:( A long question about parents not spending on horseriding? - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 30 Old 01-21-2013, 04:59 AM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Australia
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I was just like you my dad didn't want to pay for lessons and i tried finding a job to pay for my own lessons but i couldn't find a job. I even worked for my dad in his gym and he didn't in the end give me enough lessons ! I was working hours every week cleaning Mirrors to not even have a lesson every 3 weeks, and i missed out on doing my homework. This man at my dads gym even said i was doing child slave labour!

WTF dad.. by the time i had been so horse deprived i was a lunatic, i was having arguments with my family, police had been called over domestic violence and they took me to the hospital because i had injured myself.
I do believe if you can't do something you love, and things that make you happy, you begin to feel depressed. Than when I moved houses i was living with my Auntie who wasn't as selfish as my farther and payed for my lease horse while i tried my hardest to get a job at mcdonalds. But i was so happy when me and my auntie went to centerlink, because my father and my mother didn't pay at all for my living expenses and my Auntie got this benefit and i now use the benefit to pay for my lease horse and only living expenses.
In the end my father felt bad for depriving me of lessons and now buys me horsey stuff nearly every time i see him.. probably because i wouldn't see him if he didn't.
In the end you will get your way and it comes from independence and patience, don't do what i did and go crazy, going crazy will cause horrible things to happen ! Focus on school and getting good marks... that took me a while to realise !
This is what i now do to ride:

1st step:
Develop a way of getting money to ride by working.. there is always a way i could be working at Mcdonalds now but i got such good marks, that my auntie doesn't make me pay for board or anything like that. There are so many jobs that people will pay for...

2nd Step:
Get good marks try your hardest at school. When you try your hardest at school and your still riding horses or having lessons your parents will realise how riding horses helps you do your school work better.

3rd Step:
Keep a good relationship with your parents and don't be crazy like i was !
If i am not good for my Auntie i wont be able to live here, and i would have to live some where else and wouldn't be able to ride horses. Don't end up homeless or nearly in foster care !

4th Step:
Never give up theres ALWAYS A WAY ! Every one goes their own way to be able to ride and own a horse, and mine was a crazy crazy ride but in the end no matter how many years you will get there keep strong be brave !

please no one.. no rude comments about this, i am very honest. and my motto is " "whats in the past stays in the past".

Last edited by SouthernTrails; 01-21-2013 at 07:15 AM.
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post #22 of 30 Old 01-21-2013, 09:46 AM
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Loudoun County, VA
Posts: 655
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Look for clubs to join, like 4-H or Pony Club. It's important for guidance and you may find someone who needs one of their horses ridden.

Contact local stables and ask if they would be willing to let you ride for some stable work.

I'd readjust your thinking. Don't think of it as your parents won't help you and give your sister everything. Think of it as your personal challenge that you will find a way to ride. Don't set up walls against your parents. Many people don't understand the appeal of horseback riding. Just show them you are determined to make it work, and leave it at that.

You also don't need tall boots. Tall boots are more expensive than comparable paddock boots, and asking for more expensive equipment than you need is sure to irritate your mom. If your boots don't fit, get another pair of paddock boots. You could probably find a cheap pair used, or if you join those clubs I mentioned, there may be someone who will give you a pair free.
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post #23 of 30 Old 01-21-2013, 10:37 AM
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Southern Ca
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Parents and others often do not realize how important our dreams are to us. They think it may just be a "phase". I wanted a pony since I was 10 years old and rode my cousins. I just bought one this month, 40 years later. The same thing with a piano.
I suggest you save all your birthday and xmas monies..it doesn't matter if they won't take you, all the grocery stores and drug stores sell gift cards these days even for amazon and ebay..use your money to purchase these or ask for these cards for birthdays and occasions then order what you need online.

Don't take life so seriously. After all no one gets out alive.
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post #24 of 30 Old 01-21-2013, 10:57 AM
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Hampshire, UK
Posts: 46
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You could do a paper round? Or you could start doing odd jobs for money, like cleaning your neighbour's cars etc?
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post #25 of 30 Old 01-21-2013, 11:35 AM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Portland, OR
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Originally Posted by newbierider View Post
Parents and others often do not realize how important our dreams are to us. They think it may just be a "phase".
^^^This. My parents never quite got how important horses are to me, and so while they would happily buy me horse figurines and books for my birthday & Christmas and we'd go on the occasional trail ride if we were vacationing at a state park that offered it, they wouldn't get me lessons. Up until college, the most advanced riding I had done was ride a 28 year old horse in a round pen. (Which I was ecstatic about at the time!) Even though I got a job as soon as I was legally able, I didn't have a car so I couldn't get to a barn. I saved what I thought was a lot of money, but textbooks for the first semester of college wiped that out pretty quickly.

