It's killing me from the inside out.
   

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It's killing me from the inside out.

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  • I have bdd and its killing me from the inside out
  • You are killing me from the inside out

 
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    11-11-2009, 02:48 PM
  #1
Yearling
It's killing me from the inside out.

So some of you know that Junior is being sold, Rhedd has to be put down, and Bear can't be worked for a few months. So I am going to go into a big rant because im depressed and need to.

Bear

Yes, I'm sad, depressed about that, not really. I don't think I am going to show him at all this year, maybe just do fair and don't do any jumping or anything. I feel like this year just needs to be a year of learning. I want to start taking lessons and really get into the swing of things. I mean, when I ride him... Lets just say it's a tad bit scary. ;] So I'm just, eh, about Bear.

Junior
I feel like I let him down. When I got Junior, it was BAD. We weren't sure if he was goign to pull through, but that little fighter did. I promised him that I wouldn't sell him, he would die on my farm, he would live with me until he took his last breath. Now look what im doing, selling him as a trail horse for $750. I know there is nothing I can do, but I just wish I wasn't having to. This is what started the depression.
Rhedd
My pride and joy. This horse will never be replaced. He is sweet, sane, and my best friend. Haha, funny boy, he would try to crow hop/buck everyone off that wasn't me. He makes me protect him from the other horses who try to get him. I would have him sleep with his head in my lap. He would lick me like I was a piece of hard candy. Know I am sending him off to his death. Though he has Ring Bone, I know that it isn't bad enough for him to have to be put down. This is what has sent me into my 100% depression.

I have lost my will to eat, I have been in a daze for the last few weeks, I am now starting to his the angery and crying stage... Yeah...

Just so you guys know, Bear is doing awesome, you can barely see his ribs anymore. Rhedd isn't being put down until Junior is gone. And someone is coming out to see Junior today.


Sorry for the super long rant, I would be shocked if anyone read the entire thing... O.O
Nerissa
     
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    11-11-2009, 03:47 PM
  #2
Yearling
I wish I had more to say than just I'm sorry you're going through all of this. Hang in there.
     
    11-11-2009, 03:50 PM
  #3
Weanling
Why do you have to sell Juniour?
Im very sorry for your losses.
     
    11-11-2009, 08:21 PM
  #4
Yearling
Thanks JTM. I'm trying.

Because I am moving. Someone came out today and just loved him. They want to buy him and he will be a trail horse. They have a super nice place for him and I know he will enjoy just being a trail horse from now on, I am just sad that he has to be sold.
     
    11-11-2009, 08:54 PM
  #5
Weanling
Quote:
Originally Posted by eventerwannabe    
Thanks JTM. I'm trying.

Because I am moving. Someone came out today and just loved him. They want to buy him and he will be a trail horse. They have a super nice place for him and I know he will enjoy just being a trail horse from now on, I am just sad that he has to be sold.
Oh gotcha.

At least he is going to go somewhere good. -big hugs-
     
    11-12-2009, 02:20 AM
  #6
Yearling
Thanks paints. I just feel as though I am being placed as the bad guy, which isn't really helping the depression, haha, and in a way I feel myself that I am (if that made sense).

But anyways.... Thanks for the support.
     
    11-12-2009, 07:42 AM
  #7
Weanling
You can't do anything about it though. Just let the horses know you love them and feel horrible about this. I had to do the same thing one time. Horses can be amazingly perceptive about things when they need to be. Plus youve still got bear so you're not completly giving them up.
     

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