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Lurking around here for weeks -Need all the help you will give

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        01-05-2013, 11:44 PM
      #21
    Super Moderator
    Dustbunny,
    Your story is very encouraging to many people, but you said you'd been with horses all your life, and just reading your post, I can tell that you are not fearful of horses. Horse owners that love them and want to be with them but also have a lot of fear to deal with have a special challenge. In my opinion, they should not ever measure themselves against other, well-meaning horse peope who do not have this undercurrent of sometimes crippling fear.
    franknbeans, themacpack and LisaG like this.
         
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        01-05-2013, 11:44 PM
      #22
    Banned
    You will not gain any confidence on this horse unless something rather drastically changes with the horse.

    It's up to you whether or not you want to work through it, it sounds to me, as if you don't really. However if I am wrong, find a different trainer.

    To sell a horse with issues, put him in an auction, that doesn't mean he will go to slaughter, in fact you can put a base price on him (reserve) that's higher than the meat price.

    You absolutely can gain your confidence back, but you need a horse who will help you do that.
    franknbeans likes this.
         
        01-06-2013, 01:06 AM
      #23
    Started
    Holy Mr Moly! I shudder to think how much money your trainer has been taking from you whilst bullying you out of making your own decision about this horse! The horse is patently not the right one for you, and you are by no means the first or last person to discover that. The sad thing for you is that you have been stuck taking advice from someone determined that you do it 'their way' or not at all.

    I am 42, I ride for pleasure. I do not want to get involved with a horse that has special needs, nor one that needs to be retrained, re-broken or re-wired. Why should you?!

    If you have the funds to do so, then I think you should cut your losses with this horse. If it is a good horse apart from the er-herm behavioural issues, then use a DIFFERENT trainer to sell it for you. If this is a no-go then maybe look into giving him away. Then lease for a while, cut yourself some slack and relax into enjoying horses.
         
        01-06-2013, 01:38 AM
      #24
    Yearling
    Yes a person can overcome their fear but sometimes it takes a long time and alot of work.
    I got back into riding after being away from horses for over 30 yrs......I was 45 when I bought a red roan mare, 3yrs. Old and 30 days of riding on her! WTH was I thinking!! Spice bolted with my daughter twice and knocked her off, she would jump at the slightest noise or fast movement! She would run if I coughed!
    I spent alot of time working with her in the round pen for about 3 months. I did alot of ground work, desensitizing with her. I rode her with a bareback pad/halter (I couldn't lift the saddle on her LOL) and I rode her like that for 3yrs. Out all over the place......yes it took alot of work, alot of gaining her trust and my trust in her, I still have her....she's going to be 11 this year, had a colt here at 7yrs. And we trail ride all over the place! I couldn't ask for a better trail partner than I have with her! Now I've got her gelding Street to work with, he's coming up 4.......I started him under saddle but to be honest I'm not looking forward to riding him out, I still remember the times Spice would spin because something spooked her but luckily she always stopped for me. I have used a saddle for about 5yrs. Now, I walk up a step stool to put it on her LOL
    I couldn't afford to sell her so I worked with her but if you really want to enjoy your time with a horse it might be for the best to sell this one and look for one more suitable for you........
         
        01-06-2013, 02:31 AM
      #25
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Zoregon    
    I am 43 and have been riding for 6 years on and off. I start, get a scare, stop, get courageous and start again.
    Have been riding at my current barn for 3 years and decided it was time to buy another horse (we won't even get into the first two). So Zoregon it was (as per my avatar). 7 years old, green broke W/T/C. Came and saw him 3 times, rode him, all was well so bought him.
    Day 1 - he broke through 3 fences at my barn, manure smelled 'funny'
    Day 2 - broke through 2 fences, jumped a third, crawled under a fourth, over a bridge, down the road, found 5 kms away in an apple field. The only conclusion was that he had been heavily drugged every time I went.
    I have worked with him for a year started with following him around the paddock holding a lunge line. Put 4 months professional training into him. Wanted to sell him so many times but my trainer keeps saying there is a good horse in there. Problem is, I'm afraid. I ride him for a week or two, get scared then stop. Because he is green, when I start up again (usually 3 weeks later I appear) I have to start all over with lunging etc. not to mention my trainer is usually angry because I put him on ignore. I have been off for another 3 weeks because she wants me to start cantering him. I have the skill to ride him, not the confidence or trust. So to finally get to my question. Can someone overcome their fears? He is a good horse although he spooks at the cats (four steps and stops) but scares me to death. I can't sell him, who would buy a horse that runs away? (there are many more stories about him, but in the interest of it not taking you an hour to read my post, I have left them out). Any and all advice is solicited and welcomed!
    To answer you question, yes but I don't think it would be with this horse.

    Here's my take on your situation. 4 months with a trainer and you should see some definite improvements. If not, the trainer does not know what they are doing.

    Your trainer wants you to keeps the horse because he's a diamond in the rough? I don't think so. I think they think "Hah, I found a sucker and am going to milk it out for some easy money." Honestly, I could be wrong because I don't know the trainer or seen their work and I don't know all the issues being dealt with with your horse. It's just what I feel from reading your post.

