I met my husband on an online dating site about 5 years back. I, myself, was living in an apartment in NW NJ and had been 'out of horses' for about 7 years at that point.
I may have mentioned my love of horses in my online profile but it didn't come up much when we first met other than, "I love horses and hope to have another some day".
After dating him for a while, I moved in with him in a suburb of NYC (on the NJ side) for a few months. He had lived there for 10 years and was tired of it and wanted to move to the 'country' where I came from (back to NW corner of NJ). So we went looking for a house and he agreed immediately that a barn with land was a requirement. Btw...he had ridden a horse about 3x in his whole life, even though he was originally from Kentucky.
We moved in, I went looking for horses 7 months later and he was uber-supportive every single step. Even negotiated the purchase. Whilst he will only ride if I groom and tack up for him, he will do anything I ask him around the barn and when out working in the yard, will stop in the barn to hang with the ponies for a few minutes and tell them how beautiful they are.
The point to my endless battle is, they are out there! They may not be equestrians themselves but there are great guys out there who are supportive of your passion! Keep looking and don't settle for anything less.