My horse was hurt when borrowed, no remorse, concern, nothing!!
 
 

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My horse was hurt when borrowed, no remorse, concern, nothing!!

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  • Someone hurt my horse
  • Could i have hurt my horses leg by putting the bandages on wrong twice

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    09-23-2011, 01:08 AM
  #1
Green Broke
My horse was hurt when borrowed, no remorse, concern, nothing!!

Well, I really just needed to vent or feel validated in my feelings. So if you will take the time and give your opinions I would appreciate it. Here goes.............
Well, three weeks ago, my father in law asked to borrow my horse to go check out a trail for hunting. I really didn't want to loan my horse but felt the old obligation because of who he is. Anyway, my horse gets hurt. Bad gouge to the cannon bone. I didn't get a call, nothing. I had my husband call him to see if they were on their way back and they were. I wanted him to drop him by on his way back home, (up the road a couple miles, ugh!) and he says, well, I need to bandage him up he was scraped up a bit. Well, I fret until they get here, we go up only to see his leg laid open! Now, after seeing some pictures online it could have been worse but it was bad to me. Well, he wraps it up after slapping an ointment on it, sent one of his workers to ride him to my place. UM, not good, his bandage slipped, and he was limping at that point, bucking the rider. Well, she walked him to my house. So, getting him there I had to proceed to bandage him myself.
A couple days later, I demanded we take him to the vet due to his leg swelling quite a bit. We needed to ask the father in law to borrow the horse trailer to take him in, we were told that it was stupid to take him in and all vets want is our money, he hung up on my husband. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I called and scheduled a farm call, and was very pissed. Later that morning he called and said we could use it. So, with fear of what it was going to cost me and the added 60.00 to come out we borrowed it. Well, 208.00 later we were back home. Bute, DMSO, antibiotics, in tow. Ok well, I never asked him for any money, tho I think he should have offered. Man owns a working ranch, he's not hurting for money, but anyway, money aside, I never got a SORRY, a HOW IS HE DOING, NOTHING!!! What is wrong with people!! God I have been struggling with this since it happened. All we got was that's stupid to take him in, just loosen his bandage. What about tetanus?? Geesh no one asked. Ok well, today, I had to take him back in because of proud flesh!!! Yikes!! He didn't fuss about the trailer but did say to just throw some meat tenderizer on it and that be it! Ok I have heard they did this in the old days but, I knew it needed to be cut off so off we went. 80.00 later we are home and doing well.
But! Still NOT ONE THING ABOUT SORRY, NEED MONEY, HOW IS HE, NOTHING!
Am I crazy to be upset????

Thanks for reading!

I do need to add that I don't think it was his intent for my horse to get hurt but dang, he can care!
     
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    09-23-2011, 01:26 AM
  #2
Trained
If he owns a working ranch, chances are he feels the horse is just another piece of farm equipment like an ATV or Tractor. You can't make him 'feel' for equipment and you're not likely to change him.

He most certainly should be paying for the vet care, IMO. If he drove your car and ran it into a tree, he'd surely pay the deductible for the insurance or pay for the repair work wouldn't he? I would take the vet bills to him when you are all done seeing the vet, and ask him to reimburse you for them. No, I would not involve the husband, it's his dad and he sounds like a bit of a .....drill sergeant. Take care of your own business with the man. And don't loan him your horse again. It's your horse, just say NO.

And if he repeats his unwanted advice about how stupid it was to take the horse to the vet, tell him you didn't ask for his opinion because you felt your opinion and decision to take the horse to the vet were sufficient. (I personally would tell him when I wanted his opinion I'd either give it to him or slap it out of him, but that may be more confrontational than you are comfortable being with the man. LOL!)

Good luck! Try to stay on an even keel when dealing with this guy, sounds like if he can push your buttons he will.
     
    09-23-2011, 01:34 AM
  #3
Green Broke
Yes, that is what I have been thinking. About the equipment. Oh and he has a way of making ya feel like you owe him and he is entitled to everything! Anyway, I should have said no! I feel so bad that I didn't. BUttttttttttttttt, boy I have learned a lot from this and will not ever make this mistake again! Oh and just to add a little tid bit. I almost have to laugh because its so him! I was trying to soften things when I went up to see Kinley and said to him, Kinley is not allowed to go out and play with you any more. Thinking I would get a im sorry this happened and we would go from there. Well, what I got was " THAT HORSE LEARNED MORE IN ONE DAY WITH ME THEN HE HAS SINCE YOU HAVE HAD HIM" oh wth??? I was lividddddddddddddddd!!! And you hit it on the head, he does push my buttons and that is why I go out of my way to keep it cool. Maybe I shouldn't cause when it blows boy its going to blow!
Thanks for your reply!!
     
