Well, I was riding X factor (dutch warmblood gelding) because I really like him and he was a challenge for me. My goal was to ride him, gain his respect, and eventually show him because he has great showing potential. I finally learned to gain control of him, had my first jumping lesson on him and things felt like they were finally getting into motion. At the same time I was asked to exercise Lollipop, which I was so happy about because I was going to be able to ride my 2 favorite horses for the price of one.
Then last lesson, because X had just came back from a show the day before, I ended up riding Lollipop in my lesson instead of exercising her afterwards. I groomed her and I never saw a horse who appreciated being brushed so much. Must have put her in a awful good mood because during the lesson she was listening so nicely, my trainer was amazed! Later on though she became a bit more like her usual self and started to slightly spook and get a bit fussy. It was taken care of and my trainer gave me good advice to help me through. She was so happy with how I rode her that she told me she wanted me to ride Lollipop from now on. That I was really good with her and she needed a rider like me and some much needed attention. I told her I had been asked by (let's call her V) to exercise Lollipop after my lessons, and asked her if she had spoken to her about it (she said she would). It happens though she didn't, she must have forgotten. My trainer said that anyways it was better I ride with her coaching me so she can help me through Lollipop's fits.
The dilemma now is:
1. I wanted to ride X in lessons AND
Lollipop afterwards like planned because:
a) I wanted to keep riding X (I have improved so much on him) and continue learning to jump so in 2 years I can show him.
b) I like Lollipop (7 year old arab) she still needs training and I'd love to be the one who desensitizes her, makes her less spooky and the amazing horse she can become. I feel if I gain her trust she'll be so loyal to me.
Now if invest time and energy I could get Lollipop into jumping, but I want to show before University, because I doubt I'll have much time then. But I sort of wanted to do it on X. He's a great jumper, adores it, and I know he'll jump anything and never refuse. Lollipop, don't know how she'll take it. I also don't know if she's the best horse for me to learn how to jump on. I easily get frazzled and need a confident jumper to learn on. Lollipop is the kind of horse who easily picks up on your mood, so you better be relaxed and confident at all times with her for things to go well... something I'm not always. She'll teach me to be more confident, but...
Now I am second guessing what I want. DO I still want to show? Jump? Or would I rather invest all my time and energy and finally have a bond with a her? She is the first horse where I've felt I could actually potentially have a great bond with, you know? X has a great bond with the girl that is currently showing him, and I don't know if I could ever get ours strong enough for it to be the same. This is sort of a rant, I know things will figure themselves out, but I am such a worry wart by nature and would like opinions, advice, stories, just anything. I don't know what I want anymore...
I would like to ride both, but can't afford it. School is starting soon and I'll be riding once every 2 weeks in October. For a while I've been interested in one day doing Endurance racing on an Arabian, or cross country or something , and maybe she's what I've been waiting for(though it's reaally not big in Quebec, I'd have to trail to Ontario or something, which =$$)... uggggh, I know I'll figure things out eventually. Gosh I always have to think so much about stuff...