    I will agree that you should sell your horse and get an older, been there done that horse. Green + green = black and blue. Even though you may be able to ride, your confidence level is keeping you at the beginner level. An older, more broke horse without issues, will help you gain confidence and enjoy riding.
    Posted via Mobile Device
    Ladytrails likes this.
         
        01-06-2013, 08:44 AM
      #26
    Trained
    Well-here I am-yet another older rider speaking from experience. I agree totally that you either need a new trainer IF you want to work through this, and that, at least to me, means that there is a SAFE horse in there, not one who will do stupid stuff. I had one like you have (not as bad) gave him away, and he is doing really well with someone else. Horse and owner are happy. Got my current one, and have literally put at least $10K in training on him, watching most of the sessions, riding him with the trainers helping me, and finally I have a horse who I know pretty much what he will do when pushed, and he will not rear, buck or bolt. (no there are no 100% guarantees) However, I was never afraid of this guy. Once you are afraid of them it is doubly hard to deal with.
    I am also thinking it very strange that this horse is so rude on the ground......

    Personally with this one, I would get it gone and move on. Cut your losses, and get him off the payroll-along with the trainer.
    themacpack and AlexS like this.
         
        01-06-2013, 11:39 AM
      #27
    Foal
    Thank you all for your very, very good advice!
    I should clarify I have a coach and a trainer who works for her (coach is older and doesn't want any broken bones). The trainer is young and fearless! He is an absolute angel for her, does everything she asks and that's why after four months she feels I should be able to ride him no problem. But usandpets is right, I have the ability to ride at an advanced level, but the mentality of a beginner. Sigh, this is definitely going to have to be a 'full disclosure sale'. I do care for him, fear aside and don't want to see him go to a bad home. It's difficult when you really want to be the confident rider, but don't seem to have the ability to do so.
         
        01-06-2013, 12:17 PM
      #28
    Started
    Sometimes people struggle to understand that there can be a personality clash between horse and rider. Where the trainer thinks there is a good horse in there, I think it is fairly obvious that your relationship with him is broken and it just may not work out.

    I can relate to what you want in a horse, something calm and sensible that you can hop on Saturday after letting him be a pasture puff all week. Believe me when I say it, they are out there and one will find you at the right time. I found Bandit when I wasn't even properly looking. I had a fantastic cob a few years ago, he was nice and everybody loved him. Everybody except me... I just didnt click with him. We weren't the right pair and I sold him onto somebody else. He did nothing wrong, he was grand, but there just wasn't an "us" in there. These things happen - horses have personalities and traits that one person will love and another completely dislike.

    Best of luck finding what you are looking for.
    LisaG likes this.
         
        01-06-2013, 12:39 PM
      #29
    Started
    "Dustbunny,
    Your story is very encouraging to many people, but you said you'd been with horses all your life, and just reading your post, I can tell that you are not fearful of horses. Horse owners that love them and want to be with them but also have a lot of fear to deal with have a special challenge. In my opinion, they should not ever measure themselves against other, well-meaning horse peope who do not have this undercurrent of sometimes crippling fear."

    Tinyliny...I completely agree with you. I feel the safest thing for the OP is to get a horse that she feels comfortable with. Fear is not a fun thing to deal with. A nice horse suited to her level will help her build confidence and she will enjoy the experience...and isn't that what it should be about anyway?
    With time and success and increased knowledge and ability and confidence (all that stuff we hope happens as we spend time with these amazing creatures) she may want more challenges, or not. I find the older I get the less challenges I want. Personally, I would not want the ones she has with her horse now. I only mentioned my personal experience as a point that sometimes we can learn form a challenge, but I would never encourage anyone to put themselves in a position above where they are comfortable. I would not put myself in that position. I have a pretty strong sense of self-preservation! : )
    I want the OP to succeed and have a good time.
    Ladytrails and LisaG like this.
         
        01-06-2013, 12:39 PM
      #30
    Trained
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Zoregon    
    Thank you all for your very, very good advice!
    I should clarify I have a coach and a trainer who works for her (coach is older and doesn't want any broken bones). The trainer is young and fearless! He is an absolute angel for her, does everything she asks and that's why after four months she feels I should be able to ride him no problem. But usandpets is right, I have the ability to ride at an advanced level, but the mentality of a beginner. Sigh, this is definitely going to have to be a 'full disclosure sale'. I do care for him, fear aside and don't want to see him go to a bad home. It's difficult when you really want to be the confident rider, but don't seem to have the ability to do so.
    While I agree that any sale should be a full disclosure sale, in this case I would recommend that part of the disclosure be the fact that while you have the ability, you don't have the confidence. If all I heard about the horse were all the things you originally said about him, I'd pretty much be, "NEXT" and move on. But when I read that you agree that for YOU it's a confidence issue, I'd be much more willing to at least come out and have a look for myself. I'd also recommend having the trainer ride him for a prospective buyer, and then if they want you to, you can get on and show how he goes for you. Then they can decide if they are confident enough to try him. That's a real sure fire way to make sure no one else gets in over their heads.
    Ladytrails, AlexS, FlyGap and 1 others like this.
         

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