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My horse... isn't my life?

1K views 11 replies 9 participants last post by  Yogiwick 
#1 ·
Howdy!

Life is super stressful right now and I'd like to get some horsey peoples opinions on a situation.

When we purchased my mare (12 year old 14 hand), I wanted to chill and trail ride. We'd looked at other horses and spent 3 months looking at Dawn before purchasing her.

I wanted a quiet horse to have fun with but as I am becoming a better rider, Dawn is slowing down and unable to advance much more. In addition, Dawn seems to resent being ridden even if I do groundwork and am just riding at a walk/trot.

She and I have a bond but we don't 'click'.

I don't know what to do, if I should sell or what. I have a horse that is a possibility for me to buy to replace her but I feel like I'm cheating on her.

The other horse is the horse that 'gets' me and is my true 'horsey love'. He and I instantly clicked when we met but my hopes were dashed by his owner. The owner said he wanted to sell and then decided he didn't want to because of emotional stuff.

Now the owner is reconsidering as he is advancing in age quite a bit.

I am lost with what I should do...
 
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#2 ·
I don't know what to do, if I should sell or what. I have a horse that is a possibility for me to buy to replace her but I feel like I'm cheating on her.
I can 100% guarantee you that she doesn't feel this way. She doesn't care.

It's not fair to either of you to keep her just because you're putting human emotions on her. It's also not fair to keep making either of you do something that you're clearly not enjoying.

Sell her and buy a horse that you'll enjoy riding. Life is too short to ride a horse you don't enjoy.

However, before selling her on, I'd get her thoroughly vetted to see if there's a medical reason why she's become the way she has (arthritis, ulcers, etc).
 
#4 ·
Well, you seem to be in an emotional turmoil about selling your horse, and you want to buy a horse who's owner is in an emotional turmoil about selling you his horse. It is easy to get attached to our animals. But we need to be wise and not attach human emotions to different species. I'm sure your horse will be just as content with another owner who gives proper care and attention to her.
I would let the owner of the horse you want know you are interested but you will continue looking while he is making up his mind. If he thinks you are a good match, maybe he will see selling as a good thing for all concerned. If he doesn't, move on.
 
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#5 ·
Well, you seem to be in an emotional turmoil about selling your horse, and you want to buy a horse who's owner is in an emotional turmoil about selling you his horse.
I would let the owner of the horse you want know you are interested but you will continue looking while he is making up his mind. If he thinks you are a good match, maybe he will see selling as a good thing for all concerned. If he doesn't, move on.
I've contacted him already but I am waiting for a reply. His horse is one I met whilst visiting a relative 1,200 miles from home about 2 years ago. The time and distance hasn't changed my feelings for this horse (Monty). I think about Monty every single day and miss him terribly.
 
#7 ·
You're way overthinking it. Sell your mare to a good home that will care for her and she will be happy as a clam.

Horses are all about enjoyment. Do what you want to do. As long as you do that with the horses best interest in mind (not dumping her at some sketchy place or something) then there is nothing wrong with making changes.
 
#10 ·
I know exactly how you feel with the cheating feeling. I still have my first horse. He's 32. When I decided it was time for a new horse i bred for Riley. When he was born I didn't feel bad because I was just working him on the ground so I really wasn't cheating but then when I started riding him I felt like I wans't being fair to Pistol but to be honest with you, he isn't a cuddle bug so as long as I feed him and take care of him when he needs me, he's good. I mean he trusts me with his life, and I trust him but I also respect that he isn't a lovey dovely hang on me guy where Riley is. Riley wants hugs and kisses and rides and cuddles. Pistol wants dinner and a good grooming. He'll ride for you but you best leave him alone when you are done!

I think if one horse is all you can afford or have the room for, then while it's a hard decision to make, selling your current one for what you really want/need is probably your bets option... hard decision I know. Good luck!
 
#11 ·
Thank y'all so much, I really needed the assurance that I'm not overreacting and that Dawn would be O.K. Your feedback has really helped and I am very thankful for it :)
I actually found out that a close horsey friend is looking for a small mare to work with. She and I have talked and she may decide to lease/buy Dawn, if they're a good match for each other. She's coming to try her out on Tuesday, so let's hope it goes well...
 
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