I read your post and am going to respond sans first reading any other responses (thus, if I am being redundant here, I apologize).
My quick & dirty answer? BEWARE of any relationship wherein you and your partner do NOT SEE BASICALLY EYE TO EYE ON MATTERS OF MONEY.
You say you are engaged, which is good, because it is during THIS TIME PERIOD that you have the ability with minimal hassle (emotional pain not withstanding) to leave the relationship, if need be.
This sounds incredibly harsh, no doubt, to a younger person having not yet experienced the horrendous nightmare of A)fighting, CONSTANTLY, for years over each of your differing VALUES IN REGARD TO FINANCIAL MATTERS; or B)having to split up a MARRIAGE, POSSIBLY DESTROYING your children's NEED to be raised by two parents, in the same home, every day, because the "staying together" option would look like A above (constant arguing is even harder on kids)...
If you and your fiancé differ intrinsically on values of ANY OF THE FOLLOWING : MORALS/RELIGION/MONEY/SEX/LIFESTYLE....AND you CAN'T truly "get together" (agree to AGREE ON ALL!), you or he will EITHER HAVE TO LEARN TO BE EXTREMELY MALLEABLE and more often than not just "go with it" and do what the other wants (this builds huge resentment in ALL BUT THE MIGHTIEST of cooperative-minded folks), & even then, I'm not so sure...OR LEAVE. PERIOD.
It sucks, but IMHO ONLY, this is the "WAY IT IS" MOST of the time when it comes to relationships. I also believe that IF MORE PEOPLE took the necessary TIME to look at these matters while "playing house" before marriage, our divorce rate in the US would not be, depending on where you get your stats, nearly 60%(!), kids would would grow up in two parent households, & the PARENTS IN THE HOUSEHOLD (as well as the kids!) would be so much more secure and well adjusted!
I am happily married for nearly 10 years, but my husband and I are unusually malleable, each of us bent 90% to the others beliefs, over time; me to his re: religion and sex, he to mine over finances and "roles"...we got veeery lucky. & we still struggle. We would have divorced 100% after finally LOOKING AT THESE ISSUES of VAST DISAGREEMENT after TWO YEARS OF MARRIAGE (ridiculous on our part that we waited this long!) IF HE HADN'T ALREADY suffered through a terrible divorce and realized neither of us would fare well through that process..enter therapy, LOTS AND LOTS OF COMMUNICATION and getting to the CORE of WHY we held the beliefs we did and WHERE EACH OF US WAS willing to BEND.
It DEFINITELY BROUGHT US CLOSER than I've ever been to anyone, but WHY GO THROUGH THIS if you can find someone with whom you already agree on the important stuff.I'm not saying "leave him!" at all...but only YOU CAN KNOW where you two are & if it's WORTH THE STRUGGLE. Its so much larger than tack, horses, & "whether you should have to do what he wants/he what you want" on horse-related stuff. It speaks to the LARGER ISSUES in the relationship and what you each are willing to look at/deal with/or get out.
I TRULY wish you the very best...this is really tough stuff...B2H
"I'm too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener"