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Lauren's Dream... (Please Take A Few Moments To Read.)

3K views 27 replies 13 participants last post by  Equus_girl 
#1 ·
For as long as I can remember, I have ridden horses. My life has completely revolved around them. For some people, horseback riding is a hobby, for me, it is life. I cannot even begin to imagine a world without horses, they are such a enormous part of me. I would give anything, trade anything, do anything, in order to own my very own horse. I would walk to the ends of the Earth and back again...you get the point. :P

Unless you have spent many Saturday mornings mucking out an entire barn of horse stalls, or listening to the friendly nickers as the horses call to be brought inside, you will rarely understand the admiration for these fascinating creatures. It goes beyond love, to a new level, it becomes life. For some of us, we are blessed with the ability to own a horse, for others, it is all we can ever dream of. I am one of them. My parents will never be able to understand just why I love horses so much, and I will never be able to tell them or make them understand. It just is that way. They teach you so many things, they allow you to experience so much, but those experiences can only go so far when you do not own your own horse.

I often recall the long vacations I spent riding my cousin's horses. While she was away at college, I would train them, ride them, care for them. I would give up everything just to be around them. There was always that era of sadness though, why couldn't I have my very own horse? Was I not meant to be happy? Hmn...and what about Saturdays? Each and every Saturday, rising, bright and early, to go to the local horse stable where I volunteer. I have worked there, determinedly for the past four years of my life. Learning everything about these magnificent animals that I possibly could, riding all the lesson ponies, but never learning the most amazing lesson to be learned...horse ownership. What about all those endless trail rides with Nicole when I was younger? My best friend from Elementary School, we used to go on so many trail rides around our area. More importantly, to this day, the countless, extensive research I perform on horse tack, breeds, and care information, not to mention the actual hands-on experience. What about that? It's not an infatuation... it's just life.

How can my parents sit there and say I'm not dedicated? How can they say it's just a passing phase? I love them, and there is one thing that separates me from all the girls down at the barn. I'm down-to-Earth. I understand the issues with the economy, and how money is tight. I respect that, and I wish I could do something to help, but it is out of my control. The girls at the barn take everything for granted. They don't understand just how lucky they really are. I would be willing to sacrifice anything to own a horse, I would make time to be with him/her, I would invest every penny I made...

I am not asking for a million dollar animal, just a best friend. I understand the cost, the commitment involved. I will work to get discounted boarding, I will work to maintain veterinary bills and feed costs. I will do everything possible in my power to assist my parents if they allow me to live my dream now. How can I show them? How can I tell them? Horses, my life, my everything. I don't want one, I need one. I need to be set free, I need to be complete. Whole. Please give me any advice possible, how did you get your first horse? I don't want criticism, I've heard it, by giving up now, I'd be giving up on my dream. I'm not a failure, I'm a survivor. With persistence, my dream will come true. The time is now, I know it, I feel it, just like I feel my love of horses running through my veins. Never ending.

~Lauren
Angelhorsegirl
 
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#2 ·
Lauren, my heart truly goes out to you. I completely understand. My parents had the same mind-set when I was young. It took everything I had (many years) to convince them to allow me to take lessons. Does your stable have any horses available to lease? Perhaps if you eased them into a lease or half-lease situation, where they are not responsible for unexpected expenses like vet care, they might be able to manage it a little easier. It can be frighteningly expensive and I'm sure they don't want to be in a situation where they couldn't afford to heal your best friend if he got sick.
 
#3 ·
Kelly,
Thank you for your response. I am currently riding this horse Cody, one or two times each week but it just isn't the same. They don't pay for it as I work it off, but he might be sold soon. That would be devastating to me, and after so many years, why don't I get to have a horse too? It's just all so painfully upsetting. =/ Do you own a horse? What is it like? <3
Lauren
 
#4 ·
Actually, I do not have one right now. I started riding just before I was 10. I rode for a year and worked at my barn. When I was 11, I started leasing one of the barn horses, but it still wasn't quite the same. The following year, a girl from my barn left for college and my instructor talked to my parents about buying her horse for me. I have to say that she was the best friend I ever had. No horse would ever compare to her again! She was my whole world and I would have done anything for her. A time came several years later when my trainers convinced us that I needed to move up to a bigger and better horse if I was going to continue competing. We decided to sell her and I was broken hearted. No other horse was ever quite the same. When I was 20, I joined the working world and couldn't afford to do anything with horses. For the last 10 years there has been a small but noticable hole in my life. Recently, my fiance encouraged me to find horses again and I am currently searching for my new best friend. I cannot wait to find my new horse, but I know that it'll take some time to find the right one.

The experience you're gaining by riding and working with different horses truly is a wonderful thing. I really do understand the yearning for a horse of your own, but give it some time and enjoy the horses that are in your life. You day WILL come, and you'll be so happy you waited for the right time and the right horse!!
 
