It's just NOT fair (*RANT*)
Okay, so before you go judging me..I know; life's not fair. Maybe I'm just being over reactive or maybe even a little hormonal...but I don't care, I've been upset for too long & I need to let it out.
Before I start, I should probably add a few things about myself. I've only been riding since August 2011..but it feels like waaay longer. Ever since I first saw my coach do barrel racing, I knew it was my thing. I knew I had to do it. I loved everything about it, the bling, the passion, the courage & just the whole 'cowgirl up' mentality thing. That was going to be me some day. After we had all the basics down, our coach wanted to know what direction we wanted to steer our lessons in (I take lessons with my 2 cousins.) of course, the answer was barrel racing. Although we never really got too far..it was always planned. When I bought my horse in September, it was planned that he would be trained for 2012, it's almost May and it STILL hasn't even started..
So it all started a few monthes ago in the winter time; my mom invited her best friend's sister & her daughter (E & R) to come riding with us. She knew she liked horses so she thought they would like to do lessons with her. And that they did. At first it was all for fun & nothing serious. But then R (about a year younger than me) heard that I liked barrels...and started liking it too. Of course, there's nothing wrong with that..it was still my dream though.
So about a month ago (March-ish) R started taking barrel lessons behind our backs...not that it's our business, they just didn't want us to know, which is weird. Keep in mind that this is all happening while I'm still waiting for us to start training..
My mom mentioned it several times, I was still interested in starting...but we never did much. Then E started part-boarding a horse & R was riding that barns best barrel horse (for free...??) I started to ride with them and then R would start doing barrels (I wasn't supposed to be doing barrels because I was supposed to wait for my horse to be trained so it was annoying) then she started getting better & better..all while I was waiting. "Oh he still needs work" or "he's not ready yet" was always the excuse.
Flash forward to today, they invite me to go riding with them. Of course I say yes because I generally like riding with them (when they're not rubbing it in my face) I get there and her whole family is there to watch..ok cool..then the two barn owners (my coaches) & a boarder are watching..wtf?? So they get her to do barrels & are cheering for her, all while ignoring me.
Wth??? I can't believe my coach did that in front of me, especially because she knew I was upset that she was doing barrels while I got to do nothing. It's not fair (I feel like a little kid..but I seriously just came home and cried) I feel like crap!! What makes her better? She doesn't even have her own horse! I've been waiting & waiting to start while she's doing all this stuff.
What makes me more upset is that they're secretly taking her to their biggest competition this year..what about me? My mom is the whole reason E & R started taking lessons, it's pretty much a slap in the face to me... I am dedicated, I ride even when I'm sick because I want to accomplish the things she tells me to work on, I do them but she keeps putting the training off.
I'm really confused and really upset, CAN'T A GIRL JUST TURN & BURN?!? And I know you probably are saying "you can't just expect to run barrels after 8 monthes of riding..but R can after just 3 monthes... It's not fair, I just want what was promised to me, I want to barrel race!!
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