mom wont let me get a horse helppp please (rant)

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mom wont let me get a horse helppp please (rant)

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    08-05-2011, 05:08 AM
Unhappy mom wont let me get a horse helppp please (rant)

Im fifteen and I've wanted a horse my whole life. I live in the city so keeping a horse at the house not an option though I have found a great boarding stables. I've tried almost everything to get my mom to let me get a horse. I've shown her im responsiple I've had ideas for a savings account so I can have the money put back before hand. The one real problem is my brothers im the middle child so im not the first to get stuff and my mother thinks its stupid that I choose such a expensive "hobby" she doesnt understand riding horses I the one and only thing I truely love to do. How do I get her to let me get a horse??? Help peasee
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    08-05-2011, 05:31 AM
Green Broke
There have been so many friends like yours, I am a year younger than you and for many years worked (for free) at my riding school. Cleaning stalls, helping with lessons, grooming horses, riding horses, ect. I walked my dog every day - I made sure she was fed, had water and was brushed - treated her like a mini horse.

I spent hours researching horses - what my horse would eat, how often he would need teeth done, ect. All the costs; I showed my parents that I really wanted a horse and I wasn't just in it for the riding. I didn't beg, I didn't nag - this to my parents shows immaturity. I simply put ALL the information and costs down in front of them and did everything I could do to show them that I was willing to take care of my own horse - no matter what the task was.

For several years, I didn't get my horse. I continued working and showing them I was willing to do the tasks involved - now I have owned my lovely horse for three years :)

Horses are very expensive - your parents might not be able to afford it, not all families can. Even though you have your savings there are hundreds of things a horse needs - what happens if your horse gets an injury out in the paddock? My friend recently spent $30 000 on her horse because he got a leg injury out in the paddock. Please think about more than the - I want a horse factor.
    08-05-2011, 05:43 AM
Horses are my life im not at a "i want a horse phase." I've shown my mother the costs I've shown her I can work for money to be put back she just doesnt get it. I've shown maturity more then my eighteen year old brother who still acts like a two year old when he doesnt get what he wants. I misspoke when I said riding horses was the one thing I love doing. Anything that lets me be around horses I love. I visited a boarding stables and almost died when the owner let me brush one of her horses. This also goes alot deeper then horses but its nt the place to talk about it.
    08-05-2011, 06:25 AM
Do you actually have a savings account or are you still in the planning stages?
    08-05-2011, 06:27 AM
Im still in planing
    08-05-2011, 07:07 AM
Good for you for getting a plan. The thing is though, speaking from a parents perspective, kids are great at telling you what they will do, but so much better at not following through. If I allow my child to have an animal, it is ultimately my responsibility. A horse is a huge responsibility.

What you need to do is start showing your mother what you will do. Get yourself a job and open that savings account. Put every penny you can in it. If you have any pets at home, start taking responsibility for them. Clean up after them, exercise them and take responsibility. If you don't already take lessons, then start them. Volunteer at a local barn to help. Clean out some stalls, water, brush,etc.

Speaking from a parents perspective, don't tell me what you are going to do. Do it. Then we will talk.

My own daughter begged for a horse for a long time. It wasn't until she was taking riding lessons, cleaning stalls, scrubbing water buckets and working that I took her seriously. She now owns her own horse.
MySerenity likes this.
    08-05-2011, 09:43 AM
Are you taking riding lessons?

From an adult perspective, if you are not taking lessons, that is the place to start, not ownership. Lessons are cheaper than ownership with less responsibility so your mom might be more inclined to do that.

I agree with the above poster, get a job if don't have one, get the money in savings then talk to your mom again. Also consider whether your mom can afford the monthly upkeep on a horse. Buying one is the least expensive part of ownership.

What are you going to do with the horse when you go to college in a few years? Do you expect your mom to get you a car in a year or two when you can drive? Maintainence and up keep on a car may be another expense your mom is anticipating in the near future... these are just some of the things she might be considering. Can you pay for a horse and upkeep on a car? Will you have time to work and take care of the horse? Etc etc.
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    08-05-2011, 09:44 AM
Green Broke
All of the above is what I did to show my parents that I did actually want a horse & was willing to commit to having one. Thankfully, my parents fully financially support my horse. However, all physical work, etc. is up to me. No more sleep in's, weekends away, etc. You also have to remember how it may effect your schooling - horses take up a lot of time.

Lessons are also a huge point - they show your parent you are willing to stick to it without them ended up with a horse, feed, regularly needing shoes, worming, ect. That you don't ride or spend any time with. I am not saying you will do this, but it is best to show your parent that you won't. Save every cent, put it somewhere and label it "Horse", taking money out of that - shows your parents you aren't fully committed. As someone who was once in your situation - parents do have reasons for not buying their child a horse, its not because they are mean or don't want to buy you one. I am sure that if you spoke to them about the reasons of them not buying you a horse you may find that they have very legit reasons and it may give you an idea of how to work around it.
howsecrazy likes this.
    08-05-2011, 09:54 AM
Some really great posts filled with wonderful information.

Let me add that if you are coming at your mother the same way you are posting it is not helping your case.

The whole 'if I can not have a horsieeeeee I will just die' thing does not tend to win favor with parents/adults. As hard as it is to believe, your parents were once your age. They know what it is like.

I always wanted a horse growing up. It is what I asked for on every holiday. In the end I bought my first horse when I graduated from college, with my own money.

Use this time to learn learn learn. Learn about horses. Learn about training. Learn how to muck a stall. Learn all there is to learn about horses.
    08-05-2011, 10:31 AM
I've wanted a horse for as long as I can remember. At 24, I'm still waiting. It took me a long time to accept that my parents just couldn't afford it - especially when you live in the city, board can be through-the-roof expensive. They also didn't want me working as much as I would have needed to throughout highschool to pay for a horse's upkeep (and no matter how much a teenager in highschool works, it likely still won't be enough to deal with a sudden expense like a large vet bill) - grades came first.

Get lessons to start with - it's a much more reasonable expense for your parents and much easier to pay for yourself if need be. I worked at the stables through the last years of highschool and college to pay off my lessons - you gain so much experience that way, valuable experience that you can apply to your own horse when you're able to financially support one yourself.

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