#5 ·
Kelly,
Oh my gosh! Thank you, that was heart-touching. You are so lucky that you got to experience horse ownership at such an early age, and it must of been horrific to sell your girl. I am not ever going to give up on my dream, it will come true, it is just a matter of time. I love horses, they mean everything to me...and I truly could not live without them. I don't believe my trainer is ever going to be able to convince my parents that they should buy me a horse though. :P
Lauren
 
#6 ·
#7 ·
Kelly,
They are all sort of far, the first one REALLY got my hopes up as she reminded me exactly of Cody. I have never heard of a Buckskin past 15hh, but apparently there is one! If I ever purchase a horse, I want it to be a Buckskin that is 16hh+, but that horse is more than three hours away from me. I am located in Boca Raton, Florida (Southern Area) if you want to try to narrow the search down a bit, I appreciate it!
Lauren
 
#8 ·
Keep checking Craigslist, Horsetopia, Dreamhorse, Equine.com and Equinenow.com There are tons of different lease situations. If you find the right one that your parents are comfortable with and confident in their ability to include in their budget, you just might get a way into having your own buddy!
 
#11 ·
Another thought, but PLEASE ask your parents permission first, is to post an ad offering your riding & companionship services to a horse that an owner just might not have time to do anything with. You could also call around to some of the bigger barns in your area and ask if they, or any of their boarders, would be interested in arranging a half-lease or lease with you. Often there are horses available for this, they're just not advertised!

Before doing any of this though, its really important that your parents are on board and supportive of finding a solutiuon that makes everyone happy. I'm sure after four years of working with horses every weekend they know this is something that is a very important part of your life. Ask them for some ideas that they would be comfortable with too!
 
#12 · (Edited)
Lauren, I completely understand what you're going through. Growing up, we never had enough money to care for a horse, and I understood this. I fell in love with any and all things horse from the day I was made aware of their existence...just a typical horsecrazy little girl. I collected Breyer's, read Pony Pals religiously, lowered windows when we drove past stables to just take in their glorious smell...and then my mum did the most amazing thing: she paid for riding lessons at a humble hunt/jump operation. I learned so much from my trainer, even though he was a bit of a spaz and had me on a different horse every week...but I trusted him. More often than not he had me on a horse who was my first true teacher, a spooky chestnut gelding (breed unknown!) who had tie up problems and flipped over in his stall when some tarps were flapping in the wind, the very first day I met him...I miss that guy.

I continued taking lessons with him and then later at another facility before we moved, and once again I was horseless. I dreamed about them, I saw them in my mind running in the pastures alongside the road as we drove, and I perfected the imitation of snorts and hoof clops with my mouth and hands from a very young age. :lol: I joined the horse chapter of a local 4-H...but the girls were effing spoiled ridiculous little brats and basically ran me out of the group on the account that I was horseless. I had no backbone back then, lol.

Later I met a wonderful friend whose mum bred minis, and she had two "big horses". Those were good times, but I admit to being jealous when she would go off to riding camps with her gelding...and I tried to imagine what that would be like. Glorious no doubt! Throughout the years I volunteered at various stables, doing everything possible in my power to just be around them, even if I was rarely allowed to ride due to insurance issues. :/ Being around them was enough...but I still yearned for a horse of my own, someone to be my companion and adventuring buddy, someone who's mane I could braid with silly little bows and whose thick, fuzzy neck I could just wrap my arms around and hug. Not someone else's horse. My own.

So, I am 20 now, and finally...FINALLY...the dream is going to be realised. Even if I am sharing the dream with my mum. :p It is almost unreal. It started off with me pointing out a scam ad for a cheap Friesian to my mam...then one thing led to another...we began searching, got in touch with people, and for the first time in memory my mother was like, "You know, we can do this." (She had horses as a young girl but was forced to leave them when they moved off the mainland, and loves them as much as I). We searched...some things fell through/horses were too expensive/had too many issues. One morning I rechecked Dreamhorse.com for new ads and voila, there was Lilly, the 9 yo arab who will be at our boarder's place this Sat.

Naturally this happens JUST as I am getting ready to go out of state for college, but at least I have another year.

If you read all of this, that's crazy. :p

Lauren...you'll get your horse. I have no doubt. Envision it, breath it, believe it. It'll happen. Talk with your parents and be earnest...perhaps even show them the post you first wrote in this thread. I'm sure they are aware of how dedicated you are (you certainly sound like it!) I have absolute faith in you!

Do talk with your parents about this first, but one thing I did (and got a lot of responses from) was to post wanted ads on these sites clearly stating that we were looking for a good horse for a forever home. You'll find people will be more willing to negotiate price if they know their animal is going to a good home. Visit local feed stores to check out the public message boards...hell even strike up a conversation with the cashier or whoever else is working. Chances are good they may even know of horses who are in such dire need of a home their owners are willing to give them away for free. You never know.

