Mum wants to sell DJ *Rant* - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 19 Old 06-29-2013, 11:01 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by alexischristina View Post
Yes, that would be incredibly rude. It would not, however, be rude of you to compile the receipts for the bills you have paid, offer your mother the $200 she paid, and the remainder of the vet bill she paid for, and ask if you can become the horses 'official' owner. You need to come at it from a 'mature, adult perspective' without an ounce of 'tone' in your voice
Thank you. This is exactly why I'm going to wait for a day that she is in a good mood and so am I. I don't want to go and make things worse by saying something I really shouldn't to my mum. I only have $50 left of the vet bill, and dad payed that one, so he is due to get the last $50 of that on Tuesday. My mum has not payed a dime on that horse other than the initial $200, so I will pay dad the last $50 back on Tuesday (hence why I now have an AP set up at the vets for stuff like that) and get the cash out for mum after that.
Thank you for your opinion on that specific paragraph that I wrote in my op, it really is much appreciated :)

R.I.P ~ Bubbles - 25yo tb mare - 13.04.2011 ~ 8:30am ~ passed away naturally and peacefully in my arms
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post #12 of 19 Old 06-29-2013, 11:25 PM
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I'd wait until she mentions selling her again and then say, "How much do you want for her because I'd like to buy her."

In the meantime be saving every penny you can so that you'll have the money. Also get a receipt or bill of sale, since you say your mom's been acting different. No need to be rude about it at all, just explain to her that you want to have proof of ownership should she ever get stolen or loose or that you want to sell her or any other situations you can think of where you'd need proof of ownership. That way it shouldn't hurt your mom's feelings like it would if she thought you didn't trust her.
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post #13 of 19 Old 06-29-2013, 11:35 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by JCnGrace View Post
I'd wait until she mentions selling her again and then say, "How much do you want for her because I'd like to buy her."

In the meantime be saving every penny you can so that you'll have the money. Also get a receipt or bill of sale, since you say your mom's been acting different. No need to be rude about it at all, just explain to her that you want to have proof of ownership should she ever get stolen or loose or that you want to sell her or any other situations you can think of where you'd need proof of ownership. That way it shouldn't hurt your mom's feelings like it would if she thought you didn't trust her.
I do have the money, it's just sitting in my bank account at the moment.

I don't know how to go about getting a receipt/bill of sale for a horse though, it's not something commonly done, and I have never had to get one before.. So how does that work? Can I just print out a letter that says DJ has been sold, and have it dated and signed by both mum and myself? -This is of course, if mum agrees to sell DJ to me, I don't see why she wouldn't but I will have to tread carefully over the subject with her.

R.I.P ~ Bubbles - 25yo tb mare - 13.04.2011 ~ 8:30am ~ passed away naturally and peacefully in my arms
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post #14 of 19 Old 06-29-2013, 11:53 PM
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Originally Posted by HollyBubbles View Post
I do have the money, it's just sitting in my bank account at the moment.

I don't know how to go about getting a receipt/bill of sale for a horse though, it's not something commonly done, and I have never had to get one before.. So how does that work? Can I just print out a letter that says DJ has been sold, and have it dated and signed by both mum and myself? -This is of course, if mum agrees to sell DJ to me, I don't see why she wouldn't but I will have to tread carefully over the subject with her.
Yes, just type up a description of the horse and you could even have a picture of her on it, along with the selling amount and date, then both you (as buyer) and your mom (as seller) sign and date it.
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post #15 of 19 Old 06-30-2013, 12:25 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by JCnGrace View Post
Yes, just type up a description of the horse and you could even have a picture of her on it, along with the selling amount and date, then both you (as buyer) and your mom (as seller) sign and date it.
Cool, thankyou. I'll wait and have a talk to mum about the issue first and if she agree's I'll type something up. I plan on moving into a completely different city to where I do now, once I have finished my vet nursing. So I wouldn't mind having a bill of sale anyway, just for the pure fact that if something were to happen when I take my horse/s with me, I still have proof that they are my own.

I just have to wrangle in my temper first. I've always had a quick temper and mouth to fit, but if I have at least an opening sentence in mind then I should be fine to discuss it with mum.

R.I.P ~ Bubbles - 25yo tb mare - 13.04.2011 ~ 8:30am ~ passed away naturally and peacefully in my arms
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post #16 of 19 Old 06-30-2013, 12:45 AM
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Originally Posted by HollyBubbles View Post
Cool, thankyou. I'll wait and have a talk to mum about the issue first and if she agree's I'll type something up. I plan on moving into a completely different city to where I do now, once I have finished my vet nursing. So I wouldn't mind having a bill of sale anyway, just for the pure fact that if something were to happen when I take my horse/s with me, I still have proof that they are my own.

I just have to wrangle in my temper first. I've always had a quick temper and mouth to fit, but if I have at least an opening sentence in mind then I should be fine to discuss it with mum.
That will be the hardest thing - you need to approach it the best way possible for the best outcome.

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post #17 of 19 Old 06-30-2013, 12:50 AM
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Do I think it's rude? No because my dad tried to pull the same thing with me over Sonny. There were random moments where he would make it out to the barn & help, but the past two years (or maybe year...) he completely stepped out. Like you, my grandpa & I footed the bill for everything. We bought the grain, shavings, got his hooves trimmed, paid the vet bills when she had to come out because we thought he was colicing, went over there 2x a day to feed him AND clean his stall. Plus I don't know how many hours I put into this horse in training and ride time to make him suitable for my sister. My dad believed that since he footed the initial purchase price the horse was still his. After YEARS of us covering everything (I don't think he's had to pay for that horse's feet to get trimmed in the past 7yrs). The best part? If I sold the horse he expected me to give the money to my little sister. Because he's her horse. Yeah, wasn't going to happen. If I'd actually taken the time to tally the amount I would have bought the horse & then some.

ANYWAY. Your mom sounds a bit like my dad. The wise move? Talk to your dad about it, have HIM talk to your mother, then you go about it in a adult manner. Because I refuse to deal with my dad & put up with his wackadoo b.s. - I would have just handed him the money, said thanks for the horse, & walked out. Definitely don't advise that though...
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post #18 of 19 Old 06-30-2013, 03:15 AM
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Not sure how old you are, but if you are a minor, you cannot legally own a horse. So have the horse put in your Dad's name, as Mom seems a little touchy right now.

As to what is happening there, it's likely the menopause. She's not having any fun either.
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post #19 of 19 Old 06-30-2013, 03:43 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by AlexS View Post
Not sure how old you are, but if you are a minor, you cannot legally own a horse. So have the horse put in your Dad's name, as Mom seems a little touchy right now.

As to what is happening there, it's likely the menopause. She's not having any fun either.
I'm 18, so legally I'm an adult(physically anyway - mentally, nope!) and can own a horse... in NZ anyway thankyou for pointing that out though, I've only been 18 since February :)

Yeah, all I know is she definitely isn't quite right at the moment so i'm going to have to be very careful how I go about talking to her, I guess it could be menopause, or maybe she's just stressed out about something, I'm not sure, but whatever it is it's starting to get to everybody in the household, so I tend to keep to myself out in the shed doing assignments, or out with the horses doing anything I can... My new *thing* has been to make showhunter and xcountry type jumps and fillers
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R.I.P ~ Bubbles - 25yo tb mare - 13.04.2011 ~ 8:30am ~ passed away naturally and peacefully in my arms
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