It just isn't fair
 
 

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It just isn't fair

This is a discussion on It just isn't fair within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

     
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        12-08-2010, 10:06 PM
      #1
    Weanling
    Unhappy It just isn't fair

    So this is more of a rant but I'd love to hear opinions.

    My grandparents take me back and forth to see Blue. I work during the day at a fast food restaurant chain and after I leave there I go clean stalls, feed, bring my horse inside, fill his water, groom, exercise, and ride him. I can drive, I have my license but they always make excuses for me not to drive. I own a Ford Mustang but my grandpa is currently using it as well because he totaled his car in a car accident. I work to pay Blue's board which is $300 but also work to make sure everything is clean and orderly for my horse. I've been going out everyday, only rode twice in the week and a half he's been there; the rest of the times I go out there to work and feed. My grandparent's told me today that I am going to have to find someone to take me to see Blue because they are only taking me once a week. They say I can not drive the car because they need it in case of an emergency and things they need to do. Plus they complain about me not being very experienced. I have NO ONE else to take me back and forth. I can not let my horse starve, and have a messy stall, and no turn out for a week except one day. That is the type of stuff that will get him taken from me ASAP! They said that they'd help pay the $375 for full board because it means that I won't have an excuse other than riding, which I can do once a week. First of all Blue is MY horse, I should be the one taking care of him. I do NOT want their money. I pay for him by myself! I enjoy spending time with him but they think he is like a goldfish! I don't know what I should do..things were GREAT! And I warned them a head of time and they said they wouldn't mind driving 10 minutes to the barn because he used to be an hour away. The last time they limited my time with him I didn't see him for 2 weeks. I just can't do that. He is so much more than a pet!
         
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        12-08-2010, 10:49 PM
      #2
    Trained
    I have a few questions. How old are you, if you don't mind my asking? And who's name is the car under? If it is YOUR car, as in YOUR name on the registration, you can take it whenever you want to. But, not having the whole story, I don't know how much your grandparents do for you, and how much you do for them. If they are driving you, does that mean they sit and wait in the car for the two+ hours you're there? Because that would hardly be fair. Are you paying for the gas to get there and back? These are all things to make sure you think about before you get too upset. If you are truly doing all these things [paying for gas, your horse, helping out at the house to make up for them driving you, etc, then I would have a sit-down, mature chat with them about how much it means to you to see your horse every day, and what you guys can work out to make that happen. Full care board isn't the end of the world, and be prepared that you may have to compensate some. Make sure they know how grateful you are for their help, if they don't feel appreciated, they may not want to do these things for you anymore. Sometimes, even when we do try to make someone feel important, it all gets lost in translation. Good luck!
         
        12-08-2010, 11:00 PM
      #3
    Weanling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by riccil0ve    
    I have a few questions. How old are you, if you don't mind my asking? And who's name is the car under? If it is YOUR car, as in YOUR name on the registration, you can take it whenever you want to. But, not having the whole story, I don't know how much your grandparents do for you, and how much you do for them. If they are driving you, does that mean they sit and wait in the car for the two+ hours you're there? Because that would hardly be fair. Are you paying for the gas to get there and back? These are all things to make sure you think about before you get too upset. If you are truly doing all these things [paying for gas, your horse, helping out at the house to make up for them driving you, etc, then I would have a sit-down, mature chat with them about how much it means to you to see your horse every day, and what you guys can work out to make that happen. Full care board isn't the end of the world, and be prepared that you may have to compensate some. Make sure they know how grateful you are for their help, if they don't feel appreciated, they may not want to do these things for you anymore. Sometimes, even when we do try to make someone feel important, it all gets lost in translation. Good luck!
    I am sixteen. The car is in their name because I don't think I can get it in mine. They wait but they pet Blue, walk him around, but most of the time they insist that they wait in the car, they bring something to read. I am only there for maybe an hour, sometimes less. I am hardly ever home because I work so much and take care of him but I try to help out but my grandma says she wants to do it because I am a kid and that kids should enjoy life not doing chores. They know how much he means to me. He's all I ever talk about, I got a job especially to pay his board. I try to help out as much as I can with gas, its hard when I make min. Wage and only work 20 or less hours a week. They told me that if I paid the board they'd worry about gas but everything they tell me they'll take care of, they don't meet part ways with me. They want to pay the $75 extra for full care but he's my horse and I want to do things for him and they probably will not follow through with paying it. They are not really horse people and ever since I bought him have been against me riding and owning him. I try the best I can to help but they always refuse and then turn it around like its my fault.
         
        12-08-2010, 11:06 PM
      #4
    Weanling
    I also may be a bit of a spoiled brat for not having my way, BUT even 3-4 times a week would be better than 1.
         
        12-08-2010, 11:07 PM
      #5
    Trained
    I see. Now would be a good time to write out the things you want to address with your grandparents. Tell them you would be more than happy to do XYZ chores at home, and that you'd like to do more for them to show your appreciation. Then explain to them how you do not want to have him on full board and that you cannot only go out once a week. Ask them if there is anything you can do to get out there more often, or anything you can do to get them to take you. Is there a bus that goes out there? Just remember that you have to come at this like a business meeting. Try to stay un-emotional and rational, and keep your cool no matter what they say to you. Unfortunately, they do have the final say, so you may have to accept putting your horse on full board, or maybe a partial so you don't have to go out every day. Good luck, hun.
         
        12-08-2010, 11:37 PM
      #6
    Green Broke
    If its your car (and you bought it) then I think you should tell them that its your car for your use.

    I'm all for respecting people but if you bought the car for yourself, and you pay for horse board then you should be able to drive to your horse (and pay your own gas) whenever you like.

    Approach it nicely but work out a solution.
         
        12-09-2010, 12:04 AM
      #7
    Started
    If the car is yours I can't see why they couldn't use it to do their things during the day while you're at work and let you use it after to go to the barn. What are their reasons for you not to drive? If you have your license and your car is insured and is owned by you, you are legally allowed to drive, whether or not your grandparents want you to.
         

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