OP, in my opinion there are two choices only:
1. Scrounge up the money for lessons. Even if only twice a month or whatever.
You sound like you need it, and I promise it won't be money wasted. Then you can keep this horse, and the connection between the two of you will grow, as you both learn and understand each other more.
You will end up adoring this horse.
2. Sell him. But don't buy another horse at this point!! First go for more lessons yourself until you feel you can cope better and have more experience. I'm just afraid that, if you are inexperienced, any horse you buy will regress into something like you're experiencing now.
Spend all the money you have been on owning a horse, to taking lessons, and perhaps leasing a horse.
When you feel confident in your abilities, perhaps a couple years down the line, you can probably get any horse and be able to turn him into a gem.
Just my opinion. If I were you, I'd start with number 1. And save, scrounge, beg and borrow for money for lessons. Having a good instructor is the most important thing for a green rider!
I hope it all works out for you!
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