I don't know exactly what kind of advice I am asking for, but I sort of feel I need something. I'm having problems with training, not with the horse but with me. I bought my girl a couple of months ago, she is an unbroken three year old. She isn't too big and she's not that bad on the ground.
I want to train her and break her in and everything but I just don't. I thinks its because I am still semi scared of horses.
My last horse I bought as a rising two year old, and started her up and did everything with her, until I sold her I was the only person ever to ride her, and she turned out okay. I sort of stopped riding her when I came of her once. I was just riding in an outdoor arena, just walking on a loose rein at the end of a ride and she just started bucking, not little pigroot-y ones, but pretty badly, I came of after a bit but for about two more minutes she bucked around the arena, broke her bridle and stuff. She then stopped and to this day I have no idea what caused it. I figure that a bug must have bit her or something because it was so out of character and she never did it again. I was dizzy for a day, and my helmet was visibly twisted, and my back hurt for days. I never rode as much after that. A couple of months before that I was riding someone elses horse and he bolted and threw me, turns out that the owners daughter had needed a knee reconstruction last time she came of him, and at 17.3 hands he was a bit to big to deal with when he went nuts. I was on crutches for about a month or so.
I sold my old girl, moved to Sydney and stuff, but then this year wanted to get back into it all, I didn't want an unbroken horse, but I didn't have much cash and she wooed me with her pretty eyes. Now I am on holidays and everyday I wake up and say I'm going to go work with her, then I don't, I always make excuses, like I need to clean, or write, or cook, and that's not really like me, because I love horses. I can't afford to get a trainer to work with her, I can barely afford to keep her, but I want to ride and train, I just don't know whats wrong with me and why I can't do it, because I did before.
She's more highly strung than my last horse, and when I have put a saddle on she has gone a little nuts (although she was fine with a roller), so I don't know what she'll do when I get on her.
What should I do to, I don't know, fix me or something?