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:( A long question about parents not spending on horseriding?

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        11-05-2012, 10:52 AM
    I grower up in a house were my love of horse was dead last on the list. It was not until I was 35yrs old that I got my own stuff that I bought with my money, the beat part of getting stuff that I bought is no one could say that I owe them I also got my first horse on my own dime this means more to me than every thing and yes there were times that I would cry and swear that some day I would get my own stuff and horse and now I am a better horseman for it
    jcraig10 likes this.
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        11-05-2012, 11:24 AM
    (((Princess))) I've been where you are and I know it's frustrating. Do not lose your dreams, don't let anyone tell you they are unrealistic.

    At 13, you don't have lots of options. If you're living in a big city (which is what it sounds like) you have even fewer. You cannot get around your parents. At 13 they control your life and if you're planning on university, it sounds like it will be a few years until you have the funds and ability to be independent. Get your education, start earning some money and then do whatever you want.

    Meanwhile, all is not lost. You don't have access to a real riding school, but you do have a kind lady who lets you ride for $15 an hour? WOW..
    You do not need tall boots to ride. You need something with a heel and a helmet. Jeans aren't great, but you want to ride: LOOKING the part is secondary. What you do have is time. LOTS of time. And time is a precious gift. You know what you want to do...so start investigating.
    If you have a public library, you have access to all kinds of horse information. If they dont' have the book you want, they can get it for you from any library in the US (If you're in the US) It's called Inter-library loan and it's usually free. You can use this time to educate yourself about horses: anatomy, care, feeding, first aid. There are also books on riding, and although learning to ride on a horse is far better, you can educate yourself about position, aids, etc. Get yourself a big round ball that people with bad backs sit on...Practice, practice, practice. Talk to the lady who lets you ride...she may be able to help. Practice using the aids on the horse you do ride. You have TIME on your side.

    By the time you actually can afford to take real lessons, at least you'll have a working knowledge of terminology and the basics. You can't learn EVERYTHING from books...but you can get a good head start.

    There's a lesson in this: You can't always get what you want when you want it. But with ingenuity and patience you can usually get there if you hold tight to your dreams. Sometimes you have to take a detour....but you get there in the end! Good luck!
        11-05-2012, 11:36 AM
    Hey :)

    I had a similar problem. My mom would support me, she is glad I don't hang at pubs etc, but father is against spending my money at "so ridiculous thing, you should be studying very hard, helping at household" etc etc... My advise is, try to make a deal with them. I don't know you, but maybe raise your grades at school, help your parents more in the house, set the rules. (eg you will do the dishes twice a week and water the flowers and so some ironing avery week, in exchange to one lesson a week.) It would be fair in my opinion. After you turn 15, find a job. You need not to spend all the spare time there, just enough to pay for yuor equipment.
    hberrie likes this.
        11-05-2012, 11:37 AM
    As others have said, horse back riding is very expensive. I know its hard to understand, but even that small $15 a week adds up and affects the bills. I recently stopped taking lessons myself and they were only $25 a week, however that's $100 a month, $1200 for a year and its a lot of money. $100 is grocery money for a week or too. Its hard to warrent spending that much money when it could be put to better use elsewhere.
    When I was your age my parents paid for one lesson a week, I however wanted to ride more which we could not afford. A lesson barn in my area allowed more riding in exchange for barn chores (cleaning stalls, feeding, etc). Maybe try seeing if you could find a barn that allows something like that. Also, while its difficult, try to focus your search on barns that on your parents way to work or on the way back so its easier for them to drop to you off.
        11-05-2012, 11:40 AM
    This is one of the few posts from kids having a tough time with parents and the word "no" that really touched me. You don't seem like you are a spoiled one kicking the dirt and complaining because the didn't get their way. Good on you!

    You need a plan of attack and HagonNag gave you some very sound advice. Heed it! Also I will tell you to keep an eye out in Good Will/Salvation Army shops. There are definite treasures in those places where you can find almost brand new if not brand new stuff for cheap.

    And this may sound crazy but get yourself a large jar. Start picking up ALL change you see on sidewalks, etc and toss it in that jar. EVEN PENNIES. It is free money and trust me when I tell you it WILL add up.
        11-05-2012, 11:45 AM
    As a kid my family never got why I wanted to be around horses so much - with a single mom we were also broke, so of course riding seemed far out of our reach. She had paid for lessons for me whenever she could, but honestly she just couldn't keep it up- not that she didn't want to, but she couldn't. I rode in jeans and the cheapest boots we could find.

