The boarders at my parents are great people, but.... They are very "green". Unless I see something unsafe, I try not to say anything. But holy cow, I'm not going to have a tongue left soon I keep biting it so much! Lol. I so want to help them, but since they haven't asked for it, I need to step back. sigh:P Posted via Mobile Device
I know exactly how you feel. I hear and see so many things that are cringe worthy at the barn where Hope is boarded that my tongue has permanent teeth marks lol!
OTOH, we all have to start somewhere. When I think back on all the stupid things I did and said when learning about horses I have to laugh. Maybe they would appreciate some gentle education?
Where they are green, it doesnt hurt to help when its done appropriately. If they are doing something that can hurt them or the horse, approach them and simply say " Hello. Is it okay if I show you a easier way to do what you are doing its alot safer for YOU and the horse." and trust me when they are at the barn they are watching others handle and do things with the horses. so lead by example. If they like what they see, they will come to you and that opens the door to teaching. Some people are afraid to ask for help or are shy pride does that too lol. But asking them if they want help is okay, demanding it is not. Also make sure to distinguish right from wrong. Just because they do things different then you doesnt make it wrong. JMHO
I'm at a stable with the same thing. I always end up helping the boarders when I'm out with different things, but I have to gage the situation because I don't want to unsult anyone.
For instance, there was a woman up there last time with a horse who would charge into her stall and mow over or drag anyone in her way. She was fine leading anytime else, but in order to put her in the stall, you had to let go and step out of the way because she was charging in.
She explained this to me and went to put her horse away. She said "See? Thats how she does it!" after the horse charged into her stall, and I replied "Do you want to fix it?"
I spent a half hour working with her horse before the horse finally stepped into the stall. She still rushed a little bit, but I got her to stop and stand inches infront the doorway, and only enter when I told her to.
I showed the owner how to do some exercises in her own time that will help with the situation.
I then went to help a young girl lunge her horse. She kept slapping the ground with the whip and the horse didn't care. I coached her through it with some good progress, and her mother thanked me.
But if they don't want any help, I don't offer any help. Just telling her "You shouldn't let her do that!" or "You're doing that wrong!" would have been the wrong thing to say. Its critisizing her horsemanship skills without offering an alternative. You can say "I found this works better sometimes" or something to that extent if you want to help.
But just gage the situation before you say anything. It can be frustrating.
At our barn, if we see something unsafe, we are to immediately tell the person to stop what their doing and why. Mostly that's not a problem as we are all very experienced, but we just got a new boarder that's a first time owner, and we've had to tell her to stop doing something a few times already. We are always very kind, and explain exactly why what they are doing is unsafe, and offer them ways to fix it. Our BO was said that since we are experienced horsemen, it is our responsibility to speak up. (Mind you everyone that boards there is informed that if someone tells you to stop doing something because its unsafe, you are to immediately stop until the other person explains why its unsafe). We all look out for eachother, and it makes it much easier to offer advice since everyone there helps everyone.
I don't butt in unless its something dangerous, but am always willing to help people if they ask. Most people will eventually ask once they get fed up with the behaviour. Posted via Mobile Device
I used to be so very ready to give out advice that would help the green handler. but, as I've learned more I realize how much i have yet to learn. AND, I have a bad habit of saying TOO MUCH. So, am working on just letting it roll over my shoulders, like water off a duck.
However, the other day while riding in the arena I saw a woman in a real "battle" with her lovely qH and so wished I could help that horse. She had draw reins and gadgets and spurs and was pulling him this way ad that , and that horse was thinking "up". Just a matter of time before he goes up. I talked with her casually, during which time the horse got a break. And she went on and on how he wasn't moving off her leg and blah blah. I wanted to say "becuase you are killing all his "forward"' but I just asked her "will he just go forward around the arena? What's he like doing that?" "Oh, we arent' working on that right now, we're working on him moving his shoulder over".
I got that cold wind in that reply and realized I had wasted my time and broken my rule. So, I wished her good day and left. There are SO, SO many horses /owners like that.
Several years ago I was at a little schooling show and there was a lady trying to load her horse to go home. It seems like a horse that wont load at a show brings a lot of attention and way too much "help" and she knew it. She was trying to not make a big deal of it to not attract any unwanted attention. Finally she gave me "the look"..lol, so I very politely asked if she would like some assistance.
I basically told her that I would be more than willing to help but not wanting to over step my bounds, she could tell me to go get lost. She laughed and gladly accepted.
We had the horse loaded quietly in about five minutes before attracting on lookers much to our delight. She thanked me prfusely and away she went.
But that is one of those situations that can wrong in a hurry. Some take a huge offense to help being offered. Like it is a sign of weakness or ignorance by accepting the help. Most wont if presented in a non threatening or belittling way.
It's not a big place. Just them, me, & my parents. They just trail ride, like my parents. If I do see them doing something dangerous to them or the horse, I will say something. Otherwise, mums the word:P
I know we all started somewhere, just some of us keep trying to learn. LOL Posted via Mobile Device
It's not an issue of doing things differently than I do, since that's my BIGGEST pet peeve
It's stuff that I see all the time w/ beginners ( bit backwards & not adjusted properly, clipping the lunge line, dealing w/ a pushy horse, etc.) Just that we've all moved on from there, and learned better ways.
Like I said, they are great people. But they're happy to stay at the level they're at. Which of course is fine, if that's what they want to do. But I'm sure you all can understand how I feel:P Posted via Mobile Device
Fortunately I am old enough and experienced enough to just tell people when they are leading themselves and their horses into problems.
I will show them how to stop unwanted behaviour and help them with all that I can.
I can tell you from boarding at several places that there is a world of difference between someone saying " want to see an easier way to do that?" and someone standing there watching with a look that says " you are doing that all wrong but I am biting my tongue" If you are on a friendly basis with the boarders, chat with them when you see them, it will be MUCH easier to approach them with hints. As has been mentioned several times, we ALL had to start somewhere, and with few exceptions I have always appreciated helpful suggestions if offered. It really is all in how you present it!
I'm not very experienced and if I was doing something wrong I'd want people to tell me. It's a bit different for my though because I don't have my own horse, I have lessons.
I used to always use the softest brush for grooming because I was worried that I'd hurt the horse if they didn't have a thick winter coat, but the stable owner came up to me and said that I should be using a different one. I also used to like people to check if I'd tacked up properly but I've got more confident with that and now can tack up without asking for other people's opinions.
It can be hurtful if people say things in a certain way, like when I was leading my lesson horse and he decided to go in a different direction and my instructor was saying "don't let him get away with that! Pull him back!!" And it felt like she was saying that I should know better and I was going wrong, but I'd never dealt with a horse doing that before.
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