I finally got to start lessons the summer before I graduated college. I really wish I could have started getting involved with horses before going to college, though, as I'm fairly certain I would have chosen a different career path (probably vet).

I'd ask at one of the lesson barns close to you if you could work in exchange for lessons; even working for free would get you some experience in horse care. My barn does a working student program, but they're also happy to have volunteers just groom and love on the horses, especially the ones who are retired and don't get a lot of attention otherwise.
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post #26 of 30 Old 01-23-2013, 05:26 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Washington
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You don't sound selfish. You sound very passionate about your love for horses. thats all you need. use that love and make it in to energy. work hard at school. get on good terms with your mother. I bet the reason your mother isn't on board with the horse thing because she thinks its just a phase and there is no use on spending lots of money on a phase that won't last. You have to prove it to her. don't get upset when she says no. I always loved horse. I read about them wrote about them, talked about them drove, wait let me correct that, still drive my parents crazy because i will not shut up about horses. I ride in jeans and just got my first pair of boots as a reward from my dad because i was working hard in school. Volunteer. honestly, that will teach you all you need to know about horses and then some. Don't worry about the riding part either. Loving a horse means even just spending some time around them is a treasure. My parents can't afford a horse right now. So, i work off my lessons, look around for volunteering opportunities and read about horses. I used to ride in a pair off tall boots as a hand me down and i hated them. since i needed shoes i used snow boots. they had a thick heel and were long. My cousin for her first lesson used gardner boots. they worked fine. Riding isn't the only thing about horses. I think my parents have finally understood that i am not going through a phase. and if i am it hasn't stopped since i saw a horse for the first time. which was a long time ago. I am not much older then you. just two years. If i can do it I don't see why you can't.

I may seem small, but if you mess with my horse, I will break out a level of crazy that will make your nightmares seem like a happy place.
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post #27 of 30 Old 01-25-2013, 01:33 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Oregon
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I wish I had a daughter like you! , I am re-married with two new daughters, one 10 and one almost 9 and the 9 yr old is interested. I am so hoping it sticks!!!

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post #28 of 30 Old 01-28-2013, 06:19 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Washington
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You know whats really funny? or more like strange? is all the girls like me and some others love horses but can't afford to either afford one or just are parents have no intrest in it. Yet, some other girls who have horses available or get horses, loose intrest in them and then their parents have to sell the horse or hope that the horse bug sticks. When i was looking for horses i saw so many horses for sale because "my daughter lost intrest in riding". or"she was horse crazy and then she got a horse and now she doesn't care anymore." just something i thought was interesting.

I may seem small, but if you mess with my horse, I will break out a level of crazy that will make your nightmares seem like a happy place.
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post #29 of 30 Old 01-28-2013, 06:56 PM
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Location: Alberta
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Originally Posted by newbierider View Post
Parents and others often do not realize how important our dreams are to us. They think it may just be a "phase".
Many kids don't understand what it takes for their parents to keep their family healthy and their household running. I've been on both sides of this equation and it is never as simple as parents not realizing how important their kids' dreams are.

There isn't anything more important to me than my kids and spouse. I would support them in fulfilling their every dream if I could, but sometimes I cannot and sometimes it is not always the 'best' thing to do. Parents have to make decisions based on what is best for the entire family, and although it may not appear to be so, most parents (and people) operate on limited resources. This includes, time, energy and money. Investing in an activity such as horses demands a huge amount of all three of these resources and so it requires careful consideration and planning.

I don't mean to be discouraging to the OP, but I am trying to be realistic. If horses are your passion and your dream, do what it takes to make your own dreams come true. As others suggested, try to find a job at a stable in exchange for lessons, or save up any gift money or small job income you can to make your own dreams come true. Eventually, you can make this happen and when you do, you will appreciate it that much more.
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post #30 of 30 Old 01-28-2013, 07:00 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,277
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All of you young girls Desperate to have a horse of your own or have your family invest more time/money into your riding should look into this book.

It's just a story book, it's sweet and I guarantee if you've ever loved a horse you will LOVE this book. We all have our "Sam"
I only advertise this book because it had me crying the entire time - not sad tears but tears of "someone finally gets it!"
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cost , help me! , horses , money , parents

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