    09-23-2011, 01:44 AM
  #4
Trained
Quote:
Originally Posted by nvr2many    
Yes, that is what I have been thinking. About the equipment. Oh and he has a way of making ya feel like you owe him and he is entitled to everything! Anyway, I should have said no! I feel so bad that I didn't. BUttttttttttttttt, boy I have learned a lot from this and will not ever make this mistake again! Oh and just to add a little tid bit. I almost have to laugh because its so him! I was trying to soften things when I went up to see Kinley and said to him, Kinley is not allowed to go out and play with you any more. Thinking I would get a im sorry this happened and we would go from there. Well, what I got was " THAT HORSE LEARNED MORE IN ONE DAY WITH ME THEN HE HAS SINCE YOU HAVE HAD HIM" oh wth??? I was lividddddddddddddddd!!! And you hit it on the head, he does push my buttons and that is why I go out of my way to keep it cool. Maybe I shouldn't cause when it blows boy its going to blow!
Thanks for your reply!!
LOL, then feel free to borrow the, "When I want your opinion I'll slap it out of you!" line, sounds like you might end up there anyhow.

If you managed to grit your teeth and walk away when he said, "That horse learned more from me.....etc etc." then you're a way better woman than I am. I'd have lost it and enumerated exactly how many jackassed things the horse learned, I.e. How to cut his leg to the bone, how to be inadequately bandaged and then RIDDEN while injured.....OH YEAH, there'd have been a major blow on that one. But I admit to being a bit of a hot head when it comes to my ponies.
     
    09-23-2011, 01:48 AM
  #5
Green Broke
Well, this was said when we first arrived. All the lack of care and crap happened after! Anyone that looked at me sure could see how pissed I was. The look I gave my husband was hot enough to melt anything in sight. Like I said, I learned a lot from that night and he will not get anything by me like that again without an explosion! Ever!! His time to be put in his place is long over due, and when it comes to my babies, watch out for the mamma!!!
     
    09-23-2011, 02:35 AM
  #6
Yearling
You have every right to be angry, and like Dreamcatcher said, he should pay for the vet bills. Especially after that comment he made - "That horse learned more than one day with me..."

You should add $20 on to the vet bills when you give it to him just for saying that.
     
    09-23-2011, 08:02 AM
  #7
Foal
Wow, your father in law and my mother in law sound identical, even down to the part about making you feel like you owe him and he's entitled to everything. My horses stay at her working farm and I help with running the business so I have daily contact with her. Here is what I've learned: You can't change 'em. Try to "be the duck" and let comments roll off your back like water or else you will be angry and frustrated most of the time. When my MIL crosses the line with me, I do speak my mind in no uncertain terms, but those occasions are few and far between in order to keep peace... old dogs can't be bothered to learn new tricks, accept that his way is much different from yours and your heart has room for "farm equipment" even if his doesn't. What ever you do... don't take anything he says personally!
Susan Crumrine likes this.
     
    09-23-2011, 09:19 AM
  #8
Yearling
I am laughing so hard, because I thought I was the only one...
Working farm here, 90 year old father in law.
Senility and other mental health issues going on with him....
I get accused of everything from breaking windows, ( after a hail storm with 2 inch balls of hail broke it), to putting dirt in the combine and tractors gas tanks. ( even though my husband has to fix everything).. this has been going on for 10 years. He has never spoken one word to me other than to accuse me of this vandalism...
Its very hard to walk away. I do about 90 percent of the time, but have lost it once or twice. Just know that you don't deserve this, your horse doesnt either.
Sorry for you, I know how frustrating it is...
     
    09-23-2011, 10:49 AM
  #9
Showing
I'm with you Susan. I thought I, too was the only one.
Very similar situation, I bought & own the family farm now that my grandfather started back in the 50s.
My grandparents live with me, I am their caretaker as well as running the farm.
My grandma has congestive heart failure and my grandpa is 80, in the early stages of Alztheimer's. He is very beligerent at times and accusing a great deal of the time and over silly things. The last was a spat was with my hubby over where he moved gpa's fence pliers. The man has no business trying to repair fence if there was any to be done in the first place. The pliers - exactly where he thought they were missing from.

I have lost my cool on more than one occasion. It's tough and can be very frustrating. I've found it's much easier to nod my head and move on. That doesn't mean there aren't days that I don't want to hide in the corner of a stall with my favorite horse and cry my eyes out though.
     
    09-23-2011, 11:24 AM
  #10
Green Broke
Always look at yourself in the mirror, you don't like the way he acts and think he should pay the vet bills, I'm going to do a bit of reading between the lines. Are you mooching off of him ? He lives a couple miles up the road, Is it your house ? Or one he gave/ loaned you? Do you and your husband have independent jobs? Or work on his place? How much is truely yours and how much is his?
I have seen this situaion alot. Usually with grown adult kids that let parents run their life because they are basically letting their parents still support them, People like him like to be bossy and controlling, so they "give" things. But then hold them over your head. The minute you accept a handout you have given that person control over your life. If you don't like the control you can't take the handouts.

Now I may be completely wrong and you and husband may both own your own place, pay all your own bills and have independent jobs, in that case you need to tell your husband to grow a pair and stand up to his father.
     

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