Mum wants to sell DJ *Rant* - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 19 Old 06-29-2013, 07:52 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New Zealand
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Mum wants to sell DJ *Rant*

We have had this wee mare since August 2012, and my mum bought her for $200 as a trekking horse. She is 14.3hh, 10yo and thoroughbred.
My mum has never ridden this horse at all after deciding that maybe she's not really right for her. I pay for everything for DJ, including feed, covers, tack, and general health care(farrier/worming etc), minus one vet bill so far which I am paying off.

I know **** well that DJ won't get anything but dog tucker price in this market and with her abusive past (she was an spca case, and then was dumped in a paddock on the way to her "new" home before I got her). She isn't suitable for most people around here either, and with a lack of grass in the general area, nobody even wants a new horse right now, let alone one that needs to learn to trust humans again.

My point is, mum bought this horse for $200, and ever since then I have considered her mine when mum lost interest. I ride her, I worm her, I book the farrier and chiropractic sessions and pay for them out of my own pocket, I have an account at the vets that I have set up automatic payments for. I am the one out there morning and night, so this horse may as well be mine anyway but mum doesn't see it like that because she payed the initial money.

Would it be rude of me to hand my mum the $200 that she payed for her, and tell her that she can consider her horse sold to me?
I really want to do that, but I'm worried about mum taking it the wrong way(she's been doing that a lot lately, even dad is getting sick of it). She keeps complaining about how DJ costs *her* money, when in actual fact, it is me paying for everything out of my own pocket, for both of my horses, not just her.
I don't want DJ put onto the market, especially not right now when so many owners are struggling with feed and grass due to the drought over summer, and the sudden rain now which means everything is just mud. She wouldn't be the sort of horse that would fetch a suitable home for her very easily, and I have done a lot of work with her, and I really like this horse, she has a lot to give and learns very quickly once you can get through her mental blocks... That's the other thing, she can be extremely dangerous and people that don't know her don't realise that. DJ broke my foot a while back, and in that incident, if I hadn't moved the way I did, she would have broken my face. Nobody is going to want a horse that almost caused a human death, and I wouldn't be selling her without warning people of her past and what she does when she gets panicked. She rears, only very little with me, but if anybody puts too much pressure on her then she would go over.. This is about the time where I sit and think of great curse words that would suit her previous owners.

Honestly, would it be rude of me to outright buy DJ from my mum, since I pay for everything for her and take care of her anyway?

I test rode DJ before we got her and she was brilliant to ride, I trekked her through the forest with every distraction you could think of, including the sound of waves crashing in the background and she was great.
When DJ first arrived at our house, she was a skinny mess of disgusting hooves, bald patches everywhere, and you couldn't catch her, and when you did, you couldn't take her away from Mitch or she would have a fit and panic, becoming very dangerous to handle. She was a completely different horse from what I trialed (hmmm, call me suspicious).
Now she is making a lot of progress, I can take her away from Mitch and tie her up on her own to fuss over her and saddle her up. She is still very nervy when you first get on but once she settles down she is great.

-Sorry, I probably sound like a spoilt little kid in this, I'm just sick of mum thinking that DJ is costing her money and that she's just sitting in a paddock when she doesn't see my feed bills etc that come through, and she's never out there to see the mountains of progress this horse is making, though her biggest progress of all is trusting humans again. I basically re-broke this horse from the start and my mum wants to take that away from me because she doesn't realise how much I actually do.

this is DJ little over 2 weeks ago (and Mitch because he's great at photo bombing!)


R.I.P ~ Bubbles - 25yo tb mare - 13.04.2011 ~ 8:30am ~ passed away naturally and peacefully in my arms
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post #2 of 19 Old 06-29-2013, 07:58 PM
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You have made valid points, express them to your mum & offer to buy the horse. Good luck!
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post #3 of 19 Old 06-29-2013, 08:38 PM
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...and let us know what your mom says.
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post #4 of 19 Old 06-29-2013, 08:57 PM Thread Starter
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I will thank you, I'm just a bit worried about it since I am still in my parents home and I am still a teenager. But I have an income, and I'm also a vet nursing student.
I may just have to wait until mum is in a good mood and talk to her about it then, she has been very good at turning things around lately and I'm not quite sure what's going on there.
But I will let you know how it goes when I sucker up the courage to try and talk to her about it

R.I.P ~ Bubbles - 25yo tb mare - 13.04.2011 ~ 8:30am ~ passed away naturally and peacefully in my arms
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post #5 of 19 Old 06-29-2013, 09:36 PM
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That is insane! Definitely explain to your mum all that you've been doing for her, it's not fair that she just sell her when you've put so much work into her. Let us know what happens!
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post #6 of 19 Old 06-29-2013, 09:42 PM
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Would it be rude of me to hand my mum the $200 that she payed for her, and tell her that she can consider her horse sold to me?
I really want to do that, but I'm worried about mum taking it the wrong way(she's been doing that a lot lately, even dad is getting sick of it).
Yes, that would be incredibly rude. It would not, however, be rude of you to compile the receipts for the bills you have paid, offer your mother the $200 she paid, and the remainder of the vet bill she paid for, and ask if you can become the horses 'official' owner. You need to come at it from a 'mature, adult perspective' without an ounce of 'tone' in your voice
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post #7 of 19 Old 06-29-2013, 10:04 PM
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I think you really have to approach your mum at the right time and in the right way! There is no point bailing her up and going on the defensive. Pick a time when she is in a good mood, and she isn't busy.

Best of luck I hope it works well for you!

Horses lend us the wings we lack;

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post #8 of 19 Old 06-29-2013, 10:28 PM
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I would add up every dime I'd spent on the horse, board, farrier, dewormer, vet, rugs, sheets, grooming supplies and TIME that you've spent working with her. Put a value on the work you've done and then tally it all up and make an offer to your mother for the horse. If she declines, then ask to be reimbursed for your expenses since it's not your horse. I, personally, would do it in front of my dad just in case things go south.

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post #9 of 19 Old 06-29-2013, 10:42 PM
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good luck
hope you are successful

Country Woman

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post #10 of 19 Old 06-29-2013, 10:48 PM
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Buy that darn horse! You look good together and he looks very cute! The chances that he would be bought by the doggers are pretty big! Buy him nooow

A horse of course!
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