Mud inglorius mud!

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Mud inglorius mud!

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    11-10-2009, 05:59 AM
Mud inglorius mud!

Mud….I hate b*****d mud! I swear that the tribes that inhabited the southern bit of Essex in ancient times probably had fifty different words for mud like Eskimos have for snow.
Hanging on the edge of the great clay scab that London floats on we only have to sniff a little moisture in the atmosphere for our fields to start turning into living history displays depicting the trenches of the first world war.
Essex inhabitants are straight and tall…they have to be or they drown in ‘Chingford chocolate sauce!’ Our horses get mud fever and thrush…and are probably fast evolving either enormous feet so they can slide around their fields like pond skater insects or a combination of sieves and gills so that they can return to the ooze that their lung fish ancestors emerged from!
I’ve lost count of the times I lost a wellie boot to the black hole like pull of our paddock entrance mire. Picking out feet requires either a pressure washer or a trowel and the extracted goo can be quite successfully worked on a potter’s wheel.
I want to move somewhere where mud is only a faint memory….somewhere warm and dry….PLEASE!
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    11-10-2009, 07:08 AM
Oh my goodness, don't get my started on mud! We don't get a lot of rain, but when it does it certainly gets muddy.
Don't you just hate it when your picking out feet and the mud manages to get all up your arm?
And in my paddocks, there are some mud holes so deep your wellies sink into them and the mud rises over and into the boots.
And no matter how hard I try, I invariably get one horse who gets mud fever. Oh the joy, of looking after other people's horses. They complain about me not taking care of their horses, and I do in fact. I hose the wet mud off if the weather allows, I dandy brush all the dried stuff off. Man I wish I got better pay.
Mud is just another one of those things us horse people have to put up with.
    11-10-2009, 07:36 AM
Ah, the ever popular combination of earth and water...
This season has seen it's fair share of rain, and it's result has been most unpleasant. I have found my dear equine legs encased in this foul concoction daily. If this situation does not subside, I undoubtedly will require hammer and chisel to find the fur. Now with regard to the hooves, that almost becomes a lesson in futility. As soon as one reaches the sole and frog area, and consequently banishes the unsightly combination of earth, moisture, and manure back to whence it came, you are only to find it has immediately regrouped and regained it's stronghold on it's new home.
If that does not add adventure to the day, then the trip out to gather up our mount has it's own unique rules of engagement... The should probably read as the Ten Commandments of the pasture..

I. Thou shall not walk too slowly (lest ye drown in an unspeakable manner)
II. Thou shall not walk too quickly (lest ye slip and fall to the delight of the pasture residents)
III. Thou shall not forget thy rubber boots (lest ye ruin thy best riding footware)
IV. Thou shall not covet thy neighbors dry pastures
V. Thou shall not turn hose on neighbors pastures (to enjoy them suffering
the same fate)
VI. Thou shall not yell, whistle or bellow thy horses name (in the belief that they would respond, and miss the comedic value or our personal mud bath, horses have a mutual agreement about this)
VII. Thou shall not stand at the gate in a foolish belief that if we wait long enough, it shall become a solid pathway (mud knows we will try that one..)
VIII. Thou shall remember next season to rotate pasture grazing, as to avoid the previous commandments
IX. Thou shall not concrete, asphalt or tar in any manner thy once pleasant grasslands in anger or retribution
X. Thou shall not place down, or attempt to change the footing with good rubber mats, in a vain attempt to remove the challenge of simple personal survival skills
    11-10-2009, 07:40 AM
LooseWolf, that made my day!
I love V. Haha I'm tempted to go turn the hose onto my neighbours paddocks now.
    11-10-2009, 07:44 AM
LMAO--Wonderful poetry from all of you on the foul subject of mud. Such beautiful descriptions. Are any of you writers or just disgrunteled riders?
    11-10-2009, 08:00 AM
Possibly disgruntled writing riders?
I'll need a bit more time to consider that idea...
    11-10-2009, 08:10 AM
I'm a disgruntled care taker of horses! I look after a few to earn some money and mud always seems to hinder me.
I want to drown mud in a deep hole, but I know that would make it muddier and even more infuriating.
    11-10-2009, 08:13 AM
Ah mud glorious mud!

My lower pasture is exactly that...lower so it is pretty much wetlands. Invariably at dinner time my 2 ponies are in the upper pasture...and luckily they do come running when called. It is a sight to see my 1600lb gelding thundering through the wetlands...mud flying everywhere so that when he arrives at the barn for his meal...he's covered up to and including his belly!

And we won't talk about my black, white and constantly muddy pinto mare. I call her a mud ***** 'cos she just grinds the stuff in multiple times a day. It takes an hour just to get down to what should be black and white but ends up black and white with a fine dusting of muddy brown that never comes quite clean with just vigorous brushing.
    11-10-2009, 08:30 AM
So, the true meaning of a "black hole" ?

However, drowning mud in mud, an Interesting concept...
It would be a fitting end to itself...

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