by one of two things....

1) It is caused by whatever heart condition she has... He said there was no audible murmur or defect, but it's obvious there is a problem... If this is the case, the Lasix injection her gave her and the naquasone paste that I am to give her daily will make the edema go away. The end note though, is she does have a heart problem, and will need to be watched carefully, and he suggested that she be put down soon (within a month or so).

2) It's caused by a melanoma tumor pressed on a lymphnode (sp). If this is the case, my only option is to put her down (within a day or so).

Neither prognosis is good. Both end in me losing her. I think the only thing I can do is put her down, knowing that I will be sparing her pain. I would hate myself if she went into heart failure and died... to let her leave this world in such pain, and I am sure she'd be scared. I can't do that to her. She has been too good to me, I will not be selfish. It would not be right for me to keep her around because I don't want to let go. I know my heart would drop every time my phone rang thinking it would be my BO telling me Bella's down.... So, now I must be strong for her, because she has always been so strong for me, and I must let go.

I will forever love my baby girl, Bella. No horse will ever hold my heart the way she does.

Gypsy gold does not chink and glitter. It gleams in the sun and neighs in the dark
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post #2 of 16 Old 02-10-2010, 12:03 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Baltimore, MD
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Aaaaw, I'm sorry hun. That's real sad. I wish you the best of luck. Keep your head up!

All I pay my psychiatrist is the cost of board, and he'll listen to me any day.
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post #3 of 16 Old 02-10-2010, 12:06 AM
Started
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Florida
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I am SO sorry about your girl. There really are no words, but know that everyone here on HF is here for you, and you gave Bella an amazing life.
<3

I give myself very good advice, But I very seldom follow it
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post #4 of 16 Old 02-10-2010, 12:07 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Spotsylvania, VA
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I am soooooo sorry DisneyCowgirl. I know how you feel though. I went through the same thing in October with my rescued Rottweiler. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do. Stay strong for Bella, and you'll ALWAYS have her in your heart, thoughts, and in pictures. I'll pray for your strength, and her peace.
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post #5 of 16 Old 02-10-2010, 12:13 AM
Yearling
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Australia
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I'm sorry to hear that. ((Hugs))

Human toes are horses stress balls....


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post #6 of 16 Old 02-10-2010, 12:37 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2008
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I can't really tell you how hard this is for me to read about Bella's turn for the worst. I've always felt kinda connected to you two, somehow. Maybe it's just an old gray Arab mare thing, I don't know, but in any case, I almost feel like you two are me and Lacey in 5 years and my heart just aches for you.

I just want you to know that you and Bella are in my thoughts and prayers. And that I'm sure you will do the right thing, whatever that may be.

Fabio - 13 year old Arabian/Lipizzan gelding
Hazel - 14 year old Angora goat

Atticus - 4 year old LaMancha/Alpine cross goat

~
Rest peacefully, Lacey.
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post #7 of 16 Old 02-10-2010, 12:50 AM
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Indiana
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Bless you and Bella! At least in making the call and putting her down you will be in control of how she goes and be able to be there with her. Many, many {hugs} to you.
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post #8 of 16 Old 02-10-2010, 12:52 AM Thread Starter
Weanling
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: San Diego CA
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Thank you everyone for such kind words.

Wallaby- Thank you so much. I truly feel the same of you and Lacey. I honestly hope you have more years than me and my Bella.... with her having all those tumors, she was really robbed a few more years. Never take any day for granted. 5 years goes by so fast.

Gypsy gold does not chink and glitter. It gleams in the sun and neighs in the dark
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post #9 of 16 Old 02-10-2010, 01:28 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2008
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Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. It is always a hard thing to lose a loved one. Whatever you decide will be best for Bella is surely the right choice. My thoughts and prayers are with you both and I am sending hugs to both you and Bella. :''(

Always remember that feeling of looking at a big, open country over the ears of a good horse, seeing a new trail unwind ahead of you, and that ever-spectacular view from the top of the ridge!!! Follow my training blog: http://robertsontraining.blogspot.com/
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post #10 of 16 Old 02-10-2010, 04:45 AM
Green Broke
 
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I am so terribly sorry to hear things are going so bad. At least you can give her a passing befitting your beloved friend and stay by her side the whole time. It is always sad when we loose someone so close to our hearts, especially the ones who nicker hello every time you walk by. My heart goes out to you dear.

Ω Horses are a projection of peoples dreams Ω
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