Keep us posted...
 
#13 ·
Just remember Lauren, theres some kids who cant even afford lessons on a horse, have no idea whats it like to even ride one or who dream about it but have never even seen one. So you are very lucky to even get to work with one every week.
But i do know what your going through and it is tough, but you will achieve your dreams, just keep hoping. :)
 
#14 ·
Cheshire & Paintsrule,
Thank you both for your feedback and moral support. I found both posts inspirational and I will definitely talk with my parents. Does anyone have any gently used horse tack/supplies which they would be willing to give away out of curiosity? Thank you so much!
Lauren
 
#15 ·
Lauren,
Talk to your parents. Mine were the same way at first, saying lets wait, you might not stay with it. I asked them what can i do you prove it? Since then i have been able lease a horse at my barn. I am very lucky that i can lease my horse. The barn that i ride at is not inexpensive and many of the girls sound similar to yours. I have been SOOOO fortunate with the owner of the barn. She has gone above and beyond to help me find a horse.
For tack, try raising money or look for tent sales or barn sales. Look on Craigs List and find the best sales on line. Maybe you can get a job at a tack store?
 
#16 ·
Juju,
I should ask the local tack store if they would hire me! Thanks for that advice, I'll call tomorrow. You are very fortunate, my barn is very expensive but also extremely nice. I don't know, I have so many options to think about but I am definitely going to talk to my parents soon.
Lauren
 
#17 · (Edited)
Lauren,


I just wanted to let you know that I know EXACTLY how you feel. Exactly to a T. I know because I've been there. I've been around horses for as long as I can remember but I've never owned my own untill now. Every horse I had ever fallen in love with has pretty much left me. I rode my friends horses, my trainers horses, but never my own. My parents always told me I wasn't responsible enough to own a horse, theres no money, we can't afford it, you're too young. Everything. When the mustang I had been working with for a little over a year left (I was SO attached to him I cried for weeks...) my parents brought me on a vacation to visit my sister in Georgia. Meanwhile my trainer rescued Cricket. I had prayed for my very own horse for YEARS and I finally got her.

It's hard. It's really hard. Especially if you're going to decide to take on a rescue with no manners. And I can honestly say it's not all peaches and cream. Obviously you understand that since you've been working with horses for so long. Owning my own horse has been totally and completely different from riding and caring for Shrek every day. I cleaned corrals every day and fed every night in exchange for the ability to do whatever I wanted to with my best friend and trainers horse. But owning Cricket is still SO different. I am completely 100 percent responsible for her. Her feet, her well being... It's almost like having a kid. It's weird. My life completely revolves around her. It cracks me up. I'd slice off my own arm before I intentionally harmed her.

I'm a sixteen year old (almost seventeen YAY!) girl who literally owns her own horse. It's amazing and totally scary at the same time. I'm serious, it's like having a 1,000 pound kid! hahaha. People don't always understand. It's weird, I know. Especially because horse come so naturally to people like you and I (And everyone on here...). I have no friends. Mostly because people don't always understand that my horse has to come first right now. It's hard, but thats how you know who your real friends are. They'll understand. Preppy girls at your barn, I'd say shine them on. They've had everything they've ever wanted served to them on a shining platter. They don't know what it's like so you can't expect them to understand.

Thats why I congradulate you so much for wanting to take that next step. You know you're ready. Heres what I did.

First of all, theres TONS of very nice, fancy show barns in my area. I forgot about them all. Instead I went to the more lower class ranches and barns. Put flyers up. Say you'll exchange your work in exchange for the riding of their horse. You might just find someone willing to let you. Thats what I did. And if I hadn't I never would have met my trainer. I prayed alot I just sort of fell into the sittuation. It was God, honestly.

If you have Craigslist, I would suggest putting up adds. You're obviously willing to do ANYTHING and peope will see that and WANT you. I know theres tons of people in my area who cant work with their horses as much anymore. They'd snag you in a minute. Don't over look the small barns! There might just be a treasure there waiting for you =D


I wish you a MILLION times good luck! You have NO idea how much we have in common.

Write me if you need anything. =)
 
#18 ·
I know how you feel! When I was little all I wanted was riding lessons. My parents paid for dance lessons instead. When I turned 13 I started cleaning stalls at the local fairgrounds for standardbred owners just to be close to the horses. When I was 16 I worked my butt off at McDonalds and bought my first horse behind my parents back. I spoiled the crap out of the horse. When I was with my ex he wouldn't allow me to own a horse. So I went without one for a very long time. They are all I thought of, all I dreamed of, all I ever imagined, all I ever prayed and wished for.

One day you will get your horse!
 
#19 ·
While I understand completely where you're coming from, I'm going to play Devil's Advocate.

