I want this horse, but so does she
   

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I want this horse, but so does she

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        01-31-2013, 12:02 AM
      #1
    Foal
    I want this horse, but so does she

    If this is in the innapropriate forum, I apologize. I literally looked through all of the forums, but none of them fit. Correct me if I chose the wrong one.

    Well, here's my dilemma. I take horseback riding with my mother and best friend, Cassidy. We enjoyed it quite a bit, but then I began to realize me and my horse did not click. She is extremely stubborn and distracted when I am on her, and it really lowers my confidence when she acts against what I asked her to do. It makes me look like a bad rider.

    Today, I really did not want to go. I didn't want to go knowing that I'd leave feeling like a fool. That's when my mother suggested Cassidy and I trade horses, just for the day. She rode a mellow, older white horse named Gray Guy. We were both reluctant, so I told her that if she didn't like my horse, Kelly, we could totally switch back.

    Well, recently I fell off a horse and lost all my confidence. I couldn't even trot for weeks. But when I got on Gray Guy, I felt like I could do anything. He was so smooth and kept at a pace where I felt like I was under total control, but he was still probably the second fastest horse in the class. We got along well, and in the end, I ended up just loving him.

    Cassidy, on the other hand, ended up getting so incredibly frustrated that she sobbed through half of the lesson. She obviously did not like my horse.

    She wants Gray Guy back. I don't want to give him back. For the first time in over a month, I feel like I can be a good rider one day. I just love his obedience and smoothness and he overall personality.

    I want him.

    So does she.

    Any help?
         
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        01-31-2013, 12:05 AM
      #2
    Yearling
    Sorry, she had him first. Find another steady eddie to gain confidence on.
         
        01-31-2013, 12:06 AM
      #3
    Banned
    All I have to say is that if you master the naughty horse, then you will be the better rider.....let her have the easy ride and you start seeing that you could actually learn a whole lot from the stubborn horse....I'd take it as an opportunity to learn, and if you can get this horse paying attention to you and doing as asked the your confidence will go up tenfold
         
        01-31-2013, 12:07 AM
      #4
    Weanling
    I assume that these horses are your lesson horses, but not ones that you own? Have you considered taking lessons without your best friend so that you can both ride Grey Guy? Or, asking if you can take turns every other week?

    Horses can tell when you're frustrated, not confident, upset... maybe if you swap off, you can make every other week on Grey Guy your confidence-builder, and when you're on the other horse you can work on transferring your confidence to him!

    Don't forget that you can always go to your instructor. They are paid to help you grow as a rider. :)
         
        01-31-2013, 12:10 AM
      #5
    Weanling
    As an instructor, I think it's best for a student to learn on an easy, willing horse before moving up to a more difficult horse. My suggestion, if you were my student, take lessons at a different time than your mom and friend so you can ride Grey Guy. Sounds like he's a great beginners lesson horse, while Kelly is more suited for a more experienced rider ready for more of a challenge. However, I will say, if your horse is more difficult than your friends or moms, your instructor probably thinks you can handle her. Also, it's probably not up to you who you ride, as an instructor, I choose the horses my students ride for very specific reasons, and it's quite an art matching riders to horses.
         
        01-31-2013, 12:11 AM
      #6
    Weanling
    I also wanted to say... stop thinking about whether you're a good rider or not. :) I used to worry about that, and even after riding for many years and now owning a horse who I ride daily, I would hesitate to ever describe myself as a "great rider." We are all constantly learning, so taking it one day at a time to become a *better* rider, learn to control your frustration and emotions, and become confident in communicating with any horse you get up on!
         
        01-31-2013, 12:12 AM
      #7
    Foal
    Well. That was fast. O.e

    Gray-No, she didn't. At the beginning of the lessons, I used Gray Guy. But when I found Kelly, I decided to try her out. I didn't end up liking her, but Cass had Gray and I held my dislike for Kelly in.

    Muppet-Maybe, but I'm still new to this. I need a good, easy ride until I'm experienced enough to deal with her. Then maybe I'd be ready.

    Exist-Yup, learning horses. Doing it without Cassidy? That's like ice cream without pickles! I have so much more fun with her there. That's a pretty good idea...I just have a feeling I'm not going to be able to give him up.

    Tessa-My instructor, Virgil, doesn't care. As long as we're comfortable on the horse we're riding. As said before, Cassidy makes everything more enjoyable. And my mother does it because she enjoys it, and I don't want to stop her from doing that. Virgil only does lessons on Wednesdays at one time, so there's no other day for me to do it anyway.

    Exist-Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.
         
        01-31-2013, 12:13 AM
      #8
    Started
    Y'all agreed to trade for the day and that is it. If you aren't happy with your horse, then ask to trade or move your lesson time so that both of you can ride the horse you like. You shouldn't hurt a friend over a horse.
    smrobs, themacpack, Endiku and 1 others like this.
         
        01-31-2013, 12:16 AM
      #9
    Weanling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Hazels    
    Today, I really did not want to go. I didn't want to go knowing that I'd leave feeling like a fool. That's when my mother suggested Cassidy and I trade horses, just for the day. She rode a mellow, older white horse named Gray Guy. We were both reluctant, so I told her that if she didn't like my horse, Kelly, we could totally switch back.
    Cassidy, on the other hand, ended up getting so incredibly frustrated that she sobbed through half of the lesson. She obviously did not like my horse.

    She wants Gray Guy back. I don't want to give him back. For the first time in over a month, I feel like I can be a good rider one day. I just love his obedience and smoothness and he overall personality.

    I want him.

    So does she.

    Any help?
    Read the first paragraph, the part where you told her if she didn't like your horse you would totally switch back. Give him back. It's the right thing to do.
    themacpack and FaydesMom like this.
         
        01-31-2013, 12:19 AM
      #10
    Started
    Quote:
    If you aren't happy with your horse, then ask to trade or move your lesson time so that both of you can ride the horse you like.

    Read more: I want this horse, but so does she
    Just to clarify, when I said if you aren't happy with your horse, then ask to trade....I meant to get an entirely different horse.
         

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