I need to win. I just need to. My life is so screwy right now, let me explain:
They're bored. They're depressed. They're dropping weight. They need a job.
I cannot assist them with the facilities they are in.. 1 dirt paddock with 24/7 access to a round-bale, and they get grain once daily. I don't have an area to ride or lunge. I do, but I don't. They're not efficient. I feel so awful. My trailer is broken. I can't take them to my other [lesson] barn. Where I work. I'm so guilty. I hope to get my two ponies working again this weekend, and my mom can take care of HER horses. Jesus I feel like crap because I know they're suffering.
I have horses & ponies popping up left and right! I've found a fancy Welsh pony mare (owned by my instructor/boss) that I work well with. She is for sale, I want to buy her so bad. This mare has a foal on the ground (that is going on 4 or 5 years old) that I'm riding. Both ponies are a dream, and I so wish I could own her, I would have the perfect horse. One that has a show-career, and is breeding-material.
My friend has offered to let me show her Appaloosa. I jump him frequently, and she just can't get him to.. So she offered for me to show him over fences and she shows him in flat classes.
I'm also breaking the babies at my lesson barn. The yearling I play with, the two year old I ground drive, and practice manners with, and the 4 y/o I'm riding at a walk/trot in the arena... & I'm the only person riding him.
So basically if I won the lottery I could move my horses to a more sufficient barn, (that I would own), buy Christmas Belle (the mare), and probably buy Chris Kringle (Belle's foal I'm riding) and have everything I want in the comfort of my own property.
I'm still feeling horrible about my horses. I feel like I'm ruining them.