lessons from your horse :p i loved this <3 - The Horse Forum
  • 1 Post By SkyeAngel
  • 1 Post By tinyliny
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post #1 of 8 Old 09-12-2011, 11:51 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Swindon (uk)
Posts: 88
• Horses: 3
Lightbulb lessons from your horse :p i loved this <3

Lessons From Your Horse:
  1. When you're tense, let me teach you that there are lions in the woods, and we need to leave. NOW!!
  2. When you're short tempered, let me teach you how to slog around the pasture for an hour before you catch me.
  3. When you're short-sighted, let me teach you to figure out where, exactly, in 40 acres I'm hiding.
  4. When you're quick to react, let me teach you that herbivores kick much faster than omnivores.
  5. When you're worried, let me entertain you with my mystery lameness.
  6. When you feel superior, let me teach you that mostly, you're the maid service.
  7. When you're self-absorbed, let me teach you to pay attention!! (I told you about those lions in the woods...)
  8. When you're arrogent, let me teach you what 1,200 pounds of yahoo-let's-go! speed event horse can do when suitably inspired.
  9. When you're lonely, let me be your companion. Let's do lunch. Also breakfast, dinner, and snacks.
  10. When you're tired, don't forget the 600 pounds of grain that need to be unloaded.
  11. When you're feeling financially secure, let me teach you the meaning of "veterinary services, additional."

Dutch Magic
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post #2 of 8 Old 09-12-2011, 11:55 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Swindon (uk)
Posts: 88
• Horses: 3
All I need to know in life I leaned from my horse - Vol. 1
  1. When in doubt, run far, far away.
  2. You can never have too many treats.
  3. Passing gas in public is nothing to be ashamed of.
  4. New shoes are an absolute necessity every 6 weeks.
  5. Ignore cues, they're just another prompt to do more work.
  6. Everyone loves a good, wet, slobbery kiss.
  7. Never run when you can jog.
  8. Never jog when you can walk.
  9. And never walk when you can stand still.
  10. Heaven is eating at least 10 hours a day...and then sleeping the rest.

Dutch Magic
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post #3 of 8 Old 09-12-2011, 11:55 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Swindon (uk)
Posts: 88
• Horses: 3
All I need to know in life I learned from my horse - Vol. 2
  1. Eat plenty of roughage.
  2. Great legs and a nice rear will get you anywhere in life. Big, brown eyes help too.
  3. When you want your way, stomp hard on the nearest foot.
  4. In times of crises, take a poop.
  5. Act dumb when faced with a task you don't want to do.
  6. Follow the herd, that way you can't be singled out to take the blame.
  7. A swift kick in the butt will get anyone's attention.
  8. Love those who love you back, especially if they have something good to eat.

Dutch Magic
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post #4 of 8 Old 09-12-2011, 11:56 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Swindon (uk)
Posts: 88
• Horses: 3
All I need to know in life I learned from my horse - Vol. 3
  1. Leather and chains can make anyone look studly.
  2. Cold bathes are a form of cruel and unusual punishment.
  3. You've got horse sense. Use it!
  4. If god meant you to be incased in metal, He would've made you a Sherman Tank.
  5. If someone's constantly on your back, lie down and play dead, or run like heck.
  6. Happiness is a warm, fuzzy blanket and someone to share it with.
  7. Who needs nuclear power when you've got natural gas?

Dutch Magic
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post #5 of 8 Old 09-12-2011, 04:02 PM
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Kent, England
Posts: 359
• Horses: 3
haha, I love it! It made me think of some things I've learned from my phoebe girl:

1. Tractors and other heavy machinery is perfectly safe. Logs, however, are dangerous.
2. Bathing may be fun, but getting muddy is MORE fun!
3. Exercise time and snack time can be simultaneous!
4. Squeal loudly at boys you like, they LOVE it.
5. Don't go outside when it's windy, it makes everything come alive and try to kill you.
6. If that rug/dress makes your bum look big, just rip it off and leave it on the floor.
7. Don't buy shoes, have a nice man bring them to you and get your mum to pay for them!
8. Trees will not shelter you when it is raining. It is better to stand right out in the middle of a big, open field.
9. Braided hair will NEVER be last season
10. It is better to be fat and happy than toned and miserable.
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~The most important lesson my horse ever taught me is how much I have left to learn~
SkyeAngel is offline  
post #6 of 8 Old 09-13-2011, 06:28 PM
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 334
• Horses: 1
Haha! These are funny! Lessons from Amber:
1. Coyotes are our friends. Ladders and bunnies on the other hand are very dangerous!
2. Never get your face wet, especially if the water is cold.
3. If you like a boy, pin your ears and bite him. When he talks to you turn around and ignore him. He'll love it!
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post #7 of 8 Old 09-13-2011, 07:19 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 40,582
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A very few extra observations from an Appy:

1. the whites of my eyes make me look sad or worried all the time. So, be nice to me, I need it more than any other horse. Just look at my eyes.

2. My spots make it really hard to find me on those 40 acres.

3. I never grow my mane long enough for my rider to grab it intimes of need. Let her grow her own mane!
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post #8 of 8 Old 09-13-2011, 09:11 PM
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 805
• Horses: 1
Lessons from Gambit:
1. Walking in puddles will drown us, but rolling in ponds is fun.
2. Walk up the hill in the pasture to get me, and I'll race you back down to the gate.
3. Indoor arenas are full of monsters, out door arenas are fine.
4. Trail rides should never be done any slower than a fast trot.

"Anything is possible, if you have enough nerve" -JK Rowling
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