Keep riding or get out of horses? - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 36 Old 02-04-2012, 10:54 PM
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: SW MO
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I fell off a bareback almost 4 weeks ago. I heard a pop in my foot and new I was in trouble. My Bo made me get back on that mare.

My QH, who has never given me a reason to distrust him, is feeling the brunt of it. If he twitches I am nervous. We trail rode today and he was a huge butt going across the field to the first hill. He was trying to eat grass and when I wouldn't let him he tossed his head and stomped he ground. I was so frightened.

In actuality, he rode the hills and slopes like a champ and dug in on one particularly steep hill. I felt silly for calling out to others my fear in the beginning.
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post #22 of 36 Old 02-04-2012, 10:57 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Utah
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Originally Posted by NorthernMama View Post
It's good that you are going to give it some time and also look for guidance from someone who's been there. I would assume that most trainers have :)

As for the hubby that doesn't get it -- there are very few that do. Actually, most people have difficulty empathizing (sp?) with a situation that they haven't been through themselves. You can try to tell him that just because he feels differently, that's not going to change YOUR psychology so if he can't be supportive tell him it's better that he doesn't say anything at all. But, ya... good luck with that. Sorry that your man isn't helping matters.
He does try to help but what he thinks is helpful really isn't. I told him this is going to take time for me to get my head on straight. I think he is just as scared as me he just does want to admit it. He is the one who got to me first after I got bucked off. So he seen all the blood and I really think it effected him more then he'll admit.
As for trainers here in Utah it's hard to find real horse trainers or people really know what they are doing as far as lessons go. There are a lot of backyard trainers and people who think they can give lessons just because they own a horse. But I am going to find someone who has experience and references. I also think I am hold off on riding Bella until I am more confident. I don't want my fear to effect her.
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post #23 of 36 Old 02-05-2012, 05:46 AM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Melbourne
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Whilst you look for a trainer continue to work Bella on the ground. Keep building your relationship and you'll find the confidence grows
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post #24 of 36 Old 02-05-2012, 09:57 AM
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Salt Lake City
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I had a very similar experience with my horse. I went through a tree and broke my collar bone. I ride Now 4 to 5 times a week. Every day I am afraid a little. It might take a couple months of getting on her only 5 minutes at a time. Its up to your determination and drive about wanting to be on that horse. And what your goals are with your horse. My point is that it will take a while for you and your horse but you can get your relationship back
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post #25 of 36 Old 02-05-2012, 07:57 PM
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Middle-of-Nowhere, Illinois
Posts: 2,225
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Why sell your horse just because you don't ride? It would be great if you could overcome your fear, but if you stop riding, so what? I couldn't fathom parting with my horses whether I ride them or not. They're pets, just like cats and dogs.
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post #26 of 36 Old 02-06-2012, 08:09 PM
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Salt Lake City
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Three hours after I wrote you the previous letter, guess what? India threw a hormonal temper tantrum and spun me off her. It really hurts but, something in me makes me want to continue. Good luck with your journey.
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post #27 of 36 Old 02-06-2012, 09:00 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Alpharetta, GA
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I understand your fear of getting on and riding. I used to go to this one barn and my trainer forced me to jump BIG when I wasn't ready. After multiple falls every lesson I was terrified of jumping and cantering.
I switched stables and stopped jumping for 3 years. I went back to riding bomb proof ponies that made me feel safe. I slowly got the courage back to jump when I found my forever trainer. Though I still don't feel really comfortable cantering.
My advice, don't sell your mare. Go back to lounging for respect and ground manners. Recreate a bond between you to. Try a couple lessons with a bomb-proof pony and a sweet trainer. Eventually you may get your guts back in check, or enough that you can walk and trot on trails.
Hope you do what you think it best. Good Luck
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post #28 of 36 Old 02-06-2012, 10:06 PM
Join Date: Oct 2011
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Originally Posted by BellaMFT View Post
I really don't want to sell her but I am afraid I'll never trust her again. Even though what happened wasn't her fault. I wish I could find some one with a super broke horse and a little understanding to help me. I told my husband I wanted to make take some lessons to help regain some confidence and he told me "taking lessons will push you harder then I am". I just don't think he gets it that telling me to quit being scared is not helping. In fact it just makes it worse that he doesn't listen when I say I need to get off.
I'm a husband.

Stop listening to your husband. He ain't listening to you.

Go get your lessons with someone else. If he doesn't like it, TS.

Respect is a two way street.
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post #29 of 36 Old 02-07-2012, 11:11 AM
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Texas
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You said earlier that the accident wasn't your mare's fault? Just keep reminding yourself that. I have some degree of fear before almost every ride. I have to remind myself that my boy has never done anything to make me mistrust him. A couple weeks ago I had a day when I didn't think I could even get on. Usually after about 10 minutes of riding I'm A-ok. You're not alone in being fearful, a lot of adult riders go through this.

Remind yourself how many good rides v. bad rides you've had. I actually figured out the good ride v. bad rides stats to put it in perspective for myself. Out of about 252 rides about 4 were bad. One of those was totally my fault, 2 were spooks which I can't blame him for (I would run at a large falling branch, too!!), and only 1 was him being naughty. So how about your horse? Think about all the rides that went right and how good your mare was for those.

I also have a trainer who is very understanding of my issues. I was feeling anxious at my last lesson, so she found exercises we could work on at the walk. So I would try to search out a trainer like that.

I agree with everyone else, take your time! Riding for five minutes is better than not getting on at all. Do you have a round pen you can just putter around in for ten minutes a few times a week when you're up to it? Maybe just do ground work for a while?

I would think long and hard about giving up my horse. Personally, even if I didn't ride anymore, I would keep my horses. I get a lot out of just being around them. I call horses "nature's xanex". From the ground, anyway!
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post #30 of 36 Old 02-07-2012, 11:18 AM
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: MN
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Originally Posted by Jessabel View Post
Why sell your horse just because you don't ride? It would be great if you could overcome your fear, but if you stop riding, so what? I couldn't fathom parting with my horses whether I ride them or not. They're pets, just like cats and dogs.
Oh sorry. Horses are NOT pets.
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