Nothing was the same as what I had learned. For the past 5 months, it has been hell. I had a lease horse who hated me and bucked like crazy. The girl I got him from said he was very begginer safe and would teach me. I stuck it out with this guy until she just showed up and took him one day. I payed so much money into his vet bills, teeth, had to buy 3 different saddles until he would let me mount ( they all fit perfect, she said he was just picky about what he is going to be rdden in). I was told I was too soft on him, then too hard. I had multiple trainers out with a wide variety of training methods. Needless to say he was a disaster.
In February I bought an Arabian gelding who was very shy. I worked with my trainer and taught him to lunge, ground manners, and to trust people. Well since the lease horse left he forgot everything. He won't let me on and tries to buck when I do mount. He doesn't know squat for cues on the lunge line and won't let me catch him. I have read many posts and asked a lot of questions myself. Today I was trying to catch him and would make him move if he started to get away from me. I kept it up for an hour until it started to down pour. All the while I have my neighbor screaming at me across her pasture saying I'm being abusive and blah blah blah (I never layed a hand or whip on him, just loud noises). He is 19, I am not going to out that old of a horse through profession training.
I have had trainers and the vet out who have oked him for riding, no pain or problems. I have not had one decent ride. On any horse. I have been looking at horses to buy, got bucked off 3, had 2 sold out from under me, and was supposed to pick up a horse today, but the girl decided to charge DOUBLE the second I got the horse in the trailer. I walked away.
My fiance said that he has seen me get more emotional over these darn horses than I have during our whole relationship. I hate showing my emotions, but trying to work with these horses brings me to my knees in tears. I love horses, and even though I haven't gotten in a good ride, I enjoy taking care of them. I actually like mucking out stalls, picking up poo in the pasture, feeding, cleaning everything. It males me feel so accomplished.
I've been taking lessons, learning and working with a trainer.
Maybe I'm just not cut out for horse ownership. No matter what I try, I have someone standing over my shoulder saying I'm doing it all wrong. Theres no enjoyment in this anymore. I've lost faith that I will ever find what I'm looking for.
Thanks for listening. Any advice would be appreciated.