    Finally when I was 12-13ish I decided my riding lessons needed to be more consistent so I took it into my own hands and worked for my lessons. My mom would drop me off Saturday mornings and I'd clean stalls, groom horses, clean tack and feed and water buckets all in exchange for a lesson at the end of the day. But I got my lesson every week and I honestly learned more about horses than I ever could have with lessons alone. After many years of doing this I started volunteering at a local horse rescue - if you want to really learn the nitty gritty of horse care work at a rescue, seriously. It's been 8 years since I started volunteering there, now I run the place :) I'm also a licensed recreational and therapeutic riding instructor - it was totally worth bumming it and working for my lessons all my life!
    You certainly don't need the nicest riding clothes - Just a good work ethic and you'll go far fast :)

    Remember horses are supposed to be fun - they're our break from the difficult things in life - don't make them something else to be sad about, just enjoy your time with them!
    bsms, amp23, BBBCrone and 3 others like this.
        11-05-2012, 11:46 AM
    You can also use this time to convince your parents that this is not a passing whim. Ask for horse magazine subscriptions as gifts...choose a horse topic for papers you have to write at school. Have to do a paper for biology?...Then choose colic or metabolic syndrome or Insulin resistance. History? How did horses arrive in the New World? How were horses used in war? Write about a famous horse. Research various disciplines... There are TONS of topics. And writing about something you like is always better than something that bores you. (In addition, choosing an unusual topic will make your teacher smile! Do you know how many papers she gets on the "usual" topics?...And yours would be held up to comparision with every other one she's gotten! Give her a break and do something unique. Your grades will definitely go up.)
    BBBCrone, PunksTank and Conall97 like this.
        11-05-2012, 12:10 PM
    Green Broke
    My parents could not affort lessons, or fancy gear. What did I do?

    I saved every penny for years. I satisfied my self with google and the occasional friends horse until I was 15, and had saved enough to pay for a horse. I bought my first horse, then worked evenings and weekends through high school to pay for her. I rode in hand-me-down clothing, wearing walmart riding "style" boots(all I could afford) untill I was 18, when I started being able to buy nicer things for my self.

    Be grateful for what you have, work to get what you want, and don't use excuses(depression).

    Young people complaining that their parrents don't support their desire for an expensive hobby is a pet peeve of mine.
    Koolio and hberrie like this.
        11-05-2012, 12:31 PM
    You don't have to buy actual horseback riding apparel. My friend pieced together an entire western show outfit for her daughter at Goodwill, and she looked good.

    There's nothing wrong with riding in jeans. I did for years (and still do) until my folks got me a few pairs of breeches for Christmas one year (and they were reasonably priced. About the same as jeans, if you know where to look online). I also got some knock-off boots at Walmart that looked just like jodhpurs. They're super comfy and look great with half chaps.

    Thick leggings can serve as riding breeches. And you can ride in pretty much any boot with a heel. My two favorite pairs of riding shoes were on sale at regular stores. ;) Besides, you don't want cheap tall boots. Trust me.
    EvilHorseOfDoom and PunksTank like this.
        01-20-2013, 10:03 PM
    Originally Posted by LadyDreamer    
    Parents are difficult to change. Trust me. You just have to learn to live with the hand you are dealt with them. They just become an obstacle for you to either surrender to or over come. That is truly up to you which.

    Two or three or even four years is really not a long time at all, especially when you are working for something you love. It might just be that you should start saving every penny you have until you can get a car, a job, and then your lessons. It is so much fun making your first few "big" purchases. Mine were my computer and my dog followed by my truck. What you should do is start studying how economics and money work, so that when you start getting a good steady income, you know what to do and can be independent more easily and better prepared for certain problems your parents should have prepared you for.

    (Please do not get mad at the following! You sound like a very intelligent young girl, just confused and looking for answers. You are awesome kiddo. We have all been there. The following is a little blunt and I don't want to upset you, but I am compelled to post it.)

    Don't convince yourself you have depression. You are 13. It blows my mind that a 13 year old could have diagnosable depression. Being unhappy is not depression. Being treated unfairly causes unhappiness. Not getting what you want causes unhappiness. There are billions of things to be happy about, even if your life SUCKS. Don't fall into that "Oh, woe is me. Nothing ever goes my way. My life is miserable. It MUST be a medical issue." "Depression" is becoming such an overused crutch these days and so very common that those with a true medical problem should be insulted. It is such a watered down condition now. I could go in and get drugs for depression if I try hard enough. It makes me feel bad for the ones who suffer a true medical problem. Too many people abuse the "term" depression". EVERYONE feels bad sometimes. There are too many people using "depression" as an excuse and a crutch who don't really have a problem. Do you need drugs to make you "right" or happy??? No! You need horses. Find OTHER things that make you happy. Don't rely on one thing that your time with is uncertain at best to make you happy. Horses will happen even if they can't right now. Find some things now that can occupy your desires to learn. For goodness sake, go out and canter around the yard pretending. Trust me, you are NEVER to old to play an pretend. Go play. Go run. Go do. Don't sit in the house moping that you can't have what you want. Find things that you can have to want. Fresh air, books, learning, another animal, another activity, a puzzle. Do SOMETHING.
    Posted via Mobile Device
    I'd like to add on to the cantering around the yard thing:
    I ride once a week and I am obsessed with horses. I have taught myself how to canter and jump and switch leads and all of that. I LOVE doing it. You are never to old to learn how to canter on foot, heck I'm 13 too and I always do it! Its a load of fun. You can also look up a dressage test online and practice it on foot in the driveway :)

    cost, help me!, horses, money, parents

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