First, it's apparent you're still a minor child living at home. As such, that makes you a dependent, and subject to your parents' rules. If your parents have said NO HORSE, then all the wishing in the world isn't going to get you one.

It's obvious you don't have a rig to haul with, nor do you have the income to pay to board a horse, even though you seem fairly optimistic that someone, somewhere will be glad to let you work off board. In this economy, I don't really see that happening. Letting you ride school horses for barn work is quite a bit different than a BO having another animal on their feed bill, and not getting paid for it.

You're quite eloquent as only tween/teen girls can be, but the fact of the matter is that you are not an adult, and have no financial means with which to support a horse. Which means that responsibility would fall upon your parents. Which they have said isn't going to happen.

I was a horse crazy girl myself with parents who didn't 'get it', so I understand. However, I didn't even have the option of riding, because there were 8 people dependent upon 1 salary in my family. Things like riding horses were definitely not in the budget.

You may have to wait and do what I did; once you graduate school and get a full time job and a car, then you can afford a horse. Dreams deferred are even sweeter when they're finally realized, and what you DON'T get just because you want it, builds character and resolve.

You're luckier than most horse crazy girls of your age, because you get to ride. Most of them are like me; they'll have to wait until they can afford a horse themselves before they'll ever feel the back of a horse between their legs.

Count your blessings dear, not the things you don't have.
 
#27 ·
You may have to wait and do what I did; once you graduate school and get a full time job and a car, then you can afford a horse. Dreams deferred are even sweeter when they're finally realized, and what you DON'T get just because you want it, builds character and resolve.
Echo that.





We were all like you once upon a time, and had to wait till we were old enough to earn our own income to buy a horse ...

(alright, not every one of us, but you know what I mean!)
 
#20 ·
I guess I will chime in and agree with Speed Racer. I was very lucky since I had a pony starting from the age of 6 and grew up with horses. Living on a farm my fathers attitude was "what's one more mouth to feed." I practically lived on those animals. Then we had to move into town and I had to sell them. Broke my heart to sell them, but there was no way we could afford to board and I was still a minor and had no way to pay for a car or anything it takes to care for a horse. Then I got out of school, got a job, got married and bought a horse and boarded him. Had a baby and eventually down the road had to sell him out of a divorce. Got remarried and now that the children are grown I am back to having horses. (5 at last count). While we all may love our horses and dream of them, in the real world we have to plan and work for the things we want in life. Everything has a time and a place in our lives.

Overall a horse is a luxury and if your parents don't want to deal with it wait until you are out of school/college and old enough to afford your horse.
 
#21 ·
well...if your parents are like mine they are just looking for some serious responsibility...

My parents both continually said no...i kept asking if they would get me one...well that was the issue...the moment i said something about them paying the initial costs and then me paying them back they just owned up and bought one for me anyway they just wanted me to show some responisibility...

But from the sound of it your problem is different from mine...Stick it out though! It will happen some day! I use to never think i would actually get a horse...and here i am with one about to possibly get a second one... :)
 
#23 ·
You all are so lucky!!! We aren't a lower-class family, I mean, we are about average, on the better-off end of the scale. I don't think it is necessarily the initial costs, but the boarding and maintenance is just too much. My cousin has two horses and three stalls, but she lives 45 minutes away, and there's not much potential (i.e. I'm a hunter/jumper and her barn is focused on trail riding). If I were to keep a horse there it'd be about $250 (my barn now charges nearly $900), there are MILES of trails, but I'd be sacrificing jumping, or having to invest in building a jumping course. The facility really is not that nice...
~Lauren
 
#24 ·
My friend Sam is obsessed with horses like most of us are....but she hasnt been riding since her parents stopped giving her lessons when she was 7. The 2 of us finally convinced her mom to let Sam come up with enough money for tack for a horse, and her mom would pay lease. And she could board at my house. She just showed responsibility in babysitting to get money, and still has a long way to go, but she's getting there.
 
#25 ·
you could try looking for a cheaper barn in your area? or if you have a friend with some land ask about keeping a horse there...thats what i did...my boy was at my bestfriends house forever until we had a falling out...not he is at my boyfriends lol
 
#26 ·
It least she has an option like that, well, I guess I shouldn't say that, I AM possibly going to have an opportunity. My friend from the barn, Jessica, just moved here and they are trying to "rearrange" their lives, so to speak. She is only a few years younger then me, but next year, they are *hopefully* moving to a house, with a stable. Jessica promised that if everything works out, they will make special arrangements so that I can keep a horse there. I guess we should stay in touch! Basically, it'd be free board, I'd be paying for a few things *obviously*, but since we are friends, she has no problem with me using her tack while I save up! But, hopefully, by then I'll have tack of my own! I just hope they don't move too far, otherwise it will be a bit of a drive. =/
~Lauren
 
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